Page 45 of Ringmaster (The Kingdom of Shadow & Bone #1)

Azrael

Overhead, the storm clouds thunder, and flashes of lightning illuminate the sky.

We’re nearly back to the manor after a quick tour of the circus grounds.

Mercy’s mother was too tired to join us—likely because I may have slipped a sleeping tincture into her lemonade at lunch this afternoon.

Everyone thinks she’s just drained from the emotional exhaustion of the move.

No one suspects what I did to steal a little alone time with my mate tonight.

The first raindrops hit, cold and refreshing as they slide down my skin. Mercy shrieks and giggles with delight as the drops steadily grow bigger.

“I love the rain. It always makes me feel renewed—cleansed of anything that’s been weighing me down. This feels like the universe telling me it’s okay to start over,” she says, spinning and dancing for a few beats before throwing her arms around my neck.

My arms wrap around her, swallowing her waist in tight embrace as she looks up at me smiling.

She rises onto her tiptoes and brushes her lips to mine in an affectionate kiss.

But it’s not enough for me. I need more.

I cradle her face in my palm, leaning further into her kiss and crushing her lips with my own.

A boom of thunder cracks above us, lightning splitting the sky, but I don’t care.

I kiss her harder—deeper—until my hand is tangled in her hair and the other holds her in place.

Her fingers slide up to grab the hair at my nape, sending a tingle of pleasure down my body.

Still, it’s not enough. I lift her in my arms, desperate to preserve this moment, and carry her to one of the brick ticket booths.

Its small frame offers only minimal shelter from the storm, but it’s enough for a few more stolen minutes together.

I press her against the cold brick; she shivers, and I quickly cage her body with mine.

Her pebbled nipples cut through the soaked fabric of her dress to press against my chest. My hands cup and knead her, teasing her through the thin material with slow, deliberate strokes as my tongue swipes across her lips, begging for more.

She moans, parting her lips, her tongue sliding against mine.

Her body springs to life as electricity pulses between us—crackling and sparking through our bond.

Mercy whimpers when I nibble at her neck, my thumb brushing over her sensitive nipples at the same time I bite down.

It takes so much control not to pierce her skin, but I would never harm the one the Fates gifted me.

“You’re too good for me, my sweet angel,” I rasp, covering the spots I bit moments before with soft kisses, while my fingers draw lazy circles around her nipples, denying her the friction she craves.

I can hear her soft cries for more through our bond—whether she sends them intentionally or not, it’s almost too much. They nearly push me over the edge.

“Don’t say those things,” Mercy whispers, sliding her hand against the soft stubble begging to form on my cheek.

“I don’t deserve your love. I’ve done such horrible things, and yet the universe allows this—allows us.” I kiss her shoulder softly.

A crack of lightning flashes across the sky, followed by more rumbling thunder. The rain falls harder, as if the divine themselves are furious we’re together. If they knew about the bond, they’d be even more enraged.

Mercy pulls my face to hers until I’m forced to meet her eyes. “I don’t care what you’ve done, Azrael. You saved me and my mother, and that’s all that matters to me.”

I drop my eyes, guilt consuming me—haunted by what I did last night. “Loving me is dangerous, Mercy,” I warn. “It will only hurt you in the long run. And if I hurt you, then I’ve failed to protect you.”

“Even if you hurt me, I’ll always find a way to forgive you. You’re my soulmate, Azrael. The universe brought us together for a reason,” she confesses. “Besides, a life without you isn’t worth living.”

She kisses me again, pulling my bottom lip between her teeth with a playful nip. What was I thinking? She’s right. Fate has brought us together, and not even the divine can stop things now. We will consummate our bond, and if she accepts it, Mercy will live forever by my side.

I pull away gently. “And a life without you is equally not worth living.”

She shivers against me. I’m not sure if it’s the freezing rain and soaked clothing—or the weight of my words—but I kiss her one last time and murmur, “Come, my love. Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.”

I scoop her into my arms just as water overflows from the gutter, pouring down on top of us like a waterfall. She laughs, kicking her feet in delight before snuggling into my chest.

“I love you, and I would choose you over and over in every lifetime,” she thinks to herself.

