Page 18 of Roommates' Alpha

“That’s not what happened, was it?”

He barked out a laugh. “Exactly the opposite. I was transfixed. Some long-repressed part of me woke up, and I craved everything I was seeing. I wanted the scratch of stubble as I kissed somebody; feel a man’s body pressed against mine. I jerked off so many times just from watching men suck each other, but I came hardest when the camera got a good view of a knot locked into an ass while the alpha stroked his partner to further orgasms…”

He paused. “Then… then I stumbled onto alpha-alpha porn, and… it spurred the same desires. Not only was I a deviant in the eyes of our teachings by lusting after male omegas, but I was equally interested in that most taboo of pairings—the only one that couldn’t result in children. Male alpha with male alpha.

“It’s… not the easiest thing to accept when everything you heard as a child insists that it’s wrong…”

I rubbed his back, not knowing how else to show support.

He took a deep breath. “Raven has been dating an omega man for a while now, and until then I’d been able to control any desires I might have had around him. But the first time he came over after… well… I ended up having to hide my arousal all night. It was like a veil had been lifted, and I could see him for the stunning man that he is. I’d never felt such intense desire for any woman and had no idea how to control it.

“That was when I knew I needed to move out. I’m not about to jeopardize my sister’s relationship because my dick finally decided what it wanted.”

“She’s mad about you moving out?” I guessed.

He shook his head, paused, nodded, paused, and shook his head again. “I… don’t know…”

I moved my hand off his back, then squeezed his knee. “Do you want to tell me what the fight was about?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Raven… she’s everything I’m not. She’s outgoing and has tons of friends. One of her coworkers just got out of a long-term relationship, and she was trying to set us up.”

“Female coworker?” I guessed.

He nodded, then opened his eyes again, though he didn’t look at me. “I tried to be diplomatic. I told her I wasn’t ready to date. But she knows me, and she knew I was hiding something.”

“You told her.”

Another nod. “I told her that I think I’m interested in men, but I haven’t been with any yet.”

“She didn’t take it well?”

He shook his head. “Not at all. She insisted that I’ve always liked women, so why did I suddenly think I liked men?”

I shifted, wrapped my arm around him again, and tucked him against my side.

He sniffled. “She fought so hard for us to get away from those kind of backward ideas, but fell right back on them. She’s getting what she always wanted—a male omega. But I’m not allowed to want the same thing?

“Or another man at all?” he whispered.

I ran my hand up and down his side. “Have you talked to her since?”

He shook his head. “I… don’t know how. I was so angry I accused her of being as closed-minded as them.”

“Oh, Crow…” I hugged him hard.

Another sniffle. “We’ve never gone so long without talking. There’s an ache in my chest from it. But I don’t know how to fix things. Her words hurt me, and I retaliated by going after the most painful parts of our shared trauma.”

“Do you think your relationship is beyond repair?”

“I don’t know…”

“May I make a suggestion?”

“Sure…”

“Be the one to break the silence. The longer it goes on, the harder it’ll be to fix. Call her, ask to talk. Honor it if she says no. At least you’ll know if she’s ready or not.”

Several seconds of silence, then a soft, “I guess you’re right…”