Page 63 of Ringmaster (The Kingdom of Shadow & Bone #1)

Selestina

Idream of chaos. Swords clash, ringing in my ears.

There’s nothing I can do to help Azrael as he battles a creature three times the size of the one Tavien saved me from.

Finally, Azrael’s sword pierces its chest, and the world opens up, swallowing us whole.

We tumble and spin. Azrael’s wings are no match for the magic pulling us to another realm. We land with a thud, and I jump awake.

I’m alone in a massive bed. The black stone walls of the castle surround me.

I blink a few times, allowing my eyes to adjust. Far across the room is a sitting area with a fireplace.

The flames glow green, licking up the sides of the stone.

Marble encases it, spanning all the way to the ceiling.

A large mantel, fashioned from bone, sections it off.

Overhead, bone-carved chandeliers glow dimly.

My eyes sweep the room until they land on Azrael.

He sits on the floor in front of the fire, muscular back on full display as he hunches over a book.

Old journals and books are scattered around him, clearly taken from the bookshelf against the adjacent wall.

Moonlight pours in through the window, casting a spotlight on him. How long did I sleep? It should be morning, yet the moonlight suggests otherwise.

I rub my eyes, taking in the rest of the room. The space is massive—small eating area, several wardrobes, another room just off this one that I assume leads to a washroom. My hands run over the soft silk sheets as I lift myself onto my elbows.

Azrael’s head snaps in my direction. “Good morning, my love.”

“Good morning,” I answer, feeling the heat of his stare as wetness pools between my thighs. I squeeze them together, wondering if looking at him will always have this effect on me.

He smiles. “Don’t worry. We don’t have time.

We need to return to the portal. I have to find my brother and send him back to his prison in Hell before he wreaks havoc on the rest of the realms—or worse, the mortal world.

He’s waiting for our return. An urgent message from Zora arrived earlier today. ”

Relief washes over me. I’m sore from yesterday, and though my body craves him, I know I can’t handle more.

“Earlier?” I ask. “How long did I sleep? Is it always moonlight here, or did I sleep through the entire day?”

He winces. An unspoken confession that tells me everything I need to know. “You were exhausted, my love. It’s okay you slept the entire day. You needed the rest, and I’m glad. How are you feeling?”

He’s right. I hate that he’s right. I wouldn’t have slept this long if I didn’t need to. But it doesn’t make it any easier. I circle back to the message from Zora.

“What did Zora say? Why is it urgent? He looks away, guilt staining his face for a matter of seconds before he smooths into calm. “She said they’re all in some kind of trouble.”

I leap from my bed. “Why didn’t you wake me? My mother is there!”

He stands, crossing to wrap me in his calm. It smothers my worry and slows my racing heart. “Stop. I want to go back immediately. We need to get to her.”

I push away from him. “Is my mother okay? Why aren’t you in more of a hurry?

Azrael cups my face. “Angel, stop. Don’t you understand? This is a trap. He’s luring us back. We can’t rush in unprepared. Sylis and Zora would never let anything happen to your mother—you know she’s safe,” he strokes my hair. “As long as we think this through she’ll remain safe.”

I nod, my bottom lip trembling. Azrael pulls me close, and I lose myself in his embrace.

“Beelzebub is gathering a small group of warriors and a special shield, warded for protection. We’ll leave as soon as everything is in order.

” His tone is reassuring as he runs his hand up and down my spine.

“I’ve reached out to Zora for additional intel.

The more we know before we arrive, the better. ”

I nod again, allowing him to comfort me. After a few minutes, he snaps his fingers, and breakfast appears on the small table.

“Let’s eat, my love. You’ll need your strength. I don’t want you fighting, but there’s always a chance you might need to.”

I allow Azrael to lead me over to the small table, laden with an impressive spread of pastries, meats, fruit, and nuts. My stomach rumbles as he fills our plates. He sits across from me, picking up a pastry and stuffing it into his mouth.

“Do you need to eat?” I blurt. Rude, but too late to retract.

He chuckles, setting the pastry down, amusement in his eyes. “I don’t need food to survive. Neither will you eventually. But I enjoy the taste so I indulge now and then.”

“What do you mean I won’t need it eventually either?” I ask, picking up on the small hints and clues he’s constantly dropping.

