Page 18

TWELVE

Guilty pleasure .

I rubbed my hand up and down Roulette’s arm. She had yet to rise. A weekend away was the perfect solution to the mindfuck she had placed on me.

She was the most unpredictable being I’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. Yet, she was honest. Her fears stuck out like sore thumbs.

It wasn’t that she was completely against sharing life with one person. She was afraid to give herself completely to a single human. They’d possess an uncomfortable amount of power and she couldn’t relinquish the supply she’d been collecting over her lifetime.

A woman unwilling to transfer her wealth of power to a man was an anomaly and a woman that was often misunderstood. However, I wasn’t part of the mass majority that didn’t know what to do with or how to accept a woman of her caliber, simply because she deviated from the norm. She had every right to want to protect her peace, sanity, heart, and head. How she went about it was her business alone.

But, she had every right to love, too. Every right to be loved. And, I’d made it up in my mind that I’d bend the rules if it meant convincing her to allow herself to do so. She’d mentioned what I deserved a hundred times. But, my God , she was just as deserving.

My vibrating cell pulled me from my thoughts. I leaned over, removing it from the nightstand on the side of the bed. The swaying curtain tickled the back of my hand. It was under the influence of the breezy patio that led to the beach where the water was as clear as the filtered water we consumed daily.

The Clarke area code prompted me to answer. I cleared my throat and placed the phone against my ear. Uneasiness settled in my stomach.

“Yeah.”

“Mr. Kingston?”

“Yes.”

“This is Glenda Mandarin from Agnes Prep. I’m calling about Malaya.”

I slid up against the headboard of the bed. The sound of the ocean ceased. So did the light snores coming from Roulette. All else evaporated at the mention of my daughter’s name.

“I’m listening. Is she harmed? Is she breathing?”

“She is breathing. A bit upset, but she is breathing. She had a dispute with a few of the older girls here and she’s having a hard time settling down. I was wondering if there’s any way you can come have a word with her to mak–”

“Glenda, you said your name was?”

“Yes, sir.”

“If my daughter is unwell, be it emotionally, physically, or mentally, I’m coming to get her. And, you’d better hope none of the parents of the little fuckers she had a dispute with is at the school when I make it.”

I ended the call with a fire forming inside of me. Malaya was far from confrontational. If there was something going on at school, she wasn’t the issue. I’d bet my last dollar on it. She mirrored the insecurities of many of the girls she shared classes with.

That angered them, making Malyala an easy target. Not only because she was passive, but because a fucking baby compared to them. They were eighteen and nineteen year olds waiting to walk across the stage. She was fifteen and would share the same stage in a few months. That didn’t sit well with most students.

“Princess–”

Regretfully, I stirred Roulette awake with gentle taps.

“Princess, wake up.”

“Hmm?”

“Wake up. We need to leave.”

“Leave?”

“Yes, a little earlier than planned.”

We were scheduled to leave at two o’clock, giving me enough time to get Roulette home and for me to get up to Malaya’s school for pickup. Things had changed. The forty-five minute flight would be happening much sooner than later. I was texting Peter to warn him that we were on the way to the private port.

“Is everything okay?”

“It will be.”

Princess stretched her body as she slid off the bed. She didn’t waste any time gathering herself. She disappeared in the bathroom and I wasn’t far behind her. Showers had been taken after a night of passion between us.

She hadn’t packed a bag before the impromptu trip or worn clothes since we’d stepped foot on the small, private island. However, we’d gone to the local shops and picked her up a few pieces to travel in later today.

“Princess.”

She lifted her head to find me standing near the toilet where she was relieving her bladder. I was fully dressed and prepared for our departure.

“Yes?”

“Your clothes are on the bed waiting for you. Your shoes are beside the door. Would you like fruit before we take off?”

She nodded. “That would be nice.”

“Alright. I’ll cut into the last pineapple. There are a few strawberries and kiwis left.”

“Thank you. Don’t forget the grapes in the freezer.”

Why she preferred her grapes frozen, I’d never understand, but I wasn’t knocking it since I’d tried it.

“Alright. Put a move on it, love. We’re pressing for time.”

“Understood.”

She didn’t ask many questions. She was accustomed to highly stressful situations. It was the reason she was still calm and not running around the villa at the thought of leaving hours earlier than planned. She was born into a family of criminals. Staying ready so you didn’t have to get ready was a philosophy she lived by.

I left her alone to spend the next five to ten minutes in the kitchen. She’d gone to bed on an empty stomach. Though the flight was only forty-five minutes, we had to get to Malaya’s school. There was no time to drop her off or stop and get something to eat.

