Page 4 of Rancher’s Strength (Flying Diamond 5, #4)

Chapter Three

LEXIE

T he kids clung to me as we left Sam’s, and I hated making them sit in the back seat, they felt so far away and I wanted to wrap my arms around them.

Their soft sobs made my own tears silently roll down my face.

Pulling into the driveway, I looked in the rearview mirror and wondered if they were hoping this was all a dream and that when they walked into the house, their lives would be normal, and they wouldn’t have just lost the two people who were their entire world.

Without a word, they climbed out of the car and clutched my hands as we walked into their house.

“Okay, are you hungry? You didn’t eat much at Auntie Sam’s,” I asked, hanging up my coat and helping the kids take off their shoes.

“We always get pizza on Friday nights and then we watch a movie. Mom lets us eat in the living room,” Ruby said before her silent tears fell again. My nose stung, and I blinked faster, hoping to stop the tears from falling.

“Well, then, pizza it is,” his low voice came from the doorway as the three of us looked over at him.

“Uncle Ryder,” both kids said in unison and rushed to wrap their arms around him as he dropped to his knees.

“Hey, Lex,” he said quietly as he lifted his dark eyes to me, the kids clinging to him like he was the lifeline they’d been waiting for. He had always been good with kids, and it was the reason I’d made the decision I did.

His hair was a bit longer than the last time I’d seen him in town, but there was still so much that remained the same.

The plaid pearl snap shirt stretched over his broad shoulders, while his long muscular legs were hugged tightly in blue wranglers.

He wore a ball cap instead of a cowboy hat because he felt more comfortable in it.

I understood the inner workings of the man.

“Ry,” my voice cracked, and I nodded.

“Okay, go get your pajamas on, and Auntie Lexie will order supper.” The kids let him go and reached for one another’s hands as they moved quietly up the stairs to their rooms. I couldn’t be in the same room, the air felt like it was being sucked away from me, and my heart raced at being in such close proximity to him.

Turning, I wanted to run away, but Ryder grasped my arm and pulled me back to him.

Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. He smelled the same as always.

I let out my muffled sobs—cedar, citrus, and him.

I could smell him so vividly in my dreams that some nights, I would have sworn he was in my bedroom, at the foot of my bed, watching me sleep and reaching out to touch me. But I always woke up before he did.

“Why them? They had so much to live for?” I whispered, sure he wouldn’t have heard me.

“I don’t know, it’s not fair at all.” He kissed the top of my head, and I pulled away from him.

“I need to order pizza.” The kitchen was tidy. I didn’t expect anything less from Anita. There were still coffee mugs in the sink, and it once again hit me that, in the blink of an eye, two people who thought they’d be home in a few days never would be.

The doorbell rang almost thirty minutes after I’d made the phone call to the pizza place.

I’d found the number on the side of the fridge, so I figured it must have been where they usually ordered from.

When Ryder opened the door, I couldn’t help but feel bad for the jovial pizza delivery man.

He tried to engage Ryder in conversation but didn’t get more than one-syllable answers from him.

Sawyer picked the movie, and while it should have been funny, nobody really laughed. I missed Ruby and Sawyer’s laughter. In all the dark moments after I left Ryder, when I needed something to cling to, it had been them and their innocence. But now they needed to cling to me.

“I think it’s time for bed,” Ryder said quietly, and I looked down at Sawyer, whose head was resting on Ryder’s chest, breathing deeply, his eyes closed but a quiet tear resting on his cheek.

With a nod, I helped Ruby off the floor and wrapped my arm around her.

“Divide and conquer. Good night, sweet girl. We’ll be here in the morning,” Ryder whispered as he kissed the top of Ruby’s head.

“Uncle Ry, could Sawyer and I sleep in Mom and Dad’s room?”

“Absolutely you can.” His voice was suddenly thick, and he blinked rapidly. “Auntie, Lexie, and I will sleep in there, too, in case you need us.” I hadn’t given much thought to where I would sleep tonight, but sharing the same room as Ryder hadn’t even crossed my mind.

“Thank you,” she said quietly before hugging him tightly.

“So, what are we going to do?” I asked Ryder as I quietly pulled the door closed.

I’d stayed in the room until Ruby drifted off to sleep, and Ryder stood leaning against the dresser, his arms crossed and focused on the two sleeping children in the massive bed.

He didn’t say anything, he just motioned for me to follow him.

We walked past the kitchen and the living room, making our way toward the stairs leading to the basement.

Once we reached the bottom, entering Hank’s office, Ryder opened a door and flicked on the light in the room.

“He told me years ago they keep a copy of their will in their safe.” He moved behind the desk and took down the large family photo from the wall.

Sure enough, there was a safe, and without hesitation, Ryder punched in a code.

The whirring and the thunk of the lock opening made me jump.

God, I was so jumpy today, it wasn’t like me.

But then again, I didn’t make it a habit of being in the same room as my ex-husband for lengthy periods anymore.

Ryder pulled out an envelope and handed it to me.

“You’ll be better at reading this than I will.

” He gave me a look full of longing and took a seat behind the desk.

He’d never given himself enough credit. Ryder was smart, and he could have read this with ease.

Even in subjects he had little knowledge of, he knew what he was talking about.

“Of course, everything was organized,” I said as I skimmed the document and froze, letting my eyes drift from the paper to him.

“What is it?” he asked, the frown going deeper on his face with every second I didn’t reply to him. “Lex?”

“They want us to raise the kids together.” I frowned as I reread the will. “In the same place.”

