Page 15

NINE

Baby girl .

Malaya’s pretty face crossed my mind as the curtains lowered behind the cast of the beautiful production I’d just experienced.

Black ballerinas .

This was her speed. There was once a point of her life when ballet excited her. As her mother’s addiction worsened and her world changed, so did her interests. She was more devoted to helping cure her mother’s illness than pointing her toes and hand-washing her unitard.

Ballet had taken the backseat. So had cheer. School was the only thing she was hanging onto and she was barely keeping up with her studies. She’d come so far, surpassing every expectation of the average Black girl.

The world hated to admit that they were the most educated group of women in the world, which made her academic journey much harder than it had to be. Her brain made her the target for unsolicited advice, hatred, and harassment. Nevertheless, she still prevailed, making her the only fifteen year old senior at her school.

Seeing the cast during the hour and a half long show made a decision for me that I’d been struggling with for some time now. Yara was such a great person, but her addiction was eating away at her beauty– inside and out . It affected the way my daughter saw her, operated on a daily basis, and compartmentalized certain aspects of her childhood.

If it wasn’t beautiful, I didn’t want my daughter to experience it. She deserved the best of everything. That included us. Her parents . Yara was no good for Malaya. Not now, at least. Stripping her of her rights to see Malaya would come with its challenges, but it was a risk I was willing to take.

Ninety days .

Over the next ninety days, I’d taper her access to the child we’d created together. Weekend visits would be limited. Phone calls would be shorter. Facetime calls would be fewer.

It was time. I had to get a hold of Malaya before she lost herself in her mother’s hardships. They weren’t hers and I needed to help her understand that. It started with the reduction of Yara’s presence.

My ass rose from my seat and my hands met near my chest. They collided. Over and over and over again as a reel of the story that had been told through dance played in my head. As the applause subsided, a pair of pretty brown eyes found me.

The influence of the light far above her head emphasized every detail of her being. She hardly looked anything like I’d imagined. She was thinner. Darker. Smaller. Prettier. Better. Putting it lightly, she was a sight to behold. Just like her .

My eyes found one of the few long figures on the first row. Roulette stood with her hands hidden in front of her. She wore a cream, long sleeved dress that fully exposed her shoulders. Shoulders I wanted to kiss the body butter from until my lips and her skin were both raw.

In addition to the eighty-eight days, six more had passed. Aside from our time in the hallway, I hadn’t seen Roulette. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to or need to. It was because I was on a strict schedule with very strict orders since receiving clearance from her family.

My attendance at The Whale & Walsh , the incredible performance, wasn’t personal. It was business. Though I enjoyed the show, I wasn’t here for the theatrics. I was here for advancement.

“Mr. Kingston–” an unfamiliar voice disrupted my train of thought, “This way.”

I turned to find a theater employee with an extended arm, ushering me out into the main aisle. I didn’t move a muscle. I remained planted, waiting for his case to be stated.

“ The Ballerina will see you now.”

His words confirmed my suspicions. I stepped out into the aisle and followed him toward the back. We passed the lobby and entered a lengthy room that led to a dimly-lit hallway. Beyond the hallway was an area where cast and crew were gathered, discussing the phenomenal show that’d just completed.

“Right here.”

The door to a private room opened with the employee’s help. I entered and found the same person who’d blown us all away sitting at a vanity with bulbs lining the mirror.

“Good evening, Mr. Kingston.

“Good evening.”

“I am The Ballerina, the next point of contact in your journey.”

“I am aware.”

I folded my arms in front of me and spread my feet shoulder-length apart. Just like Roulette’s, her beauty was striking. She possessed a softness that made you weary of her fragility. As if she’d break if you talked too loudly. If she worked too hard. Or at all . If she did any heavy-lifting.

“I’m sure you are. What I’m unsure of is your reason for being here. Something deep within me tells me you are not interested in the formula that the others seek.”

She’d called my bluff and I had hardly opened my mouth.