She’d be stuck with me for the better half of her day and I didn’t want her moving around with an empty stomach. Women were different creatures when their stomachs were empty. Keeping them full kept them the closest to calm they’d ever be.

I removed the pineapple from the fridge and began slicing the first layer. I tossed the brown shell in the trash and began slicing the yellow softness. The juice spilled onto the cutting board. The aroma was convincing enough for me to snag a few pieces before finishing the chunks I’d seen Roulette make for the last three days.

“Ready.”

She appeared on the other end of the island just as I removed the strawberries from the fridge. I nodded, appreciating her attire. The leggings hugged her subtle curves. The natural gap between her legs made me want to get in between them again.

Later, El .

“You look refreshed.”

My compliment brought a smile to Roulette’s face.

“Thank you, Daddy.”

Chuckling, I decided not to allow her words to affect me as much as they had the potential to. I had places to be.

“Don’t talk like that, Princess. I have a very important person waiting for me. I don’t just want to get out of here. I have to.”

“I’ll grab the grapes.”

“You do that.”

She slipped behind me and removed the grapes from the freezer. She emptied them into the bowl I was adding strawberry halves to.

“Go ahead. Wash up. I don’t need the kiwis. This is more than enough.”

“Get the kiwis while I wash up. I’ll cut them on the flight.”

“You don’t hav–”

“I’ll cut them on the flight, Princess.”

“Fine.”

She couldn’t help it. The smile on her face appeared against her will. With a shake of the head, I stood in front of the sink scrubbing my hands with soap.

With her roses tucked under her right arm, Roulette accepted my hand with her left. Together, we exited the villa and made our way around the bend where Raquim was waiting. The small duffle in my right hand held the dress and shoes she’d worn upon arrival, along with my tailored suit and the bowl of fruit we’d made together. The kiwis were in a paper bag stuffed in the beach bag on her shoulder.

“Raquim,” Princess greeted my driver, acquaintance, and shooter.

With a chuckle, he shook his head. “Good morning, Roulette.”

She didn’t budge. She remained planted beside the SUV, studying Raquim from head to toe.

“Prince–”

“If I wanted you dead or injured, you would be. Don’t hold an unnecessary grudge. Let it go, because you won’t win,” she warned with a precious smile on her face.

“Grudge?” Raquim asked, “You tried to kill me, woman.”

“I’ve never tried to kill anyone, Raquim.”

“Lucky me.”

“Yes, lucky you.”

“Man.” Raquim groaned, smacking his lips.

“I’d avoid popping my lips like that if I was you. It’s giving peg. Bender. Sister girl. Margarita with a sugared ri–”

“You gone let her bully me like this or you gone say something?” He asked with bulging eyes and a tilted head.

Sniggering, I tossed my hands in their air. Experiencing Roulette’s comical side was satisfying. I couldn’t quite put a finger on the reason behind it, but I was enjoying it. Her tongue was sharp.

“I’m not on his payroll. I’m sucking his dick. He has no jurisdiction over my actions.”

“In the car, Roulette,” I demanded, hardly able to keep a straight face.

On command, she obliged. The second her ass hit the seat, she sighed, realizing she’d lied through her pretty teeth. As much as she hated to admit it, she listened well. Stubborn for the most part, but a great listener when it mattered. No questions. Just actions.

“Yeah, now shut up and scoot over,” I fussed.

With a roll of her eyes, she scooted to the center, allowing me to get inside. I placed the duffle beside her and pulled her closer. She snuggled up against me. I freed her hands of the roses and her bag.

“Being sleepy after sleeping all weekend should be a sin, but here I am.”

“You should get a full eight hours of sleep tonight. You’ll feel better in the morning if you do.”

“I can’t wait to crawl in my bed.” She yawned. “And cut on the white noises. Maybe even invite my rose to bed.”

“You won’t be sleeping in your bed tonight.”

“Are you asking me to spend the night, Israel?”

“No, Princess. I’m telling you.”

“Fair enough,” she whispered.

I wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. Neither was I ready to roll over to an empty bed. The two nights I’d spent with her were beyond my wildest dreams. She was angelic. She was celestial. She was vulnerable. She was wild. She was open. She was curious. And, she was completely in her element. Liberated. Free .

An hour later and we were tucked inside of the Panamera that was fresh off the showroom floor. The paper mats crumbled under our feet. I adjusted the mirror to suit my needs.

