Page 29 of Rear View

Ryah

Xavier’s taillights grew smaller as he drove across the lot, heading for the road. As he left, my heart, and happiness and every ounce of security I’d finally started to feel left with him.

The weight of that fear crept back in. What if he’d been watching? What if he’d just been waiting for Xavier to go? I was alone. Vulnerable. My heart pulsed in my ears.

Xavier’s brake lights flashed red. The Jeep tires chirped when it skidded to a halt. He reversed with a shot, whipping up to the curb in front of me, then launched out.

Tears pricked my eyes as I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck, gripping tight.

He took my thighs, hooking them over his hips, and held me. Just held me. But it was enough to fill that void. Several seconds later, he pulled back, and those icy eyes were hooded when they locked with mine. “What would you say if I asked you to come?”

My brows lifted. “To Emerald Cove?”

His gaze tracked between mine while he offered a tight nod. “Bring your books. Work on your thesis. I’ll get you your own room. Whatever you need. Just come. Watch me race. Be there with me, darlin’.”

Leave. With him. For him. Get out of Edgewater. I’d have to cancel my meeting with Barlowe, and miss my afternoon lecture, but I’d already read ahead. I bit my lip, surprised and yet not at the utter lack of fear that idea brought. Because he wanted it, and so did I.

“Okay.”

His mouth twitched at the corner. “Yeah?”

The smile I wore warmed my soul. “Yeah. I just have to pack a few things.”

He charged us toward the building, and I shrieked a laugh.

As he closed in on the door, my gaze lit on the security pad, then back to him. “Four-five-nine-eight,” I said, tipping my head toward it. “The code to get in.”

He punched it and took us across the lobby, then up to my apartment. When we crossed over, he set me down and closed us in.

“I’ve gotta make some calls. Get whatcha need.”

I beamed as I scampered to my room, then stopped dead in the doorway. “Xavier,” I said, turning to face him.

“Yeah, dream girl?”

“I don’t need my own room.”

His smile reached his eyes. “Glad to hear it.”

My face heated as I ducked inside. Pulling out my phone, I typed up a message to Barlowe.

Hi Dr. Barlowe.

I’m just writing to cancel our meeting this evening. Something personal has come up and I won’t be able to make it.

Ryah Nolan

Scurrying to my closet, I wiggled my toes and pulled piece after piece of my “someday clothes.” My grin spread wide as I spotted the olive green bohemian dress I’d dreamed of wearing.

Squeaking my excitement, I plucked it and several other favorites out.

Next, I grabbed my makeup, toiletries, electronics, chargers and books.

My phone rang and I checked the screen. Dr. Barlowe’s name flashed there. My stomach twisted. He’d never called before, and it felt like a bit of an overstep for him to do it then. But I was in too good of a mood to let him ruin it. Reaching over, I sent it to voicemail.

A knock sounded at the apartment door and my head snapped up.

“Want me to get that?” Xavier called.

“No, it’s okay,” I said, my voice shaky as I shuffled that way, and peered out the peephole. When I saw the face on the other side, I frowned, a new kind of tension creeping in.

I popped the door open. “Christian? How’d you get in?”

“I followed a delivery driver,” he said, smiling as he stepped past me into the apartment, then stopped dead.

Xavier ticked his chin up in acknowledgment.

Christian’s brow dropped low. “What are you doing here?”

My frown deepened. I didn’t know where he’d found the audacity, but I wasn’t having it. “I invited him.” Folding my arms over my chest, I asked, “Was there something you needed?”

His stare flicked to Xavier, then back. “I was hoping to talk to you.”

I swallowed hard. “Now’s not a good time.” I found Xavier. “I’m almost ready.”

His nod was tight. “Take your time, darlin’.”

Coward that I was, I headed for my room, wanting to get the heck out of there, away from Christian and all my other baggage.

Haphazardly, I started stuffing everything into my suitcase, no organization, just efficiency. My gaze lit on my notebook where it sat on the edge of my dresser, the one I never went anywhere without. The one that had everything to do with him .

I zipped my bag shut. Someone crossed into the room, and I jumped at the sight of Christian. He closed us in together, and my heart dropped.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

His foot scuffed the floor. “I told you, we need to talk.”

No. Hard no! “I said not now, Christian.”

“You’re always busy lately. Your head is somewhere else.” He scoffed, and his attention landed on my suitcase. His brow lowered. “Are you going somewhere?”

Ugh. That conversation was the last thing I wanted, but like it or not… “Yes.”

His eyes widened and he stabbed a hand toward the living room. “With him ?”

Stand tall, Ryah. Stand tall. “With him.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

My pulse drummed in my ears. “What? The way he looks at me like he cares? Because he does. He’s made that very clear. And I like him, Christian. So I’d suggest you get used to it.” I pointed to the door. “Now, please, wait out there.”

Jabbing a finger at his chest, he said, “I know who you are and what you need.”

“You don’t know anything.”