Impressive .

“Your questionnaire was interesting. The best I’ve ever had the opportunity to read. You’re a forward-thinker.”

Which was why I was here .

“So, no formula? Correct?”

“No. I’m not interested in The Chemist’s formula. Neither am I interested in selling it by the kilo. I am retired. My interests lie elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere?” She chuckled.

“Elsewhere,” I confirmed.

“Friendship.”

Her assumptions were spot on. Almost too spot on for my comfort.

“Psychic?”

“That’s insulting, Mr. Kingston.”

“Sure feels like it.”

“Well, I’m not.” She sighed, finally unraveling the ponytail she’d been tussling with for the last minute and a half.

I watched as her hair fell down from the perfect bun. It landed near the middle of her back. Something told me it wasn’t artificial. It was all hers.

“Discernment. My gift and my curse.”

Rome slid the small duffle from underneath the vanity she’d been in front of. She slammed it onto the wood. I grimaced, chastising myself for not thinking faster.

Women of her caliber didn’t have any business handling heavy items. That included doors, suitcases, groceries, car seats, or anything else weighing over ten pounds.

“It’s only a bag.”

I found her staring at me through the mirror.

“And my responsibility for the duration of my stay.”

With a nod, she unzipped the bag and dug inside. I waited for more to come from her lips. After a minute, I figured I was waiting in vain.

That’s it?

She busied herself with the dress she pulled over her unitard. It disappeared immediately. Shoes were next, replacing the ones she’d performed in. Tape covered her toes. I winced at the redness. She masked her pain with a smile before speaking again.

Three minutes had passed. The Ballerina was in deep thought, feeling things and seeing things and hearing things. The hesitation wasn’t only to remind me that she was in total control but that she was gifted far beyond the stage.

“He doesn’t have friends, Mr. Kingston.”

“Neither do I.”

“Then, what’s your angle?”

“Liaison.”

A chuckle fell from her again.

“Did I say anything funny?”

“Yes. You did. Liaison? Have you not experienced a rather– impressive journey to the most mysterious man you’ll ever have the pleasure of doing business with?”

“I have. Which is fine, but it puts each of you in the direct line of danger.”

“Danger?” She turned around, obviously offended by my observation.

“Yes.”

“Mr. Kingston, has your time in my sister’s bed not taught you anything about our family? We are danger. In the dictionary, right under the word, if you squint your eyes and look really closely, you’ll find us. All of us.”

“I don’t doubt that. In fact, I agree with it. Agree with you , yet here I am in your dressing room. You’re unarmed and I a–”

“The bullets have been removed from your gun. There isn’t a gun in your home that has ammunition. Not even the one underneath your daughter’s mattress. Roulette doesn’t like children, by the way.

“The knife you carry around has a new blade. One that won’t even cut through a cake if you tried. And, I’m not alone, Mr. Kingston. I’m never alone.”

As the words left her mouth, two armed men seemed to have developed from the paint on the walls right before my eyes. I blinked twice, convinced I was seeing shit that wasn’t real. But, after reopening my eyes for the second time, there was no denying it.

“But, I’m very happy it feels that way. That’s a compliment. It lets me know we’re doing our jobs– well . Without a liaison, that is.”

I didn’t bother checking my weapons. Without a doubt, I knew they were partially empty. I’d known it when they were handed back to me at the private security checkpoint on my way inside. However, I didn’t want to believe I’d been stripped so easily. The weight of my pistol was the giveaway. Yet, I was still baffled. They’d entered my home.

“Blanks,” she continued, pulling out a small brush and a gel substance.

Blanks . It made sense.

“I’m not opposed to your idea.”

She dipped the brush in the gel and began touching up her hair.

“But, with all due respect, there’s no place for you in our operation, Mr. Kingston. However, there is a place for you in my brother’s life. He hasn’t had a male friend since he was born. Not one that didn’t share his blood, at least. Something tells me that you are exactly what he needs.