Roulette toyed with the navigation, typing in the address I knew all too well now. Not because she’d given it to me, but because I’d searched nonstop until I discovered it. I wanted to know where she laid her head in the event that I wanted my head on her pillow, too.

“I’m not taking you home, Princess.”

“No?”

“No,” I explained. “I have an emergency. I am taking you with me. I don’t have time to stop, and even if I did, I wouldn’t. I think it’s about time you met a girl that means the entire world to me.”

“A girl?”

Her invisible antennas had been activated. She slid her back across the seat, angling her body in my direction.

“Like, a sister?”

“I have a brother, Princess. He doesn’t live in the States. I don’t see him often enough to introduce you. No sister.”

“Like your mother?”

“Like my daughter, Princess.”

Silence captured my attention. I peered back at her, taking my eyes off the road for a brief second. The disappointment on her face stabbed me in the center of my heart.

“Like a daughter?” She scoffed. “A daughter?”

“Malaya Kingston. I have full custody of her. She’s fifteen and a very bright girl. She’s going through some real shit right now that has her feeling like the world is crumbling around her. I have to pick her up from school. A group of kids keep fucking with my baby, although she means no harm at all. Luckily, I don’t fight kids ’cause I swear I want to beat some ass bout her.”

“A daughter?” Her eyebrows scrunched as she tried processing the information I was sharing. “A child?”

“A teenager.”

“Israe–”

“She’s a good kid, Princess.”

“And a kid, nonetheless. When did you plan to tell me she existed?”

“Now.”

She nodded, taking in the bits and pieces as she formed new versions and visions of me in her head.

“Tell me something, Israel.”

“Yeah?”

“At what point do you start considering me? My boundaries? The things I want. The things I don’t. Hm? When will that happen? Because, since I got involved with you, it’s been fuck everything Roulette wa–”

“When these feelings for you subside. Shit, when I can go a full day without you on my dome. When that little voice in my head stops telling me to show you the life and love you deserve. When your sister’s voice stops ringing in my ear telling me to have patience and give you all the things you don’t know you want or need in this lifetime because you’re just a girl at the end of the fucking day.”

“Rome?” She sucked the skin of her teeth. “Of course.”

“She said very few words to me until you became the topic. She sees something for you. I do, too. I won’t ask for forgiveness because I am trying to get you on the same page.”

She exhaled with a shake of her head. The silence returned. She massaged her temple as she digested all that I’d given her. She deserved the moment she was taking. There hadn’t been a drop off request, so I was certain she was rethinking her distaste for men with children.

We arrived at Malaya’s school minutes later. I didn’t bother finding a parking spot. I parked the car in the roundabout that made it clear parking was not allowed.

Suck my dick . I thought as I exited, wishing someone would tell me to move my shit.

I made it around the car to find Princess standing next to it. The scarf that had been wrapped around the strap of her purse was wrapped around her fist. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. When she’d managed to do any of it left me baffled. I looked on with wrinkled eyebrows and a slacked bottom lip.

“I fight kids, Israel,” she stated as a matter of fact, “You don’t have to.”

“Neither do you.” I chuckled.

“If they’re fucking with your baby, then yes, I do.”

“Princess, I can’t have you going to jail in this motherfucker.”

“I won’t.”

“Get back in the car. I don’t trust you.”

“I’m not getting back in the car.”

“Then take that shit off your knuckles. You’re not fighting any of these teenagers today, because then I’ll be forced to get active if they team up on you. I can’t promise anyone will make it out of this motherfucker alive. So, either unwrap your shit or get back in the car.”

“Maybe the parents are inside.”

“Now you’re talking,” I agreed.

“Exactly. And, it’s highly unlikely there will be fathers coming to get their kids in the middle of the day.”

“I’m starting to think you just want to cause hell right now.”

“And, you’d be right. I don’t play that type of shit, Israel. I’m one of seven girls. That’s not how we get down.”

“Come on Rambo.”

I ushered her inside of the school after a quick stop by the camera that she avoided completely.

“Malaya Kingston,” I informed the secretary.

“Oh yes. Sweet Malaya. She’s inside of the counselor’s office.”

“And where are the girls who have decided to give her a hard time?” Roulette asked, demanding answers.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”

“Because I didn’t give it. But, I’d love the names and addresses of the children causing her turmoil so I can slap the bob off each and everyone of the mothers who gave birth to those stale Doritos eating, diaper breath having, BV keeping, cum rags.”

“Excuse me, ma’am.”

