Page 17 of Rear View

Ryah

“So, they do have a death wish,” I said, my stomach tightening when Xavier stood, one knee on the snowmobile’s seat, while he whipped up the side of the hill.

When he hit the top, he launched off the peak, going airborne.

My breath lodged in my throat as he soared at least fifteen feet high.

He twisted his torso, and the machine followed, arcing until it landed with ease, skis down, on the snow.

Sheila snickered. “Girl, wait until you see them drive.”

My eyes went wide. “Is it that bad?”

“When your man’s in that car, it is.” Her gaze drifted to Alec as he launched off the hillside next. “X had a rough life. Like, really rough. This stuff is his outlet.”

“Rough?” I asked.

She gave an exaggerated nod. “His father was the worst kind of asshole.”

My heart twisted. I didn’t know Xavier well, but I unequivocally knew he deserved better. I wanted to ask, yet it felt…intrusive. Besides, I wanted to hear his story from him, if he was willing to tell it. My face heated as I pressed my boot into the snow. “Does he date much?”

A small smile stole across her lips. “He was with Penny for a while until he ended it last year.” She adjusted her headband, tugging it over her ears. “X hasn’t said much, but I think he realized she was just hitching herself to his success.”

To his success, not to him . Ouch! That had to hurt. To be with someone, commit yourself, then learn everything was a lie. My mouth tugged into a frown.

“Rally’s life for them.” Sheila’s voice fell flat. “And they’re climbing fast.”

My gaze narrowed on the slump of her shoulders and the dimming of her eyes. “You don’t seem excited about that?”

She sighed. “Is it that obvious?”

Very. I shrugged.

Miles and Alec whooped while Xavier raced Yara and Kamala down the hill. He stood, feet on the left running board, then hit the gas, drifting the machine around before he rocketed back to the top again. God, it was sexy and terrifying, which somehow made it sexier.

“It’s scary.” Sheila raised her hands. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for Alec. For both of them. They’ve worked so hard to get where they are, but I’m terrified of what that could mean.”

“For whom?”

Her body sagged. “Is it awful if I say me?”

I shook my head and tapped the stunning solitaire engagement ring that circled her finger. “This affects you just as much as him. You’re in this together.”

She nodded weakly. “I just”—another heavy sigh—“I’m afraid he’ll go to these amazing places and meet all these big new people and I’ll get left behind.” She dropped her head in her hands. “It feels so selfish, but I can’t help it.”

The weight of that hit like a brick. Xavier was there, but how long would it take before his career steered him away?

I stared at my feet. Maybe that was for the best. It wasn’t like I was free anyway, not really.

I cleared my throat, working hard to ignore how much that idea hurt.

“You and I barely know each other, so take this as you will, but if the way Alec looks at you means anything, you have nothing to worry about.”

I glanced at Xavier. He flipped up his black-tinted visor and his gaze collided with mine.

He grinned, said something to the others, then whipped his snowmobile around, the engine making a loud zzt as the track spun and sent snow flying.

It coated the air and tree bows behind him before he made a beeline straight to where I waited.

My stomach fluttered as he pulled close.

So close that his leg brushed mine. He was so tall that we were still at eye level, even with him seated.

Alec chased after him and stuck his arm out, grabbing Sheila and dragging her onto his lap as she shrieked before he zoomed away.

Xavier killed the engine, then pushed back, making space before he slapped the seat in front of him. “Hop on.”

I sat, my limbs tingling when my outer thigh grazed his knee.

“Tell me something.”

Miles watched from the hill wearing a relaxed smile that he’d not had around me since before my baggage had dropped in our laps. He gave me a quick thumbs-up, then looked away.

Folding my palms in my lap, I turned and faced Xavier. “What do you want to know?”

He tipped his chin up. “How come you don’t have social media?”

I tapped a clump of snow with my boot while I tried to play it off. “So, you were creeping me.”

His ice-toned eyes held mine as he angled forward and rested his elbows on his legs. Closer. “Yes.”

God, the intensity of that gaze, it heated every part of me that it touched—the warm kind of heat that burrowed deep. I rubbed my hands together. “Why?”

“Because you’re interesting, darlin’. And I’m interested.”

The man was just so…honest. It was wildly intimidating in an endearing and wholly refreshing kind of way. There weren’t any pretenses. No lines to read between. He said what he thought, and I liked it. A lot. It made breathing easier.