“My intention isn’t to reduce you to a sidekick. I think you’re far more valuable than that. However, what I see for Roulette is far more important than any place you’d ever hold in our operation. An operation that is well-equipped to continue service without your presence, might I add.”

“Roulette?”

“I apologize for not clarifying.”

She placed the brush on the top of the gel and turned to face me.

“Roulette is to wed secretly. Unexpectedly. And happily. It is you who will provide the ring and the smile on her face every morning she wakes up with it on her finger. She’s no easy task, but she’s worth it. You will see much sooner than later. The very thing she despises will be the way to her heart.”

“I need more clarification on the las–” I breathed out with a shake of my head, “You’re taking me too fast.”

I widened my shoulders and angled my head rightward. I wanted to be sure I was hearing her clearly.

“I’m not speaking to you as The Ballerina when I say what I am about to say. This is Rome, the sister of the woman who has your nose wide open and your chest ready to explode at the thought of her. She’s a dream. You’re right to be smitten by her.”

The adoration in her eyes made them sparkle. She cherished Roulette’s presence in her world. It was obvious by the suppressed smile on her face.

“You have your work cut out for you, Mr. Kingston. It’ll all make sense soon. I promise. I have little time to explain. But, life will do enough of that for us all. Roulette has a tough exterior but at her core, she is just a girl . Just like me. Just like our sisters. She wants the love she doesn’t understand the concept or point of.

“She wants to feel all the things. The little things. The grand gestures. All of it. She wants everything, Mr. Kingston, while still being herself. She doesn’t want to change who she is for love.

“She wants it to meet her where she is. She doesn’t want to center a man for love. She wants to remain the main character of her story. Their story. My story.

“Heck, everyone’s story. That’s Roulette, and that’s what makes us love her so much. She’s all woman. Every inch of her. So much so that she went to school just to study what makes us, us .

“Our anatomy. Our hearts. Our hormones. Our capabilities. Our brains. Our bodies. Everything. She’s just that brilliant. I love her so much it hurts sometimes. And, that’s how much she loves, which is why she chooses who she loves carefully.”

A chill ran up my spine. I shook it off, eager to hear more. When Roulette was the topic, I could listen all fucking night long.

“One day, though, Mr. Kingston, she will love you. And it will be so profound that she won’t know how to contain it. How to control it. How to control herself. She’ll be scared. She’ll self-sabotage.”

She cleared her throat and repeated herself.

“She will self-sabotage . It will be an attempt to do damage control. Mistakes will happen and you’ll be there to right her wrongs. To tell her there’s no fun in being strong. Because, like most women, she doesn’t understand that. Or that her strength is just one of her superpowers. It doesn’t have to be her only one. Or even her main–”

Rome shook her head and sucked her teeth. Passion was spilling from her guts. Her love for her sister was unwavering. Those brown eyes were even softer and glistened more from the tears welling in the corners. Her spine had curved slightly.

Upon realizing she’d gone off the deep end, she straightened her back and wiped the tears that had yet to fall. I wanted to reach out. To give her a hug. To tell her that I believed every word she’d said. To tell her that my patience wouldn’t allow Roulette to self-sabotage. To try and fix what wasn’t broken.

To try and free herself from her fate. To try and escape me. But, she wouldn’t. I wouldn’t allow it. She was too precious of a gem. She was too raw. Too real. To fucking cold to let her slip away, no matter how determined she was to do so.

“Ugh. I’d sit here for hours and tell you about that special, often misunderstood girl of mine, but I can’t. Someone very important is waiting to see me to dinner. Goodnight, Mr. Kingston.”

She popped up from her seat. The men that had been hiding in the shadows stepped closer. One grabbed her bag. The other stood beside her, only moving when she moved.

“Goodnight, Ms. Childers,” I whispered, watching as she tiptoed out of the room, humming a familiar tone that I simply couldn’t put my finger on.