“Less talking and more typing, Sue. I’m not in the fucking mood. A young girl who simply wants her education is getting harassed by heathens at this school. I don’t mind having my lawyer in here first thing tomorrow analyzing the precautions you’re taking as an academic entity to ensure the safety and health of your students, not limited to the physicality.

“But, including the psyche. Because the behavior is less likely to occur or become a problem if the consequences and lack of tolerance are emphasized and implemented daily. You don’t want the lawsuit I’m willing to give you, so relieve yourself of the financial stress by giving me the fucking addresses. Understood?”

“I–”

“Underst–”

“Princess.”

She hadn’t blinked once. Neither had she stumbled over a single word. Her thoughts were clear and they were expressed well.

“Dad?”

The cracking of Malaya’s voice broke my heart a hundred times in a single second. Roulette stilled. Her face softened and her chest swelled. When we both turned, we found a tearful Malaya, clearing her reddened eyes. My daughter had been crying since before I got the call and hadn’t stopped.

“Baby girl.”

With open arms, I sealed the distance between us. I pressed her head into my chest, bringing her the comfort she needed.

“Prince–”

“Okay.”

Sympathy covered her beauty. She turned toward the secretary with slits for eyes.

“Addresses.”

A sticky note was slid in her direction.

“Thank you.”

Malaya and I were headed out of the office when Roulette caught up to us. Quietly, she walked behind us, keeping a safe distance, but I knew she was close enough. Her apprehension was justified. She was feeling out the situation. Gathering her bearings. Figuring out Malaya.

We all piled into the car. Roulette settled in the front seat. A sigh deflated her chest. Malaya’s sniffles caused her eyelids to touch every few seconds. When the silence grew unbearable, she dug into her purse and turned to face my daughter. She extended her hand, offering her a napkin.

“Dry your eyes, pretty. And, stop crying.”

“Thank you,” Malaya wept, unraveling completely.

“You’re pretty, too.”

“And I hate seeing you cry. It’s tearing my heart apart.”

“I– I’m tr– trying.” Malaya was a mess.

“Pull over, Israel.”

She didn’t have to ask me twice. I swerved, stopping my car next to the curb. Roulette bolted from the front seat, rounded the car, and pulled the back door open before I had a chance to exit the driver seat.

I adjusted the rearview mirror to see what was happening behind me. She settled in and patted her palm against her chest.

“Right here,” she advised, “You’re safe right here. You can cry your heart out, but this is the last time you will allow anyone to make you cry in this manner. You hear me?”

Malaya nodded. She was beyond words. The weeping had consumed her body.

Roulette reached over and began maneuvering her body toward hers. When Malaya’s head was on her chest, she rested her head on top of hers. Her hand rubbed up and down my daughter’s arm.

And, those pretty eyes of hers released tears of their own. At the realization that she was experiencing Malaya’s emotional hardship, she swiped the tears and cleared her throat.

She’s just a girl . Rome’s words sat on my heart.

“I’m Roulette, by the way.”

“Hi.”

“Hiiii.”

She’d sealed her fate in a matter of minutes. It didn’t matter how difficult she was, in the end, she’d be mine. She had to be. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Gently, Roulette rubbed the lotion into her skin. She sat on the edge of the bed in deep thought. It had been five minutes since she’d returned from Malaya’s room. She’d stayed with her the entire day, not returning by my side until she’d gone down for the night.

“She reminds me of my little sister.” She sighed. “But, a sadder, heartbroken version.”

Those last few words gripped my heartstrings and tugged in four different directions. It was far from a compliment. It was confirmation of what I’d already known.

“Thank you for taking the time to get to know her.”

“She’s brilliant, but she is broken.”

I nodded, agreeing with her observation.

“Her mother is crushing her spirit.”

“She told you?”

“Yes. Of course she told me.”

Yara had our daughter over the weekend. Malaya hadn’t been seeing much of her mother and asked to spend time with her. As much as I wanted to deny her, knowing she’d be with her the following weekend due to my upcoming trip, I agreed.

“Did she do something to upset Malaya?”

My heart pounded against my chest as I tossed my feet over the bed, prepared to make the trip across town.

“No. She didn’t. Malaya said they had a really good weekend, but it was far from a sober one for her mother.”

I relaxed, settling in bed once again. Malaya’s transgressions had me stomped and ready to call it a night much earlier than I’d planned.

“Her drug of choice?”

“Heroine.”

“Ehh. Hard and dark.”

“Hard,” I tittered. “And very fucking dark.”

