Page 19 of Ringmaster (The Kingdom of Shadow & Bone #1)
So the woman’s name is Zora, and all three of them believe she’s going to just wipe his memory. My legs shake uneasily. Things are getting strange, and I suddenly have more questions than what I originally came here for.
Sylis strolls past us obediently, through the doorway, darkness following them. Before I can get a look inside, the door slams shut.
At last, we’re alone, just Azrael and me on the porch of the boxcar. The excitement fades, replaced by a tight knot of something heavier—dread.
Azrael breaks the silence. “Come sit and tell me why you came here, Mercy.”
Without waiting for a reply, he leads me to a hammock woven with thick braided rope, suspended from hooks on the top of the porch—giving the boxcar a sense of permanence.
It looks well-used, like Zora has lived here longer than most. There are pillows littered on the hammock and a folded patchwork quilt.
He helps me into it gently, then falls in next to me.
Our combined weight curves the hammock into a soft, inescapable cocoon, pulling our bodies together.
There’s not a single place I don’t brush up against his hardened muscles.
Azrael props himself onto his elbow, and I do the same. His free hand strokes my cheek softly, as if he’s afraid his touch will break me. I shiver, and he reaches for the quilt, pulling it over my bare legs.
“Are you warm enough?” he asks casually.
I nod my head, too tongue-tied from the desire creeping its way between my thighs.
“Mercy,” he whispers, eyes fixed on the patterns in the quilt instead of me, “you shouldn’t be here. This isn’t safe.”
My heart sinks. I didn’t come here to be reminded that we can’t be together or to listen to him tell me how much he confusingly wants me, but can’t have me.
Silence stretches between us until I work up the courage to respond. “I know.”
I try not to let the bitterness sour the notes of my response. Disappointment hangs between us.
“Then why did you come here?” he rasps, eyes finding mine, searching for answers.
We’re so close. Too close. The warmth of his breath and the smolder in his eyes cloud my ability to think. My words turn to nonsense on my lips when I try to respond—fumbling over myself, but quick to recover.
“It’s important, and I don’t think anyone else will believe me if I tell them,” I finally blurt.
He fights back the hint of amusement dancing in his eyes and tugging at his mouth, tracing his fingers over my arm as a distraction.
Azrael chuckles. “What could you tell me that I wouldn’t believe?”
“Promise not to tell anyone first?” I demand, suddenly nervous.
His fingers stop, and something like cool shadows grip my chin. He pauses, delving deep into my soul with his stare, and whispers the two simple words: “I promise.”
And then, without a second thought, his lips press against mine in the softest of kisses. Feather-light for mere seconds—but it’s all I need to fall, fully and helplessly, into him beneath the stars. I can’t breathe, or even fathom this moment ending… until it does.
He pulls away slowly, leaving me starved for more. “There. Sealed with a kiss. Now tell me everything.”
I suck my bottom lip in, yearning to taste him again, then exhale, preparing to tell him everything that happened.
I shift uncomfortably. Azrael’s hand finds mine, and he strokes his thumb across the top.
It’s the reassurance I need to take yet another deep breath and begin.
“My cousin and I were attacked walking home from the docks today, but it wasn’t human. It was… different.”
“Different how?” he asks, interrupting.
Heat flushes my cheeks. It’s embarrassing. What if he doesn’t believe me? But this is a man who believes Zora can erase memories. Maybe what I’m about to say isn’t so far-fetched after all.
“Tavien couldn’t see it. I don’t think anyone else could. He thought it was just a pickpocket attacking us.”
Azrael encourages me, “But what did you see, Mercy?”
I gulp down my fear at the memory of the hideous thing bolting towards us.
“I saw a frightful, six-winged creature. It had an enormous, fang-filled mouth shaped like a man’s and giant white feathers plastered to its body.
The wings beat in unison, six of them moving as one, propelling it across the ground faster than anything I’ve ever seen. ”
My voice cracks, and somehow Azrael pulls us even closer. “Go on, tell me what else happened,” he soothes, rubbing circles down my spine.
I want to focus on his touch, but I draw in a breath and continue. “I told my mother about it.”
Azrael’s fingers halt, and he sits up higher, more on edge. “You told your mother?” he repeats, a question.
I nod.
“What did she say?”
“That’s the most terrible part, Azrael. It’s why I knew I had to find you. The secrets that she’s been keeping are—” I trail off, unable to finish.
“It’s okay. You can tell me,” he rasps, once again looking at me with the bluest of eyes—so hypnotizing I find myself lost for a few seconds.
“She—” my lip trembles, and I start again. “She said she believed me, but then she told me something horrible. The creature came to her when she was just married, and while my father was away.” I choke back a sob. “And he…” I can’t finish.
Azrael rests his hand on my back. “I understand.”
“It’s still not the worst of it. She told me I’m not my father’s child.
I’m—the creature made me. Whatever it is, I’m part of it.
” I cry, exasperated. “And my father has always known, or at the very least, suspected. It’s why he resents us.
Everything he’s ever done to hurt her—it’s all because I exist. If I didn’t… ”
Azrael lays a finger against my lips, stopping my words and leaning in to kiss my forehead. “Don’t speak like that, Mercy. I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”
“But,” I whisper.
“But nothing,” he answers. “This changes nothing.”
“Azrael, it changes everything.” Tears flow down my cheeks, staining them in sorrow and guilt.
He wipes each one away. “It doesn’t. But it needs to be a secret. You can’t tell anyone else, or your life could be in danger.”
I nod and collapse into him, breathing in his scent, memorizing the strength of his body against mine—until sleep finally takes me.