His eyes darken with sadness.You’re endless this time. And the endless don’t need to survive. The energy of the universe keeps us going. So long as the universe exists, we do as well.“ He takes another bite.

“But then how—“ I pause, thinking carefully about how to word my question. “How did we both end up dead last time?”

His face falls. “My brother used dark, powerful artifacts against us. Forged for destruction. But I’ll never allow that to happen again.Those weapons have since been recovered and returned to the vaults in another kingdom.

They’re guarded by creatures so vile and wicked no one will ever dare to retrieve them. ”

“Good.” I savor the sweet treat.

We continue eating, and Azrael shares fragments of our past. He’s spent his time reading through his old journals, gleaning as much knowledge as possible before we return to face his brother, Wrath.

We’re just finishing up when there’s a knock at the door.

Azrael excuses himself and steps outside the bedroom.

I strain my ears, but either the walls are thick or enchanted—I can’t hear a single word of the exchange. With a sigh, I climb back into the large bed, pulling my legs close for comfort. I wait for what feels like an eternity for Azrael to return.

When he does, his face says it all. Bad news. I wait, anticipation gnawing at me, as Azrael sits gingerly on the bed and pulls me into his embrace. His shadows coil around us like a blanket. I draw a shaky breath.

“That was Beelzebub. Everything is ready. We leave in a few hours. He’s received word from Zora, but I’m afraid it’s not good news.”

My heartbeat thunders in my chest. All I can think about is my mother—alone, terrified. She doesn’t stand a chance.

“What is it? Please, tell me.” I beg, my voice barely carries.

“It’s—I’m so sorry. According to the last report we received, he’s gathered everyone under the big top and is holding them there captive until we return,” Azrael’s words land heavy.

“Then what are we waiting for? We should go right away?”

“No. Not yet. That’s what he expects. We’d be walking right into a trap. We need an advantage, and right now the only advantage we have is choosing when to arrive—on our terms.”

I bite my lip. “I don’t want to wait. I hate everything about this plan.”

“Patience, my little warrior. There’s plenty to do before we depart.” His tone carries a mysterious edge.

“What are we doing first?”

“If I had my way… you. But there’s no time for that.”

My cheeks heat. Just then, another knock.

I glance at Azrael, surprised by how unsurprised he looks, as though this visitor is expected.

He opens the door. An enormous man steps inside—easily eight feet tall—carrying a small package.

Azrael nods, accepts the box, and the man bows before leaving without a word.

Azrael closes the door, mischief dancing in his eyes. “It’s time to get you dressed. Then I must leave for a little while. I won’t be long—just a few things I need to retrieve.”

“Like what?” I rise from the bed and cross the room to be closer to him.

He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. “The Shield of Anubis.”

My jaw drops. Azrael hooks a finger under my chin, gently closing my mouth. “He’s a dear old friend, darling, and he’s already graciously delivered it here.”

He sets the box on the table near the fireplace.

From the corner of my eye, I spot the daggers and corset I’d worn before we fell, lying beside the box.

I hope I don’t have to use them again, though they were effective.

What if the box contains more weapons? Dread creeps over me at the thought.

Azrael’s attention is razor sharp, focused on me, the moment he senses the shift.

“What is it that’s bothering you?” he asks, concern etched across every line of his face.

“It’s nothing,” I lie quickly, forcing my emotions to realign, brushing away the memory of Malicor’s eyes boring into mine as I watched his soul slowly depart.

Azrael snaps. Gone is the cool facade. The concern on his face vanishes. Every single one of his emotions—worry, regret, lust, guil—they all fade, replaced by white-hot rage.

“Do not lie to me, mate,” he glowers, a sharp edge to his tone.

“Did you forget we are connected now? At the core of everything we are, every part of me is as much a part of you as you are of I. You are mine for an eternity, queen of shadows and death,” he drawls slowly.

“Our souls are bound as one, never to part.”

I wince, sinking back into myself. Visions of Jacob and his arguments with my mother flash through my memories, and I shrink away as tears threaten to spill over.

But I won’t let him make me cry. I swallow my fear, look him in the eyes, and reply, “I don’t want to use the daggers again.

I thought I might lose you. Lose myself. ”

His anger dissipates, turning to guilt, raging like a storm from within him.

I hesitate, feeling the moment his heart cracks.