What was it like to be that self-assured? To see what you wanted and just go for it? It had to be freeing. I wished I knew.

Trailing a gloved finger over the seat, I uttered, “I don’t like everyone knowing my business.

” It was true enough. It was more one person in particular, but without knowing who said person was, it made that information dangerous in anyone’s hands.

My circle of trust was small. It was better that way.

He inclined his head, looking set to ask more.

And I unequivocally was not ready to share the sheer level of disaster my life was.

I didn’t know if or where things were going with us, but I liked it.

My situation had already cost me Christian, so I wasn’t about to fill Xavier in and sabotage myself, which meant I needed to change the subject.

Fast. Not difficult, considering there had been a question plaguing me.

One he’d vaguely answered at the car show.

A topic he’d dodged of his own. “Why’d you really get into rally? ”

He looked away, and back, then down at the space between us. Those icy eyes muted. “The truth, yeah?”

My stomach twisted while I dug my fingers into my palms. I didn’t know what door I’d just pushed but it was clear that whatever lay behind it wasn’t good. “Only if you wanna give it.”

He rolled his shoulders and sat a little straighter. “My brother died some years back. The two of us were shit disturbers. Always in some kinda trouble.” He laughed as if he were caught in a memory. “After he was gone, I made a list of stuff I needed to do.”

My heart broke. I wanted to throw my arms around him, take the pain deep in those arctic eyes away. Help him the way he helped me. Tugging my jacket tighter, I breathed, “You wanted to live?”

“I wanted to feel.” His stare locked on mine. A smile pulled the corner of his mouth, but it was thick. Forced. The sight of it hurt my soul. “I was numb for a long time. The cars”—he gestured around us—“all this, it helps.”

He was just so alive. I couldn’t fathom him unplugged. “Were you two close?”

His head bowed. “We were real tight.”

My fingers flexed before I reached out and settled my palm over his, stroking his warm skin. “I’m sorry.”

He stared down at where I touched him. Twisting his hand, he took my own, practically swallowing it whole.

His heat burrowed into me, sending a warm shiver up my arm.

And it felt good. There I was, trying to comfort him, but the strength of his hold, it grounded me.

He’d unlocked a space in my heart I hadn’t known existed.

I opened my mouth to ask what happened, how his brother had died, but he released me.

“Face forward,” he said.

I twisted my expression. “Huh?”

“It’s your turn.”

My brows shot up my forehead. “To what?”

“To drive.”

My voice rose when I pointed at the machine. “This thing?”

“Damn right.” He leaned over and grabbed my helmet. “Don’t worry. I trust ya.”

My cheeks burned. His attention roved over them, and I swore his lip twitched.

Swiveling, I threw my leg over the seat and settled myself into place.

His boot nudged my heel. “Push your feet all the way forward on the footboards.” He pointed. “Into those slots, there.”

I did.

Slowly, his arms came around me, his chest pressing into my back as he indicated the throttle and brake. His voice was low at my ear when he asked, “Know which is which?”

I’d watched him enough on the ride in to figure it out. Glancing back, my gaze met his as I nodded.

His elbows lowered to his knees, but he didn’t move back.

Inhaling long and slow, I took the handlebars, sighing as I gripped them tight. I smiled, my hips wiggling. Offering him a wink, I threw his own words back at him. “Hold on, rally driver. Don’t want you fallin’ off on me.”

He barked a laugh, throwing his head back as his shoulders shook.

As he righted himself, he skimmed his hand over my hair, slowly drawing it back.

A warm shiver tracked down my spine before he slid my helmet on.

He skimmed his touch along my waist, gliding it forward until it locked around me. “Show me whatcha got, now.”

My heart beat wildly, and my breath quickened as I faced forward, fighting not to lean into him. I touched the gas. The snowmobile crept over the snow like a sloth. Or a snail. Or a glacier.

Again, his laugh rang out. Rich and deep, it rumbled through me. My mouth ran dry.

We crawled around the valley floor at a decidedly turtle-like pace. And I smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. It was so good to be living—I peered over my shoulder at Xavier—and wanting…more.

He leaned into me, then brushed my elbow and taunted, “That all you got?”

Biting my lip, I shook my head.

“Then do it, woman!”

I steadied myself on a breath before every head turned our way as I squealed and hit the throttle.

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