Page 48 of Ringmaster (The Kingdom of Shadow & Bone #1)

Azrael

Though it physically pains me to be away from Mercy, I slipped out of bed not long after bonding with her to retrieve our wet clothes from the library. The truth is, I was restless. I needed something else to focus on.

When I apparate into the library, I snatch the clothes from the floor, then vanish back to the landing at the top of the stairs and toss them carelessly back in my room.

I watched her sleep for hours, memorizing every detail before I forced myself to leave her. All I want now is to get back to Mercy so I can savor waking up together. I don’t trust myself enough to actually fall asleep beside her. If anything were to happen, I couldn’t live with myself.

I’ll rest later, when she’s with her mother and I’m alone.

The truth is, I haven’t allowed myself much rest since she arrived.

I’ve been too focused on her safety. I’m even considering bringing Marblas inside to guard her.

At least then I’d know she’s protected—he’d never let anything happen to her.

Still, guilt laps at the edges of the mindset I’m struggling to maintain. I do my best to numb myself to it.

But I’m not the only one awake. The Ringmaster’s disapproving glare finds mine, and I instantly regret not throwing the clothes in the fireplace and allowing them to burn.

I should’ve been more careful. I know better than to let him corner me like this.

Especially when the scent of our arousal still lingers on my body.

Shadows curl defensively around me, warning the Ringmaster of my mood. I don’t stop them. I’m no longer afraid of him. I felt the shift in power when the bond with Mercy locked into place, and I know he felt it too.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he sings, tone laced with quiet menace.

“It’s not your business,” I snap.

“What have I always told you, Azrael?” he snarls, staring down his crooked nose at my cold, dark eyes, and the endless pools of rage swimming behind them.

“I broke the curse. I’ve never felt this much power before. “

His body tenses as if readying a rebuttal, but instead of striking, he folds his arms. I return his glare, already imagining the torment I’ll inflict now that the upper hand is mine.

“I’ve tried to warn you, Azrael. You’re not built for love. This will end badly,” he warns.

I roll my eyes. “Says who? Without love, the bond wouldn’t exist.”

I raise my hand. His face drains of color, and he takes a step back.

In a battle of strength and power, the outcome could go either way.

We’re evenly matched—for now. He has more experience, and is more cunning.

I have the power. “I’m only trying to warn you,” he replies, sensing my defensiveness.

“You’re too weak to fight it. You’ll never be strong enough to end this.

You still haven’t figured it out.” Then he turns and storms off, disappearing down the hallway toward his wing.

“Stay out of it,” I roar, shaking the walls with my voice. Dust rains from the ceiling.

My hand waves over Mercy’s wing, casting a protective ward. “He may not enter here,” I instruct the magic, watching it weave a gate from shadows.

I don’t want to return to her like this.

Swallowing back my anger, I slip back into the room.

My encounter with the Ringmaster has me pacing the floor, clinging to my like smoke.

Summoning a glass of whiskey, I settle into the chair by the fire—trapped and alone with my thoughts, with no way to escape them.

Mercy sleeps peacefully. Is there something I’m missing? The Ringmaster said I haven’t figured something out. But what could it be? I take a sip of the whiskey, allowing the burning warmth to spread over my body and settle my nerves.

Anger towards the Ringmaster builds deep within me as I take another sip. I hate him with every part of myself. He’s always doubted my abilities, shrouding me in constant negativity. It has a way of fueling my own self-doubt.

Can I really fulfill my destiny and fall in love?

It’s the question that haunts my nightmares and consumes my waking thoughts. This is what the Ringmaster does—he controls everything, manipulates thoughts and actions, pulls the strings like the puppets everyone else is to him.

I sigh, toss back my drink back, and slam my glass on the table with a thud.

Slumped in the chair, I cradle my head in my hands and let my thoughts drift.

Further and further into the dark I descend, until it surrounds me entirely.

It threatens to turn into something much worse.

I laugh, and it echoes in the emptiness.

Am I dreaming? Have I slipped into a nightmare?

But this isn’t one I know. My nightmares are predictable—beat by beat.

This doesn’t scare me. I am the nightmare.

I’m what lurks in the night, the shadow in the corner, the hunter waiting for his prey.

A glimmer flashes in the distance, light bouncing off something I can’t see.

I walk toward it through the endless dark.

Another flash, and I’m falling. I shift to shadow, spiraling downward.

I know where I am. Somewhere deep in my mind, I’ve slipped through a portal to the underworld.

The Kingdom of Shadow and Bone. A summons from my father is the only explanation.

One day I“ll be forced to rule here, no longer able to walk the surface. I wonder if Mercy will choose to come with me. Will she sacrifice what’s left of her humanity to stay by my side? And if she does… will I even be capable of loving her, the deeper I descend?

Air rushes around me as I continue to spiral.

When the bottom appears, I shift, landing on my feet.

