Page 23 of Rancher’s Strength (Flying Diamond 5, #4)

Chapter Nineteen

LEXIE

“ O kay, it’s Grandma Julie night, all kids get in the van.” Julie’s clear, strong voice cut through the noise of the house, and all the kids headed for the door.

Ruby turned to look at me, her eyes full of concern. Other than when she was at school, we’d been with her and Sawyer constantly over the last two weeks. “Hey, it’s okay. I can go home with you if you want.” I whispered as I crouched down in front of her.

“You and Uncle Ryder will come back, right?” Her small voice ripped my heart out.

“Oh, my girl, of course we will.” I wrapped my arms around her, and she clung to me. The room went quiet as I watched everyone usher their kids out of the room. “I know this is hard, and like I said, we can just go home.”

“I want to go with everyone, but I just got worried for a minute.”

“It’s completely fine to have those feelings, honey,” Ryder said as he gently placed his large hand on Ruby’s back.

“We have to talk about them, so I’m happy you said something.

” We’d been going to therapy since we’d gotten back to Weston Gap.

The kids had their own time, and then we had time as a family.

Most of the appointments were spent encouraging the kids to share what they were feeling and to open up to us no matter what they needed to say.

“Can I text you?”

“Of course, you can,” I said as I smiled up at her.

“Okay, I want to go with Julie.” Ruby’s smile was cautious, but the fear had faded from her features.

“How about I text Julie when we get to the restaurant?” Ryder said as he took Ruby’s hand and headed out of the room.

“That would be good.” She nodded and then looked up at him. Shifting, I sat on the couch; the worry subsided slightly.

“Ryder’s a good father figure,” Elle said as she took a seat beside me. Griff and Ryder were best friends, so I wanted to get to know Elle better. She was lovely and easy to talk to, and I was sure that in time we’d be best friends too.

“It’s the reason I divorced him the first time,” I said quietly.

Turning, I saw the confusion on her face that she was trying to hide.

“I can’t have kids. I’ve known it all my life, and I came to terms with it when I was younger.

Then I met Ryder, and he assured me it didn’t matter, but I saw him with kids, and I knew it wasn’t fair to keep him tied to me when being a dad and having a family was all he’d ever wanted.

” My voice trailed off. It wasn’t easy talking about this to anyone.

“So, I drew up divorce papers and pretended to move on. I’d hoped Ryder had found someone he could be happy with and have the family I know he’d always wanted.”

“And I told you, the only person I’ve ever needed was you.”

His husky voice filtered through the living room, and I turned to look at him.

“So, do you think we can move on from this now?”

I smiled tightly at him and looked at Elle, who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Let’s go to the bar. Crazy things happen there.” Elle said, with a huge grin on her face.

“Yeah, like your husband starting fights.” Ryder scoffed.

“Griff got into a fight at this bar? That couldn’t have gone over well with Lydia.” I laughed at the thought.

Elle laughed and shook her head. “It didn’t. She kicked Griff out, and I thought Ryder was going to hit on Lydia.”

“Yeah, he’s not really my sister’s type.

” I looked at Ryder, and he shook his head.

My sister came out to me years ago, and I became fiercely protective of her.

For a long time, she tried to ignore her feelings, and she’d had a few boyfriends over the years, but they were just to stop rumors.

When she finally admitted it to everyone, nobody was overly surprised, and anyone who mattered in her life was supportive.

The rest we all cut out of our lives, which was for the better.

“Well, I didn’t expect that, but good for her,” Elle said, smiling at me.

Music blared from inside the bar, and I wondered if this was a mistake, maybe we should have just stayed home. Nora pulled the door open, and we all walked in, heading straight for their table. “I’m going to check in with Lydia, I’ll be there in a sec,” I called out as I split off from the girls.

“Hey Lex, what can I get you?” Lydia asked.

“Dr. Pepper and a bag of chips,” I called down to her. She frowned as she let go of the beer tap and slid the glass of beer down the bar. As if she’d suddenly figured it out, she slapped her hand on the bar and looked at me wide-eyed.

“Get your ass to the office. I’ll be right there.” She glanced down the bar, and I followed her gaze to where Faith sat. Lydia held up a finger, indicating she’d be gone for a minute, and Faith nodded.

“You didn’t even make it three weeks,” she said as she let the door close behind her.

“How long have you and Faith been a thing?”

“We’re not a thing, and we’re talking about you and your ex-husband, husband.”

“Faith’s been here for two weeks. Was she your date the other night?”

“You first.”

“Fine. After I left here the other night, he was waiting on the porch for me.”