His eyes went wide with something akin to panic. “I ended things with Chloe.” He rocked on his heels. “For good this time.” He advanced a step. “I wanted to give us another chance. You and me.”

Doubtless, he’d meant it as some grand gesture, but my blood pressure spiked because all it actually did was tick me off. How long had I wanted him in my room, saying those words? But suddenly, those words rang hollow and I just…didn’t care.

“There is no us. You’re too late.”

His gaze darted around. “Come on, R.J. Don’t shut me down like that. Just try.”

He couldn’t be serious. I blinked hard. “We did try, Christian. We tried and you dumped me when he came into my life.” I slammed my hands on my hips.

“Or did you forget you left me when I needed you? Let me face him alone like a coward. And like the fool I was, I waited for you. I waited a long time. I let myself be second place again and again. I finally found someone who treats me like a priority. I’m not giving that up. ”

His expression twisted. Pain and embarrassment and anger. He swallowed hard. “I was always there, Ryah. I still am.”

“No, you’re not.” I pointed toward the living room. Toward Xavier. “He is. And he’s everything to me.”

He tore a hand through his hair. “You don’t even know him. He’s just using you, R.J.”

My head drew back. “Excuse me?”

“He’s here now, sure. But what happens when his career takes off? He’ll dump you and leave you in his dust. He’s just gonna hurt you.”

I hated that he’d plucked that fear from my head and given it voice. Hated that he tried to cut my legs out from under me when I was finally trying to stand.

Stand. Tall.

“What bothers you more, Christian? That he chose me? Or that I’m no longer pining for you ?” I shook my head and set my suitcase on the floor. “Please, just leave my room.”

“Why?” he demanded.

“Because you being in here looks some kinda way, and I’m not comfortable with that.”

He let loose a dry laugh. “What? Your driver not trust you or something?”

My bedroom door creaked open. Xavier’s large frame filled the entrance as he set his shoulder against it. “I trust her just fine,” he said. “It’s you who’s pissing me off.” He tipped his chin up. “She told you to step out, son.”

Christian scowled. “R.J. and I are talking.”

“I’d say you’re about done.” X rolled his shoulders, the threat pulsing off him tangible. “You feel me?”

Turning, Christian sized him up, but if he thought he had a chance, he didn’t. I didn’t need to see Xavier fight to know he could. He hadn’t lived with his father, learned to carry himself the way he did, with that cool, don’t-fuck-with-me confidence, without knowing he could back it up.

My chest tightened. The last thing I wanted was my ex ruining our time by bleeding all over my apartment. “Just leave, Christian.”

He scoffed, his incredulous eyes haunting me. “I can’t believe you right now.”

“Just. Leave!”

Shaking his head like I’d disappointed him, he aimed for the door. He angled sideways, pulling away from Xavier, and stalked out. X half-turned, following him with his glare. A few seconds later, the front door slammed.

I flinched, then exhaled long and slow to calm my frantic nerves before I sagged onto the edge of the bed.

Xavier strode inside and took a knee before me. “You alright, darlin’?”

“I’m fine.”

He set his hands on the mattress by my hips. “That the truth?”

Tears stung the backs of my eyes, and I looked away.

He hooked a knuckle under my chin and pulled me back to him. His arctic gaze met mine and held. Waiting.

The weight of his attention pressed in, making it harder to breathe. “I’m sorry, Xavier. I just don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I might not always like what you say, Ryah, but I still wanna hear it. I don’t want you holdin’ back. You can tell me anything.”

God, I didn’t deserve him. My tongue trailed the back of my teeth while my hands settled against his stomach, twisting in his shirt. He’d asked for the truth, so I’d give it to him. That one, anyway. “I’ve wanted Christian for a long time.”

Xavier stilled, the muscles of his neck and arms cording. His expression grew taut, like he was bracing himself.

I followed the lettering on his top with the tip of my finger. “I wanted to hear those words. For him to say he wanted me again. I’d dreamed of it.” I stared past X and into my closet. “And now, I’m just so…mad.”

His gaze creased. “’Cause he didn’t choose you sooner.”

I shook my head. “No.” I angled forward and cupped his face in my palms, that five-o’clock shadow rough against my skin. “I’m mad that I let myself be treated like an option.” I set my forehead to his and breathed, “Christian did me a favor.”

His tension ebbed, and he angled his face up, his mouth brushing mine. “How’s that?”

“Because without him,” I said, my voice low and husky, even to my own ears, “I’d never have been ready for you.”

Those calloused hands latched on to my ass and dragged me closer. Moving between my thighs, he crushed his body to mine. “Maybe I should chase the fucker down.” His fingers kneaded my flesh. “Thank him.”

I laughed as I draped my arms around his neck and nipped his bottom lip. Warm shivers tracked down my spine when I wiggled in, pressing my breasts against his chest. I tilted my head, my mouth a whisper from his, our breath mingling.

His eyes slid slowly between mine. “You ready, dream girl?”

“I’m ready.” For the weekend. For him. For everything.

“Then hold on.” He lifted and I squealed as he grabbed my suitcase and carried me away.