Her voice was angelic. It raised bumps across my skin. As it trailed off, her words circulated in my head. She’d dropped a load on me, but it wasn’t too heavy to bear.

Discernment. I shook my head.

“Discernment my ass. The girl is a fucking psychic.”

I exited the dressing room to find the hallways nearly empty. Everyone had poured out of the theater, including the woman of my latest dreams.

And, where the fuck are my bullets? I wondered, making my way out of the door.

I stepped out onto the parking lot, realizing the forecast hadn’t been truthful. The stench of rain was heavy in the air. Evidence of precipitation was on the pavement.

“El!”

Raquim summoned me with a wave of his hand. I headed in his direction where my car was waiting and running.

“You good?”

I opened the door and slid into my whip.

“Yeah. I’m good.”

“Nigga, you’re weird as fuck. Coming to the theater for a ball–”

“Get in your whip and mind your business, Raquim.”

“Say less. Where are we headed?”

“To her.”

He paused with a shake of the head. It was becoming abundantly clear that she was slowly becoming a permanent fixture in my life.

“By any means.”

“Bet.” His smile let me know that he was on exactly what I was on.

“Raquim.” I paused to say.

“Don’t get yourself killed tonight. You just got that fucking whip.”

“Alright, Boss.”

His sarcasm concealed his truest thoughts. He raced to his vehicle as I scooted upward in my seat. The lead-filled bullets that I was in search of had collected in the dip in the cushion underneath me.

These motherfuckers .

Scrrrrrrr.

Scrrrr.

The screeching of my tires followed the screeching of Raquim’s. He was directly under the red light where Roulette’s Mercedes waited for the right away. He never exited his vehicle.

Wise man .

I exited my car, leaving the door open as I rounded it to get to the opposite side. I opened the passenger door and adjusted the seat to accommodate the lengthy passenger I was anticipating. Satisfied with the distance from the dashboard, I made my way to the SUV waiting with the engine running.

I stared through the dimly tinted window, waiting for Roulette to open the door or roll it down. She did neither. I intertwined my fingers in front of me as the light changed. To get through it she had to go through Raquim’s whip. I was no fool and knew she’d do just that if she wanted to, but she didn’t. She remained still.

She will self-sabotage .

Rome’s words surfaced. I pulled in a deep breath and then pushed it out slowly. It was becoming abundantly clear that Roulette had little intention to open her door or roll down the window. I stepped forward, removed my gun from my hip, and slammed it against the window.

The glass shattered, falling onto the ground. Behind it, Roulette sat with her eyes toward her lap as she tapped on her screen. She hadn’t flinched. Moved. Yelled. Or panicked to any degree.

“Princess,” I called out.

“Yes, Israel.”

I lost my train of thought. She was breathtaking. Time got between us. I was busy admiring her beauty.

“Yes, Israel.”

I reached inside and unlocked the door. I opened it, allowing the remainder of the glass to fall onto the ground. No words were spoken as she slid her legs from underneath the steering wheel and stepped out. The Glock that was on her lap was now in her right hand. Her phone was in her left as she stared up at me.

…the woman who has your nose wide open and your chest ready to explode at the thought of her. She’s a dream. You’re right to be smitten by her .

Truer words had never been spoken.

“Good evening, Israel.”

“Have dinner with me,” I demanded instead of indulging in small talk.

“My window didn’t have to be a casualty. You could’ve asked.”

“I’m not asking now, Roulette.”

With a nod, she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. I removed the gun from her right hand and shoved it in the waistline of the back of my pants. When with me, she wouldn’t need it. She wouldn’t need anything. Not even the brain between her ears. I had her covered.

I took her hand into mine and led her toward the passenger seat. She remained silent, likely planning her escape, as I walked alongside of her. I’d just gotten her in my possession and I was already hating the moment she slithered away, because I knew it was coming.