The fall is nothing more than a scare tactic to keep dreamers from wandering in.

Random knowledge surfaces—details long buried.

Perhaps it’s the bond. I feel nearly whole here, tucked away in the darkest corners of my consciousness, where my father’s kingdom and the dreamscape intertwine.

I look around, trying to figure out exactly where I am.

It’s the throne room, but I’m all alone.

No one else is here—unlike the last time I was summoned.

The throne that looms before me will be mine one day.

Crafted from centuries of bone, held together by shadows.

The Kingdom belongs to me as much today as it will in the future.

I don’t even hesitate as I stroll forward, magnetically drawn to it.

My sights are set on the glowing white throne, the only break in the darkness.

The throne beckons to me. “Sit,” it whispers.

I take one final step forward, then lower myself onto it.

Power washes over me, wrapping me in magical tendrils of energy.

It engulfs me, feeding off my own strength, and it feels good.

I relish in the sensation. Once again, my thoughts wander back to Mercy, as if the tendrils are guiding them toward the answer I’ve been seeking.

I don’t want to hurt her. But is it too late?

Has the damage already been done by bonding her without her fully understanding the stakes?

I murdered her father. Surely, I should feel some remorse over it.

Yet I have no humanity left, and haven’t for a long time.

I feel nothing unless I’m with her. And then it dawns on me.

Maybe she’s the last sliver of light I’ve got left.

The only reason it hasn’t gone out. Maybe Mercy is my humanity—maybe that’s why I’m still capable of loving her with every part of my soul, even while the darkness continues to chain me.

I’ve always said she’s the light to my darkness.

The realization brings clarity. As long as Mercy continues to accept me, to love the monster I am, I’ll never have to choose between my destiny and my soulmate. I can have both. Because true love—the kind between soulmates—conquers all.

Clapping erupts from a shadowy figure standing a few feet away. “I see you’ve found the throne of wisdom in your dreams, Azrael. Has it helped you solve the problem you’ve been seeking answers for?” my father asks.

“My apologies, Father. I didn’t mean to intrude. I think I’ve fallen asleep in the waking world, and I thought I was summoned here,” I say, unsure of his intentions.

“You were. But when you arrived, I heard the throne speaking to you, and so I thought it best not to intervene,” he explains. “You see, I have important information about the key.”

“The key?” I tilt my head in confusion.

“Yes. The one I slipped in your pocket the last time you were here.” He sounds worried.

“Oh, you mean this.” I pull the strange box from around my neck, where it hangs on the chain I’ve kept it on ever since.

The key vibrates and glows in my hand. A sense of belonging flows through me, as if it’s whispering that I’m home.

“Yes,” he says with a smile. “That is a key to the kingdom. The master key. Don’t lose it.

You must never let this key leave your possession.

Should it fall into the wrong hands, the kingdom could be lost. You must protect it.

You must protect the kingdom. It holds the secrets and the power needed to fulfill your destiny. ”

“Can you tell me what that is?” I ask, knowing full well he can’t.

“All I can say is nothing is as it seems. You must uncover the truth for yourself. All I can do is guide you… and return what once was yours.” His reply makes no sense.

“The Ringmaster said I haven’t figured it out. What does that mean?”

“If you ever find the gates locked, use the key to grant yourself access. We’re out of time. You must return now.”

“Please, just give me the answers.” I shout, frustrated, as the dreamscape begins to crumble away.

“I can’t tell you. Look closely at things. Reflect. In time, the memories will be restored. Remember this: love is always the answer. True love can break any spell.” There’s a sudden crack of energy as darkness fades and the portal closes, disappearing completely.

Sunshine breaks through the curtains, shining across my face and waking me.

I blink, finding myself back in Mercy’s room.

The light means I must have fallen asleep from exhaustion.

I needed to rest. I feel restored—even if the conversation with my father left me with more questions than answers…

yet again. I grasp the key to the kingdom, tucking it back beneath my shirt.

Mercy will wake soon. Today’s a big day for her.

She has magic lessons with Zora. It’s important she learns how to control her powers.

She can’t just waltz around freezing and unfreezing time.

I watch her stir, then smile when she catches me staring.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks.

I continue to admire her from across the room, hesitating only a moment before I sprint forward with shadow speed and tackle her back into the bed.

I cover her with kisses, my lips burning a trail of desire over her body as I growl, “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up so I can ravish you before breakfast.”

She giggles, laying back against the pillow, “I could get used to waking up like this. Ravage me, Azrael. I belong to you now.”

Fuck.

I pull her beneath me, groaning as I gently slide myself inside her—taking my time, careful not to be too rough after last night.

Mercy gasps, digging her nails into my shoulders.

I set our rhythm slow and deep. She’s already coming undone and pulling me along with her.

She tightens around me, gasping my name.

I hold nothing back as I come with her, moaning into her neck—until we’re panting and spent.