“How long ago was this will written?” It was a logical question. More often than not, people wrote a will and never changed it. In fact, I was pretty sure mine still said to leave everything I had to Ryder.

“It was updated last year.” I flipped through the pages, thinking they’d made a mistake and included a page from the old will, but they were all dated a year ago.

“Well, we agreed to be the kids’ guardians when we were together. I just assumed they’d find someone else, and Anita wouldn’t have overlooked something like that.”

“There’s a letter addressed to you and me.” I handed it to Ryder because I didn’t think I’d be able to open it, much less read it.

The sound of paper tearing made me look at the man sitting across from me. Reaching for the chair behind me, I sat and held my breath.

Lexie and Ryder,

This is a letter I hope you never have to read, but if you do, then things have gone horribly wrong.

When we asked you to be the guardians of our children, we never doubted that you were the perfect partners.

Along the way, you both forgot that you make one another whole.

We’ve seen you both navigate this divorce, but neither of you is actually the same without the other.

We request that you live together for a year to ease the transition for our kids. We don’t care where you live. All we ask is that you bury us somewhere nearby so our babies know where we are.

If, after the year, you can’t make things work together, we would like you to remain in the same town. The kids will come to rely on you as a couple, like they did Hank and me. No matter what happens, they need to know you both will be there for them.

We don’t want a huge service, just something intimate with our closest friends so the kids can have some closure.

We love you both, and please let Ruby and Sawyer know that we did everything we could to return to them.

Anita and Hank

The house was so quiet that I swore I could hear it settling. I reached for the letter and read it repeatedly, hoping I’d find something different, but the words never changed.

“Now isn’t a great time for me to be away from the ranch for a year, but if you want to be in Bozeman, I can make it work,” Ryder said, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up at him.

“I can move back to Weston Gap. There’s nothing in Bozeman for me.

The law office I’m at isn’t what I thought it would be, and I can help Mom and Lydia with Dad and the bar.

Later, I can hang out my shingle and practice there.

” The words that came out of my mouth would have stunned most people, but I had already been considering moving back home.

“My place isn’t big enough for the four of us.” He ran his hands through his hair—his tell when he was feeling anxious. Making sure the kids had the space they needed would bring up things from his past he’d done his best to push aside.

“We could move to Mom and Dad’s place. Could that be close enough to the Diamond for you?”

“Yeah, I could make that work.” He nodded.

It had always been the plan: once my mom and dad were ready to move away, Ryder and I would move into the big, old, rambling farmhouse. I never dreamed we’d be moving in there after all these years apart, but nothing would make me break the last request my best friend would ever have of me.

“In the morning, I’ll call the ranch and have them prepare the plots in the ranch cemetery.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk.

“Will the guys be okay with that?”

“Of course they will be.” His answer was quick, and he nodded slowly.

“I shouldn’t have even asked. That’s just who they are.” I smiled at him, knowing it was the truth. Ruby and Swayer might have lost their parents, but today they gained four uncles.

“The girls will also be happy to help with the kids.”

“Girls?”

“Kipp, Nash, and Griff are married. Well, Griff just today, but still, he counts.” He smiled, and I looked at the man across from me.

“Nora used to work at Fred’s Cafe. Anyway, she married Kipp, and she has a son, Cooper.

Fallon came home with Josie and then had a baby as soon as she walked in the door.

Now there’s Lottie, so Nash is a girl dad. ”

I couldn’t help but smile. I knew Nora from popping into Fred’s café now and again.

I could see Nash being a great girl dad, but also maybe terrifying when it came time for them to start dating.

“Elle has Parker, and Griff is over the moon. Parker’s deaf, so we all learned ASL.

We don’t use it often, but if he has issues with his implant, we don’t have any barrier to talk to him.

” Ryder smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and I knew it had nothing to do with the situation we were in right now.

He wanted to be that man, and I wasn’t able to make that happen for him.

“Wow, it seems a lot has changed around there.” I crossed my arms and leaned back in the chair.

I’d made it a point not to ask about what was happening on the Diamond, and my family knew better than to volunteer that information.

Additionally, I had limited my visits to just Mom and Dad’s place to avoid the town and all the gossip.

“Julie’s seeing Phil.” The corner of his mouth turned up, and he shook his head.

“Phil? Like Phil the PI, Phil?” I asked, sitting up a little straighter.

“One and the same. They were even sneaking around for a while.” He laughed, and I felt the tension in the room lift slightly.

“That’s good. Julie deserves to be happy.” She’d loved her first husband so fiercely that I’d looked up to her and the relationship she’d had with Miller.

“Griff’s parents bought the old Christmas tree farm.” A genuine smile crossed his face when he brought up Griff’s mom and dad.

“I did know that. Griff asked me to draw up the title changes. It’s nice they’re closer for you guys.

” Griff’s parents had basically made Ryder their unofficial son.

Sometimes, I wondered if they’d wanted to adopt him and make him a Harp, but it seemed ridiculous to do that as an adult.

Part of me wished they had, because then maybe the boy who’d never belonged anywhere could be the man who did.

“I don’t need to tell you about Linc and Kristin.

I’m sure you’re up on all that.” Ryder shook his head, and I could tell what he was thinking without him saying it.

My cousin Kristin and Lincoln Felder had been on and off for years.

They were like oil and water, but they didn’t seem to be one without the other.

He was right. Linc was the only one of the five I got updates about because of Kristin.

I had so much I wanted to say to him, but I didn’t know where to begin.