I smile. Her words are both comforting and hard to accept. How could she love me that deeply? But then who am I to question the power of love—let alone true love between soulmates.

Inside the manor, the rain continues to beat down on the roof while thunder shakes the walls.

Not wanting to take Mercy to my bedroom and make her feel uncomfortable, I carry her to the library.

Not the one that requires a blood sacrifice to enter—the other one.

The one it hides beneath. We slip through the double doors.

I lock them behind us, then flick my wrist, sealing them with a spell strong enough to keep even the Ringmaster out.

Ahead of us, a massive fireplace rises two stories high, its mantle one unbroken slab of black granite.

There’s a basket filled with blankets beside a loveseat and oversized chairs nestled cozily around a rug.

Rows upon rows of books line the walls, tall wooden ladders leaning against them, and a curved staircase leads to a cozier second level above.

“A two-story library,” Mercy gasps in awe, her fingers still laced around my neck.

“I take it you like the library,” I say.

“Like?” she says in a questioning tone. “I don’t just like the library—I love it.” She looks around with wonder before squealing. “There are so many pages just waiting to be read.”

I carry her further into the library until we’re standing on the rug in front of the large fireplace.

“Let’s get you out of the wet clothes, darling.” I put her down in front of me.

My hands slowly work to peel the straps of her dress over her shoulder.

They tremble as I barely brush over her bare skin with my fingertips.

Mercy sighs, leaning into my touch, inviting me to continue as she presses her body against mine.

I jerk my hands back, turning instead to pick up a blanket and hold it in front of her.

“Go ahead and undress,” I say—though it takes everything in me not to look over the edge of the blanket as she does.

Her clothes land with a wet thud against the rug.

I wrap the blanket over her shoulders, transferring the corners I was holding to her hands so she can comfortably wrap it around herself.

When she’s finished, she tucks one side against her breast, as if she’s wrapped the blanket into a strapless dress.

“Azrael, what are we doing here in the library like this? she asks, spinning to gaze into my eyes, searching them for answers. “I thought surely you might take me to your bedroom.”

I gulp. “It’s not that I didn’t want to. I do. I just… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. And I don’t want you to feel taken advantage of.”

Her face softens in understanding. “I don’t feel taken advantage of, Azrael. I want you. I want all of you.” Her eyes flick briefly to my cock before returning to meet mine. “I’ve waited a long time for this.”

“You know I want you too. I just selfishly needed you to be safe—here with me. There’s also something you need to understand. About—“

She stops me, pressing a finger to my lips. “Shhh. Whatever you were going to say, don’t. I don’t care, Azrael. There’s nothing you can say that will change my mind. I want you. All of you.”

She drags her hand down my chest sensually, but I stop her before she reaches my waistband. “Mercy, please. It’s important you know what’s going to happen.”

She sighs. “Fine, Azrael. Tell me.”

I run my fingers through her wet hair, stalling.

“If we consummate the soulmate bond, then I will pass to you a gift of immortality. Is that something you can live with for an eternity? Is that something you want? You’ll watch everyone you’ve ever loved fade from this world, and you’ll be all alone. ”

She doesn’t react. “I won’t be alone… I’ll have you, Azrael.”

I kiss her fingers. “I understand. But I still want you to think about it. Why don’t you go have a look around? I know I said no exploring on your own, but in here—it’s safe. Think about it, and decide if it’s really something you want.”

“If I think about it, then what?” she asks.

“Then I will respect your decision. However you decide,” I whisper, blowing her a kiss, then watching as she backs away to explore the library.

Once she’s gone, I snap my fingers and the fireplace fills with a warm, crackling fire.

I peel off my own wet clothes, wrap a blanket around my waist, and stare into the flickering flames as I’m lost in a sea of tumultuous thoughts.

After a few minutes, I go in search of Mercy, following the little puddles and drops of water she left behind as she wandered through the space.

It’s not until I realize she’s climbed the staircase to the second floor that I become nervous.

What if she looks into the telescope and finds her house burned down?

Would she ever forgive me? I take the steps two at a time.

The staircase creaks and moans in protest, as if alerting her that I’m on my way.

My blood chills. Did I remember to move the telescope?

Fuck. I can’t remember if I moved it after the last time I was watching her house.