She lowered into the passenger seat. I pulled the seatbelt over her body and leaned inside to buckle it in. I halted before my body was completely upright again.

“Princess.”

“Israel.”

“Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be. If you try to run off, I will chase you down and bring your ass right back where you belong.”

“Where I belong?” She chuckled.

“Right where the fuck you belong.”

“Taming a feral kitten is much harder than adopting one who was born to be a domestic cat,” she warned.

My shoulders lifted and fell. “The tamed ones are hardly any fun.”

I slammed the door and strolled to the other side of the car, ready for motion to limit her chances of fleeing. Roulette was wild and unpredictable, just like that feral kitten she spoke of. However, I was no longer a young nigga. I had time on my hands. And, the days I didn’t, I’d make time.

She was still in the same place I’d left her when I settled in the driver’s seat. I reversed my whip, avoiding the glass while simultaneously heading in the opposite direction. Raquim would handle the rest. His service was no longer required for the night. He was free to do whatever his heart desired once Roulette’s SUV made it safely to Trey’s Body Shop for a new window.

Thirty minutes of pure silence, aside from the playlist that was automatically generated due to my music selections on the application, led us to the dock. I shut off my engine and turned to find Roulette deep in her neverending list of emails. Her work ethic was commendable, but there was no time for emails tonight.

I reached over and slid the device from between her fingers. I opened the glove compartment and tossed it inside. She remained quiet as she stared on in disbelief.

“Do you get a rise out of pissing me off?” She questioned, turning her body in my direction.

“I’m starting to think I do,” I admitted.

“For what fucking reason, exactly?” She scoffed.

“Makes your pussy wetter.”

The pregnant pause was revealing. Her eyes met her top eyelids as she rolled them. I stepped out of the car, giving her a second to cool down. I was sure her pussy was throbbing at the mention of its characteristic.

When I opened the door, Roulette took her precious time exiting. I exercised patience as I watched her in her full element. She was addictive.

She marched to the beat of her own drum with me falling in line behind her. I’d quickly forgotten that I’d been the one to make the arrangements for the night. She led so effortlessly. So masterfully. It wasn’t until she stopped at the entry of the dock that I remembered she needed me to proceed.

I took her by the hand and led her across the small bridge made of wood. We passed six yachts before stopping in front of the larger one. I lowered my body and scooped Princess into my arms. She clung to me as I stepped onto the boat, sparing her the hassle.

Back on her feet, she smoothed down the cream dress that she wore no bra and a thong underneath. I swallowed the excessive amount of saliva that pooled at the thought of pulling that motherfucker to the side so I could feast from her buffet.

“This way,” I told her, extending a hand.

The summer night was perfect for setting sail. So was the woman following me into the dining hall of the yacht. Her presence was fleeting. On water, her chances of escaping without my knowledge were limited.

“A yacht.” She chuckled, taking the seat I’d pulled out for her.

I sat across the small table that was set for two. Red roses tied in twine and encased in a large sheet of kraft paper sat in front of Roulette. Candles flickered in the center of the table.

“Less likely to vanish.” I shrugged.

“I’m a swimmer, Israel.”

“A pool and open water are very different, Princess.”

“A damn good one,” she retorted, “My entire family is. Open water or a pool.”

Fuck.

“What can’t you do?” I steered the conversation in a different direction.

“Belong to one man– intentionally .”

She toyed with the petals of the roses, refusing to look up at me. I rested my back on the chair. She was special. My kind of special. And, while I respected her outlook, and shared it even, there was something about her that made me want to reconsider. Everything .

“Do you like them?”

Her eyes found me, finally. My heart halted instantly. Her lips curled slightly with a nod. Like a defibrillator, she restarted the beat that kept me alive.

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

There it was. Those softened edges that were underneath the rough ones.

Gentle, Israel .

“There will be more.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Is there anything else you look forward to as it concerns me?”

“Kidnapping.”

“You’re no kid, Princess.”

“I didn’t create the word. I’m just using it.”

