Page 70 of Resist

“Helena, I was kidding about the Jacuzzi.”

I laughed. “I know, Baz. She still doesn’t have one of those. She has a lot, but not one of those.” I winked at him. “But give me time.”

“This is …” He shook his head in disbelief. “Unbelievable.”

I took in their shocked faces, the sight giving me butterflies. “GO!” I said, ushering them forward. “Go and check her out!”

Each of them made their way to the bus and, in single file, climbed aboard. I went to follow but felt a hand on my shoulder.

“This means more than I think you know,” Josh said, his grip warm and kind.

I gave him a knowing smile. “I think I know how much, Josh. I do notice things.”

“You can say that again.”

We walked to the bus, and I was about to climb on board when I noticed Lucas dawdling behind us.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, taking my foot off the step.

He kicked a rock. “I feel like a jerk.”

“That’s because you are … sometimes.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what comes over me.” He rocked back on his heels, his hands in his pockets.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“No, it’s not okay. I don’t want to treat you bad. I don’t want to be like hi—”

“Hey!” I stepped closer and touched his face, not giving a shit who could see. “You’re nothing like Colin, so don’t even go there.”

He glanced up at the bus. “People are watching.”

I smiled and lifted my shoulders, my palms turned to the sky. “I don’t care.”

Maybe it was the joy I felt at surprising them all with Bertha II, or the perfect weather, or the damn stupid birds singing in the trees nearby, the truth of the matter was, I didn’t care. Not anymore.

For too many years, I hid the real me, the woman who was entitled to be the woman she wanted to be. And for too many years, I gave fucks about the wrong people and for the wrong reasons.

I was sick of giving a fuck when that fuck went nowhere.

Glee swept across Lucas’s face, his eyes gleaming, his cheeks high and dimpled. “Does that mean I can kiss you … here … now?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, can you?”

“Fucken oath I can.” He reached forward and placed his hand on the back of my head, pulling me to his lips.

I let him kiss me, long, hard, soft and sensual, and in full view of anyone who cared to watch, because I wasn’t ashamed of the years between us or who we both were in this crazy world. None of that mattered; it didn’t even register as his lips held mine. What mattered were his feelings for me and mine for him. And I was sick of hiding them.

The sound of hands slapping glass broke us apart, and I glanced up at the bus to see Noah and Brad making blowfish faces and licking the windows.

“What the hell?”

I had no words.

None. At. All.

* * *