But still he pulls me to him in an embrace I don’t deserve.

I promised to be worthy of Azrael. I swore to be strong, and sulking over saving myself isn’t keeping up my end of the bargain.

Azrael kisses the top of my head. “Look at me, angel.”

I gaze up into his blue eyes, glimmering bright like the tides of the ocean beneath the sun. He stares deeply at me until I feel the zing of magic as it floats into place between us. His thumb rubs over my cheek, stroking it softly.

I place my hand on top of his.

“I promise you, Selestina, I will never allow anyone or anything to take you from me again. You will not lose me. My love for you is far too great. I will bring destruction to the universe, threatening all that the Endless are, should it happen again. Do you understand me? I will end creation if I can’t have you. ”

And then he seals his vow with a kiss. Tiny details prickle across my skin, weaving themselves into the design of my tattoo.

Azrael pulls away slowly. “Shall I open the box and show you what’s inside now?”

I nod.

“Come over and sit down then, please,” he says.

I take a seat and watch as he begins to open the package.

He reaches in and pulls out the first item: a pair of thin leather pants.

He hands them to me, explaining, “These are enchanted to prevent injury. There’s nothing in existence that can cut through these leather pants.

I could never forgive myself if anything ever happened to you. ”

I sigh, taking them from him. When I slide them on, I’m surprised by how soft they feel. “They fit perfectly, “ I announce, bringing a smile to Azrael’s lips.

“Good,” he replies. “Now this.”

Azrael hands me a bunch of wispy material. It’s soft, humming full of magic that vibrates through my fingertips. I turn it over in my hands, unsure what to do with it.

“Here,” he says, taking it back. “Let me help you.”

He waves his hand, and my top disappears. He slides the material over my head, then holds each arm for me. Once the oversized shirt is in place, it thrums and suctions tightly against my skin.

“It’s a protective barrier,” he explains, holding up my corset. “Spelled to be impenetrable and made from my shadows, so a part of me is always with you, keeping you safe from harm.”

Butterflies fill my stomach. I can’t believe he used his own shadows. Azrael pulls the corset tight, weaving it into place. Finally, he slides the daggers into my corset, sheathing them. He steps back to admire me, a satisfied smile forming on his lips.

“Perfect.” He kisses my cheek softly.

“I must admit, I’ve never felt so safe or cared for,” I say with a smile.

“Selestina, I need you to listen carefully and trust me, “ Azrael says, suddenly serious once more.

“What is it?”

“Promise me that no matter what happens, you won’t make any deals with my brother. He’ll try to use you as a pawn. He’ll try to get you to sacrifice yourself, but our destiny is far too great to be separated again. Do not leave my side. This is important. Do you understand?”

Azrael’s voice is thick with worry. I’m suddenly reminded of all the people who’ve told me to stay close to him. A shiver rolls over my body at the weight of my realization. I understand, and I will not stray from him.

“I promise.”

“One last thing,” Azrael waves his hands around me, building up a swirling vortex of shadow.

“It’s another spell of protection. I can’t be too safe with you.” His confession pulls at my heart.

“How did you learn all of this?”

He smirks. I had an entire day to do nothing but read my old notes to myself. I guess a morbidly depressing piece of me was preparing for the worst even then, to give my future self the best shot should anything ever happen.

I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tight. I never want to let go. “I love you, Azrael.”

Some part of me feels like we’ve been here before. It’s as if everything he’s holding back from me is suddenly crystal clear, but I don’t understand—

Suddenly, I understand perfectly. It’s like he said: don’t lie to me.

Anger threatens to bubble past the shields I erected earlier.

I call it back to me. He’s not lying—he’s omitting information, and the bond is showing me everything he won’t say.

I sigh, deciding not to look any further.

If Azrael believes I’m not ready to process these things yet, then I trust him.

“I love you too,” he replies, relief washing over us both, momentarily.

“Will you be safe and protected if I have all this?” I ask.

“Always. I’m always protected,” he answers.

We stand, embracing one another for a few minutes until he pulls away.

“I have to go,” he says, checking the time. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Don’t go. Not yet,” I beg.

He cradles my face, nuzzling against mine. “I must retrieve the shield from the vault where it’s been stored since it arrived here.”

“Hurry back.”

Azrael kisses me one last time and then disappears.