“What’s her story?”

“Just a damn good girl, a gullible one whose kindness and selflessness was taken advantage of.”

“Influenced.”

“Heavily by the nigga she was fucking.”

“And where is he?”

“Maggot food.”

“Good for him.”

“Fucked over a good girl.”

“Your relationship with her?”

“There isn’t one beyond our daughter, but that is saying a lot.”

“So, friends, not enemies.”

“Partners. Co-parents. She has me in her corner.”

“As she should. How long have you been separated?”

“Since Malaya was a little girl. You don’t have to worry about her.”

“With all due respect, Israel. I’m not worried about a single bitch on this planet, but I’m especially not concerned with a motherfucker that pushes drugs up their veins.”

I didn’t have a rebuttal. She dragged lotion down her right arm and began rubbing it in.

“Besides, you’re free to do whatever and whoever you want. We’re partners, too. We’re not committed.”

“Don’t piss me off, Princess.”

She shrugged. “Not my intention, but it is the truth.”

It was, but after the day we’d had, the last thing I wanted was to hear a reminder.

“A nurse, huh?”

“Yes.”

“A liability it seems.”

“Not at all. She gives the job the only piece of her that’s worthy of human interactions. Her twelve hour shifts are likely the only time she’s sober and free of narcotics. Sometimes when Malaya is at her home. But, if the urge gets intense, she folds.”

Roulette breathed out a deep sigh. “And, you’ve insisted she sober up?”

“So much I’m tired of hearing myself. I’ve never begged for anything in my life, but I’ve been begging Yara to get herself together since I found out her addiction was real.”

“She’s not ready.”

I shook my head. “She’s not ready.”

“Is she aware that her addiction is destroying her precious little girl?”

I nodded. “Yes. Yes she is. That’s why she’s here with me.”

“Then maybe she just needs a reminder. A constant reminder. A–”

“Princess, please.”

“That little girl cried from sun up ’til sundown today. You don’t get to please me, Israel. I’m not telling you that as a partner. I’m telling you that as a woman, one who is fighting for the woman that Malaya will become.

“The child she is now and the shit she’s going through now will directly affect her for the rest of her life, shaping her into a woman she had no business being. I can’t sit back and let her become a shell of her truest self because I’m overstepping a boundary.

“You have ignored every boundary I have since I met you. If you didn’t want me to step behind her then you shouldn’t have introduced me to her. Not the broken parts of her, at least. Malaya deserves so much more than she’s being given.

“Her mother is alive. She’s able-bodied. She is sick, not dead. The only person who can heal her is her. So, it is her I need to have a word with. It won’t be today.

“Hell, it likely won’t be this week or this month, but she will be hearing from me, Israel. Whether you’re still sliding in my guts or not. Because, my concerns aren’t conditional. They’re real.”

I’d learned something about Roulette very early on. There was no convincing her otherwise when she had her mind made up.

“I’m not one of the fake girl’s girl. I am an ally in every lifetime. Womanhood is my life’s work. I have a PhD as evidence. She’s destroying a perfectly well child. I would like to save her as many years of therapy as I can. She’ll need it, but not as intensely. Not as often.”

Instead of fighting with her, I accepted her offer to assist Malaya to higher grounds, even if that meant her bumping into Yara intentionally.

“Besides, her mother is a girl, too. She’s doing life for the first time as well. It didn’t come with a manual. She’s trying to navigate this fucked up world without a map.

“Maybe she needs to hear it from another woman that she needs to get her shit together. This woman at least. Because, by the time I cut her loose, she’ll be in the first in-patient facility that will accept her ass.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I haven’t done the work.”

“You’ve done enough work. I appreciate your commitment to do more of it for me .”

“I’m doing this for the little lost girl in her room with tear-stained cheeks. I’m also doing it for the woman who likely cries each time that needle pushes into her veins. This isn’t for you, Israel. This is for the girls.”

“Still, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Now, come get in bed before you rub your skin off your bones.”

“Only if we’re logging on to your banking app to wire some funds.”

“Yes, Princess. We can log into my app to wire some funds. If it’s anything over fifty, then we have to call the banker in the morning.”

“It’s always over fifty, Israel. Don’t insult me.”

“Come lay your ass down, Roulette. We can call him in the morning.”

“I’ll set my alarm.”

Chuckling, I pulled her down onto my chest where she belonged. She fit so perfectly.

“Thank you, Princess,” I whispered, kissing her forehead as she got comfortable.

Sleep found her within seconds. She was exhausted.