Page 18 of Rear View
The sun died on the horizon as we left, staining the sky an electric shade of cerulean.
I adjusted myself behind Xavier while the snowmobile’s headlight mesmerized, bouncing over the path as it painted the snow and bows.
Fresh, cool air opened my lungs and bit at my skin, but compared to the stagnancy of school or my apartment, I welcomed it. Never wanted to leave.
Driving the machine had been an adrenaline rush and my face was sore from laughing so hard. Regardless, I’d gladly handed the reins back.
My gaze skimmed Xavier’s broad shoulders, his confident posture. His command and control. He set me at ease. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had so much fun. My chest was light, the pressure that usually weighed it down freeingly absent.
We hit a bump that lifted me from the seat. Xavier snapped his hand back and clamped on to my coat while my arms locked tighter around him. He half-turned, but his tinted visor hid his expression. My body warmed while the ridiculous blush that wouldn’t leave me in his presence flamed my cheeks.
Before long, we reached the parking lot.
He pulled us to a stop and swung his leg over the snowmobile, rising as he stripped off his helmet and set it on the seat.
I did the same. His hair stood on end, sexy and tousled, and my fingers itched to run through those strands, see if they were soft, or rough around the edges in that wholly enticing way. Like him.
“Tell me something else, yeah,” he said.
I bit my lip.
“You and Christian”—his knuckle rapped the machine’s windshield before he finished—“you two together?”
My mouth ran dry. There was only one place that conversation could lead. Question was, did I want to go there? And I did. God, I did, so badly. My answer came easy. “No. We’re not.”
He gave a slow nod. “Good to know.” Edging closer, he forced my gaze higher as he towered over me. “I got a busy few days ahead and that race outta town next weekend. Gonna be gone for a bit. But I was thinking, I should probably give you a drivin’ lesson sometime soon.”
My heart beat wildly. “You should, should you?”
“Yeah, darlin’. I should.” He squared himself to me, his expression turning serious while his tone deepened to match. “I don’t want you in a situation you can’t get out of ’cause you’re stuck relyin’ on someone else.”
Soothing tingles spread down my arms to the tips of my fingers. Yes, it was an excuse to see me, but the creases around his eyes and rigid set of his shoulders told me he’d meant it. As if he was speaking from experience.
I loved that it mattered to him. That I did. “Guess I should probably learn, then.”
“Yeah?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
He tucked an errant strand of my hair over my shoulder as the others dismounted their machines, then started readying the trailers to load everything up.
Miles sauntered our way and handed Xavier back his key. “Thanks for the invite, man. This was awesome.”
“Anytime,” Xavier said with an incline of his head.
The offer wasn’t fake for the sake of politeness, it was genuine, like he’d actually meant it. Like he enjoyed having Miles around.
Sheila scurried closer. “Everyone get in here for a picture!”
My lungs seized. I didn’t do pictures. Couldn’t risk them.
Miles gave my wrist a squeeze. When I looked at him, his nod said, “I got this.”
Yara, Kamala, Alec and Sheila closed around us.
“Squish in,” Sheila ordered.
Xavier moved behind me, his warm chest pressing against my back while Miles edged in on my right side. Sheila raised her phone, the screen facing us for a group selfie. My heart thrashed in my ears.
“Ready? One. Two. Three. Smile!” Her finger moved to the button.
Miles shifted so his shoulder blocked my face. She took the picture.
“Yay!” she said as the others moved away. “It was great seeing you again, Ryah!”
“You, too!” And it was. I loved Zoya, was eternally grateful for her, but being around new people, doing new things and just… being was the addictive kind of nice. I wanted more.
The others said their goodbyes, then piled into their respective vehicles, and I waved as they left. My brother climbed into his car and Xavier flanked me while I made my way there. He popped my door open and I sank inside.
My gaze met his. “When are you back?” I asked, my voice soft.
He set his forearm against the upper frame of the vehicle and gave it his weight, angling in. “Sunday.”
Disappointment curled in my stomach. A lot could happen in a week.
His eyes moved between mine and he must’ve read something in my expression, because he added, “Greenfield’s not far and our times are in the mornin’. Name the day, and I’ll be here.”
I cleared my throat and nodded. “My classes are done at noon on Fridays.”
Giving the roof a tap, he confirmed, “Friday, then.” He walked backward. “Don’t forget me.”
I smiled. At this point, I was pretty sure I couldn’t anymore, even if I tried. “Good luck with the race.”
He winked, then closed the door and offered my brother a salute.
Miles turned his car over. “Did you tell him?”
My smile skittered out and died on my lips as I swallowed around the painful lump in my throat. “We’re not there.” With Xavier’s career and my…everything, who knew where we’d land, but I wasn’t ready to give him up. Not even close. Not yet.