Page 24 of Ringmaster (The Kingdom of Shadow & Bone #1)

Mercy

“What is the meaning of this?” The Ringmaster snaps, glaring at Azrael. “I thought I made myself clear.”

My eyes dart from the towering, ominous figure that is the Ringmaster back to Azrael. Is this why he told me not to come here? Did the Ringmaster forbid him from seeing me the same way my father did?

“You made yourself clear,” Azrael replies evenly, “but you’re wrong. She’s the one, and I’ve confirmed it with the Fates.”

The Fates? This is all incredibly overwhelming.

Does he mean the Fates—the ones who decide things like life and death?

A cold sweat breaks out across my skin in response.

Between Azrael’s confession of being a monster and my freak accident freezing the town, my knees tremble.

The room spins, and nausea fills the empty pit in my stomach.

I reach for Azrael’s arm to steady myself.

“Well then, why have you waited until now to tell me?” the Ringmaster snaps.

He’s playing along. I hang on every word.

“Because I just found out,” Azrael says smoothly, staring him down.

“I assume this means she’ll be joining us? Shall I prepare the contract?”

Joining them? I gulp. I’d considered it before, but now—standing in the Ringmaster’s terrifying presence—I’m not sure I want any part of this circus. Holding my breath, I wait for Azrael’s response.

He tilts his head dangerously at the Ringmaster. “Are you implying she enters into a contract with you?”

“It’s the only way. And then, of course, there’s the matter of her father. Judging from the last interaction with him, I assume he’ll demand an exorbitant amount. She’ll have debts, Azrael. Debts must be paid.”

Azrael’s muscles go rigid. I can feel the anger radiating off him. “She’s not signing anything with you. I won’t allow it.”

My entire body hums with anticipation as electricity ripples off them both and through the air like lightning.

“You know the rules, Azrael. All who stay must join, and all who join must serve,” the Ringmaster's eyes gleam with amusement.

“And you seem to forget, Grandfather,” Azrael counters, voice dangerous, “that I’m old enough to write my own contracts now. If she’s signing anything, it’ll be with me.”

“Temper, temper, Azrael. Is this any way to behave in front of our new member?” He clicks his tongue condescendingly.

A contract. I don’t want a contract. I don’t want to belong to the circus.

This is happening too fast. What about my mother?

The town I froze? How can they just stand there discussing me like I’m property?

Small cracks split through my heart. I thought Azrael was different.

I expected him to help free me—not chain me.

Sensing my unease, Azrael lays his hand on top of mine, patting it in reassurance.

“I know it sounds less than ideal, but I promise I’ll take care of you, Mercy.

I’ll be responsible for you, and I won’t let anything happen.

The Ringmaster’s right—we have to keep you safe and protect the secrets of the big top. ”

I can’t find words. Tears sting my eyes as I gape at him, like he stabbed me in the back. It hits hard, and my heart slowly crumbles.

“Shall I have Malicor fetch the supplies and get this over with?” the Ringmaster gloats.

Azrael dips his chin in the slightest of nods.

“Good. Come to my office shortly, and we’ll get the contract all drawn up. I take it you need a few minutes to discuss. Don’t keep me waiting—it won’t take long for Malicor to assemble the bone quill.” He waves his hand over us, then turns on his heels and leaves.

The girl scurries out after him, clearly avoiding Azrael’s wrath for her failure to keep watch. The silence stretches between us, uncomfortable and heavy. My thoughts reel; my entire world has flipped upside down. I don’t know what to say.

Azrael reaches for me, clearing his throat, but I pull my hands back. “I know you have questions, but I need you to trust me,” he pauses, never breaking eye contact. “Please. I promise I’ll explain what I can. You don’t understand. Once he’s made up his mind, there’s no changing it.”

I bite my lip and shake my head. “You’ll never understand. You’ll never be able to make this right. I’m losing everything—my family, my identity, my life. What about my happiness?” I choke back a sob.

“Mercy.” He tries to soothe me, taking a step toward me, but I retreat.

I don’t want his comfort or pity. All I’ve ever wanted is to be freedom—the chance to make my own choices.

And now, the one person I trusted has handed me a life sentence.

It doesn’t matter that I’d considered joining the circus.

Or that I might have begged Azrael to let me do it.

What matters is it would have been my choice.

“No. I thought you were different. But you’re just like everyone else. I’m not something to own, Azrael. Yet that’s how you discussed me with him.”

This time, when he reaches to embrace me, he moves so fast I blink and find myself pinned against the barn wall, his body caging me in place. Azrael strokes my cheek gently. Pain glimmers in his eyes, something I hadn’t seen before.

“Mercy, I don’t want to own you. But you’re mine. What I said about the Fates is true. You’re my soulmate. To protect your soul, it has to belong to me—not him. I would never force you to do anything against your will. The choice has to be your own. I… ” He stops himself.

“My soul?” I squeak, panic drowning my thoughts.

“Yes. I told you I’m a monster,” he sighs, the weight of his words heavy.

“You’ll bind your soul to me in a contract sealed by blood magic and fate.