I sniggered, covering my mouth with the back of my hand as I did so. Something so small and insignificant shouldn’t have exposed all of my teeth, but it had. She had. My burst of happiness had little to do with what she’d said and everything to do with what she’d done.

Willingly, she’d joined me for dinner. I didn’t have to toss her over my shoulder or cuff her to the door for the drive. I would’ve, but it wasn’t necessary. She wanted to be here. She wanted to be with me.

“Thank you.”

“Thank me? What have I done besides grace you with my presence.”

“That’s all I wanted,” I confessed. “That’s more than enough, Princess.”

“Says the man that was missing for three months.”

“I wasn’t missing. I was getting my heart and my head together. And, I didn’t want to compromise my opportunity due to my position in your life.”

“Israel. You have no position in my life.”

She was blunt. Her words cut like a knife, but they were true. I didn’t have an official position, but that would change with time. My time. Not hers. Because, leave it up to Princess and she’d be a bachelorette for the rest of her days. That wasn’t happening. Not on my watch.

“Furthermore, how good your dick is bears no relevancy on how beneficial you are to my family. Business is business. Pleasure is pleasure. I never blend the two. It’s tacky. Tasteless. Classless.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Come again?” She leaned in, unsure of what I was saying or referring to.

“Belong to one man. Why can’t you?”

“I’ve never believed monogamy was natural. A choice, maybe. A preference, definitely.”

“Most think cheating is a choice.”

“It is. In fact, it’s all a choice. And, as long as you’re sure of your choice, you don’t have to worry about upsetting yourself or your partner.”

“Hmm.” I considered her point of view.

“Never blur the lines. Make your intent and expectations clear immediately so no wires are crossed. There’s no miscommunication.”

“Are you trying to tell me something, Princess?”

She kissed the skin of her teeth. “I’ve told you what you need to know, Israel. What you do with that information and how you handle it is completely on you.”

“Now that you’ve made it clear you’re not interested in monogamy, it’s time I made it very clear that I don’t give a fuck.”

“Umm– feisty much?”

“Call it whatever you want.”

“Don’t get yourself hurt if you don’t have to, Israel. I see you with someone quieter. Calmer. A couch potato with good pussy and the head of a genius. Someone who reads novels on a weekly basis and finds joy in visits to the library or bookstore.

“Someone who wants children. Maybe two. No. One. Your first child will be your last child. You don’t seem like the type to have a clan. She won’t be either. She’ll enjoy her solitude too much to compromise the silence she adores. Maybe she’ll have a garden. Maybe she’ll be a maker.”

She lowered her chin and squinted her left eye as if she was thinking of more characteristics to describe a woman I wasn’t interested in.

“Maybe she’ll be you. Maybe she’ll have a club, several. Maybe she’ll be a Madam,” I expressed. “Maybe she’ll find comfort in chaos.”

She licked her bottom lip and grabbed the champagne from the iced bucket beside the table. I quickly relieved her of its weight and leaned closer to pour a glass of the bubbly liquid.

“You like pain, Israel?”

“I like you, Princess.”

She placed the champagne to her lips and sipped. Her pensive gaze made me wonder what was on the top of her dome.

“I’m not the girl next door. I am the girl down the block that everyone warns you will break your heart.”

“No you won’t.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“An observation. Even with the shell around it, your heart is still soft to the touch. You mean well, Roulette. You only fire when you feel threatened or have been violated. You won’t have to feel any of that with me. Good things are the only thing you’ll feel.”

“I’m starving.”

I lifted a hand and beckoned for the server onboard. The chef had spent the better part of the evening preparing dinner. It was time to cash in on the fruit of his labor.

“Good evening, ma’am. Welcome aboard.”

With her head bowed briefly, she acknowledged Roulette.

“Good evening.”

“Yes sir?”

She stopped just short of my extended foot.

“The lady is ready to be served.”

“Sounds good. I will return shortly.”