Page 6 of Rancher’s Strength (Flying Diamond 5, #4)
Chapter Five
LEXIE
S awyer had been sitting at the large window in the front room since he woke up from his nap, waiting for Ryder to return to the house.
He’d even eaten lunch there. What was I supposed to do to help him?
Ruby curled up on the couch in Anita’s robe, watching whatever was on TV.
I moved from one to the other, giving hugs and holding them for as long as they needed.
I puttered around the house, making mental notes of things that needed to come with us when we headed back to the ranch, and I found boxes in the basement to pack things up.
It was all an elaborate plan to keep myself busy, but all it did was make me cry and remember the fun times we’d had over the years.
When I lifted the lid on Anita’s jewelry box, it felt intrusive, and my stomach rolled as I glanced at the belongings inside.
A piece of paper poked out from beneath some necklaces, and I pulled it out.
It wasn’t paper at all—it was a picture of her and me.
As I stared at it, I remembered that day vividly.
It was the end of our first week of college.
We’d sat beside each other in our first class and had been inseparable since.
With a sigh, I sat on the floor, held the photograph to my chest, and let the tears flow freely. I hadn’t cried in front of the kids today. They needed strength, not me in fits of tears.
I didn’t hear him come in, but the air in the room shifted, and I knew he was there, sitting beside me, letting me cry. God, I needed his arms to hold me, but my head told me I needed to stay away. This wasn’t the time to blur the lines I’d fought so hard to erase.
Why was there never a tissue when I needed one? Using my sleeve, I wiped my face and runny nose. Well, that was gross, I thought to myself before shifting to look at Ryder.
“Did you get everything done?” I asked as I sniffled again.
“Yeah, there’s a few things we’ll need paperwork for, but the ball is rolling.
I’ll go to the bank when we get the death certificate and finish paying the outstanding bills, and we can have their accounts and life insurance put in a trust for the kids.
From the paperwork in Hank’s office, there’s still a mortgage on the house, so I’ll take care of that if there aren’t death benefits on the loan…
so there’s nothing to worry about other than the kids.
” He was rambling; he did it when he didn’t know what to say.
“I can help with the mortgage,” I said quietly.
“Sweetheart, I know you can, but I won’t let you.
I’m not even going to notice that amount gone from my account.
” He held out his hand, and I placed mine in his.
I knew he didn’t need the money, but I would have felt bad not offering to help.
I wasn’t Flying Diamond Five rich, but I’d done well in the years since our divorce, and I appreciated him taking care of things.
“What does this look like?” he asked as he turned his eyes away from me.
“I don’t know.” It wasn’t a lie or a copout, I really didn’t know.
I’d spent three torturous years trying to forget him.
And when I thought I’d sorted out my feelings, I’d see him again, and the wounds would open once more.
Then he touched me at the coffee shop. It was just a light brush of his hand across my hip, but it brought back all the memories.
His tender yet demanding touch. How he’d run his calloused hands down my body when we made love.
The possessive way he’d hold my hand in a crowd or when he walked on the curb side of the street, even though we lived in a town with fewer than five hundred people and I’d known almost everyone since I was a baby.
But he was a protector, and I knew that no matter what, during this next year, there’d be nothing we needed to worry about because he would have everything under control.
I needed to control my heart because if there was one thing about Ryder Saffort, it was that he knew how to make me forget everything except him.
My hand grew hot, and I pulled it away from his, as if it were on fire. “I need to check on the kids.” Hopping up from where I was sitting, I tossed the picture back into the jewelry box and practically ran out of the room.
Why was my breathing so erratic? I leaned against the wall and pressed my hand to my chest, trying to slow my pounding heart.
A year in close proximity to that man might just kill me.
“You better know what you’re doing,” I whispered to Anita, wherever her spirit was, hoping she heard me.
She was probably up in the heavens, clapping her hands, kicking her feet, and squealing as she watched Ryder and me share these moments again.
“Damn you,” I muttered as I turned to head down the stairs.
“So, what should we do now that Uncle Ryder’s back?” I asked, my voice sounding way too chipper. Both kids turned and looked at me like I had five heads. “ Well, I’m going to bake cookies.” I turned and walked into the kitchen. Cookies never made anything worse.
I froze when I opened the cupboard where Anita stored the baking supplies, and that’s where Ryder found me when he finally came into the kitchen.
“Lex?” His voice was quiet but filled with worry. I didn’t turn—I didn’t even acknowledge him. He placed his big hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him. “Lex, what is it?” His eyes were full of concern, and I shook my head.
“What do we do with all the stuff? The food, the freezer, the pots and pans?” It was something I hadn’t even considered, but we were essentially packing up an entire lifetime of stuff.
“We let the moving company deal with it.” A slight frown crossed his handsome face, and his brows furrowed, accentuating the line between his eyes.
I used to run my fingers over it, trying to get him to relax, but it was permanently part of his face.
“I’ve given them directions on what to pack and what to leave.
We don’t have to do all this at one time, either.
It’s a few-hour flight from the ranch. We can come back whenever we need to.
” He brushed my hair off my face and waited for me to reply. All I could do was nod.
“I promised the kids cookies.” A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts, but as expected, Ryder was on top of everything and immediately went to get it. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but the door closed, and Ryder walked into the kitchen with two massive platters of food.
He set them down on the table, left the kitchen, and came back with bags of groceries. I stared at him when he left again, this time returning with boxes of soda and beer. “The law office sent it,” he said as he finally stopped leaving the kitchen.
“What are we going to do with all of this?” I looked from the table to him.
“You’re going to call Sam and her parents, ask her to reach out a few of Hank and Anita’s close friends, and we’re going to have a party for them.
” Another knock at the door made him stop talking, and he went to answer it.
More food arrived, and in a way, I was more grateful for that than flowers.
Flowers would be hard to get to the ranch, and it would be a shame to throw them out if they were still perfectly good.
“A party it is,” I nodded as I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and dialed Sam’s number.
At that moment, an idea dawned on me. “Ry, why don’t we ask Sam if she wants to move in here?
She’s only renting the place she’s in. This would be permanent, and if the kids wanted to visit, they’d be coming home.
” As I stared at my phone before dialing her number, it seemed like an outlandish idea.
“Tell her to come over now, and we can talk to her about it. I think it’s a good idea.” He gently pressed a kiss to the side of my head before heading to the living room. He sat between Ruby and Sawyer, both of whom cuddled into his side.