Together, we’ll be free. One day, I’ll break the curse, but I need your help.

If your soul stays unclaimed, he’ll chain it to this circus forever.

If it’s mine, no one else can touch you. ”

His voice like velvet caressing my ears. Magical rules. Curses. I don’t want to sell my soul. “What if I say no?”

Azrael hangs his head in defeat. “Then I’ll help you escape. You have to be willing. But the Ringmaster is a collector. He’ll hunt you down and take what he wants. He’ll own you one way or the other, even if you evade him tonight.”

A giant lump forms in my throat as I swallow. I’m trying so hard to process everything he’s telling me. I take a deep breath. “Do I even have a soul? If I’m half–”

“Seraphim.” Azrael interrupts gently. “I don’t know. The worst that can happen is the contract doesn’t bind you. The blood ritual fails.”

Blood ritual. My heartbeat quickens. He never mentioned blood.

But I want to be strong—for me. Not because it’s what Azrael wants, but because I owe it to myself to face my so-called destiny.

I hold my head high, letting the weight of my decision settle.

“Alright, Azrael. Bind me to you. But on one condition.”

Azrael beams. “You’re making the right choice. What’s your condition?” he asks curiously.

“I want to bring my mother with me. I can’t leave her behind.” My voice is calm and clear. It doesn’t waver.

“Of course. I’ll do everything I can to make you happy and comfortable here.” His words are a promise.

“Azrael,” I add, tilting my chin just slightly, “one more thing.”

“Go on,” he replies.

“What were you going to say before, when you said I?”

He swallows hard, then kisses me softly. “I care for you, Mercy, because you’re mine. You’re perfect just the way you are—because you were made for me.”

I try to hide my disappointment, choosing instead to focus on the task ahead. “I’m scared, Azrael. Will it hurt?”

He winces, eyes flicking away, his gaze dropping to the ground. But only for a moment. Then he looks back at me, still hovering over the spot where he has me pinned against the wall. “I don’t know,” he breathes, and I can sense the honesty in his answer.

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve never cared enough to notice if it hurts.” His confession lands hard, echoing what he said before about being a monster.

My chest aches. “Will you be there with me when it happens?”

He cups my face gently. “I will always be with you—this time and forever, once I’ve bound you to me.”

I press my lips together. His eyes are bright and burning, filled with regret, a longing I never noticed until now.

There’s something tender in the way he surveys my reaction to his confession.

I bite my lip. These few words mean more to me than all the words we’ve spoken over the years.

I forgot how easy our conversations used to be.

The years of silence and yearning, all the isolation I’ve felt—it’s all melting away with that one word: always.

Maybe Azrael stopped speaking to me, but he never stopped being my friend.

And even if the words I hoped for still remain unspoken, he said he cares for me.

After everything—every flower, every forbidden brush of his hand against mine—how could I doubt him?

He leans in closer, his control unraveling as his eyes darken from blue to black.

My heart thuds as his hand drops to my neck.

I tilt my chin to meet his lips as a lone teardrop rolls slowly down my cheek.

All those shattered pieces of my heart begin to mend, pulling themselves back together until it beats whole again—wildly in my chest. It thrums, filled with hope and warmth, only beating for him… and the promise of freedom.

When his lips graze mine, it’s only for a second.

Then his head snaps away, and shadows converge, swallowing the entire barn in darkness before he finds my parted lips again and devours them.

I’m lost—so far gone in his kiss—mentally mapping every place our bodies touch.

I arch into him, snaking my legs around his waist as he lifts me from the ground, deepening the kiss.

I want more than his lips against mine, and I can tell he does too.

But our impending deadline looms, and like all good things, the kiss must end.

When he finally pulls away, his eyes are as black as soot—two onyx coals sparkling with desire.

I shiver, not out of fear, but because he’s awakened a desire in me that carries grave consequences.

Going through with this is irreversible—and forever is a very long time.

Once we’ve both caught our breath and straightened our clothing, Azrael offers me his hand.

Together, we leave the sanctuary of the barn, traveling down the worn dirt path to the Ringmaster’s office, where unknown terrors wait.

But with my monster by my side, I’ll be just fine, because his promise to me is true and unbreakable—a deeper magic within myself that I’ve only just begun to understand.

As we walk, I wonder how I grew up in a world filled with such unbelievable magic, yet never saw it.

How could I have missed it? The answer gnaws at me, loud and clear: I didn’t see it because it was kept from me.

And there are still secrets my mother is hiding.

My eyes narrow as my suspicion grows. Tavien’s dagger must be magical too.

No ordinary blade could’ve killed that thing.

Tavien knows more than he lets on. Is Miriam in on it too?

I’m shaken from my thoughts when Azrael clears his throat. I look up and realize we’ve stopped in front of a door. We must be at the Ringmaster’s office.

“Are you ready, Mercy?” he asks, worry creasing his brows.

“Yes,” I say, holding my head high. “You promised to keep me safe.”

Azrael smiles. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Remember you’re strong, and nothing can hurt you unless you allow it.”

Tears fill my eyes as I draw a shaky breath and spring open the door.