“Oh god, did you have porch sex? I’ll have to use the back door from now on. I won’t be able to look at the porch again without thinking of that.” She gagged, and I grabbed the pen that was on the desk and threw it at her.

“We did, and I’ll make sure the back door is locked so you have to use the front door.” I stuck my tongue out at her, and she gagged. “Faith? Spill it.”

“It just kind of happened. I came to the office looking for you, and she was there. And there were vibes, you know.” Lydia shrugged. “So I asked if she’d like to hang out, and, well, we hung out for the rest of the weekend and every night since.”

“You’re why she keeps turning me down to come to the house for supper.” I pointed at my sister and watched the red hue creep up her neck and over her cheeks. “This is good, Lyds,” I almost squealed as I clapped.

“Back to you, how was it?”

“Perfect. The same. New.” I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

“Why do you look sad?”

“The end doesn’t change.” I shrugged. “I can’t give him what he wants most.”

“Why are you the only one that can’t see the only thing he wants is you?

Fine, you can’t give him kids that exit your body.

But you have two kids now, and through very bad circumstances, you’ve given them to him.

Anita was your friend, you four were friends because of you.

Would you please stop selling yourself short because you can’t eject a kid?

” She got up from her chair and walked in front of me.

Lydia took my face in her hands and made me look at her. “Stop blaming yourself.”

Was my sister right? Of course, she was, but I wasn’t going to admit that. I had brought these two kids into Ryder’s life, and he was the perfect fill-in dad, just like I knew he would be. But was it enough to prove to myself that I was a woman?

“I kind of want to go stare at a girl, so if we can wrap this up, I’d be really happy.”

“Lyds, thanks.” I wrapped my arms around her.

“I wish it was me instead of you.” She whispered in my ear. It was something she’d told me over and over. She’d known all her life she didn’t want to carry a child and would say nature had messed things up. My nose stung like it always did when she said it, and I held her tighter.

We walked out of her office just as the band finished a song.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we have the opportunity to have a revival of L&L, the Fencepost’s most requested duo.

” I stopped in my tracks and looked at Lydia.

Dad used to make us perform once a month so he didn’t have to pay for a band.

When I left for school, I put it behind me and tried to forget those years.

I shook my head and started to walk back to the table where the girls were, but the chant began from the back of the room: L&L, L&L, L&L. Looking through the haze, I saw Ryder, Nash, Kipp, Griff, and Linc standing on their chairs, leading the request. Glancing at Lydia, she shrugged.

“I will if you will.” She smiled, but I couldn’t say no to her. Marching up on the stage, I grabbed the mic from Weston.

“Fine, but the fuckers from the Diamond better get their asses up here and back us up.” I stared out at the five fools still standing on their chairs, who had frozen mid-cheer.

“Come on, boys. We might as well make it a worthwhile show tonight.” I watched as the girls at the table egged their men on, and they reluctantly made their way to the stage.

The band handed over their instruments, and we all huddled in a group.

“What are we doing?” I whispered.

“Making fools of ourselves, apparently,” Lydia chimed in flatly, and I rolled my eyes.

“What are we starting with?”

“I’ve got it.” Ryder started picking the strings on his guitar, and I shook my head. “Come on, sweetheart, sing it.” He grinned, and I looked at my sister as the rest of the guys took their places.

Walking to the microphone, I took a deep breath, and as if someone else had taken over, the first notes of “Girls Night Out” flowed from my mouth.

Lydia and I had always started with The Judds because we could make our vocals sound close to theirs.

The guys fell into sync with us, and by the end of the song, the jitters were gone and we were L&L backed by the Diamond 5 again.

The guys seemed to remember our set better than I did because they rolled right into another song.

I pulled the mic off the stand and belted out “Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses” like I’d sung it yesterday.

Turning, I looked at Ryder and winked at him as he played.

Effortlessly, his hands played chords and picked like he’d practiced every day.

I couldn’t even pretend I was hating this.

The song ended, and the crowd erupted with applause.

“How about a slow song? Pair up y'all.” The dance floor filled, and I looked over at Lydia, who nodded. Turning to Ryder, I mouthed the words “Meet Me in Montana,” and he took his spot beside me so we could use the same mic. We belted out the love song, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he sang.

The way his eyes lingered on my mouth, the way I leaned into him, would surely make the crowd talk when they left here, but I didn’t really care.

It’s what we wanted if anyone were to ask about our relationship.

I caught the eye of a blonde woman at the bar, who looked like she wanted to eat Ryder but kill me when her stare shifted my way.

Before I could second-guess myself, as the last of the chords were played, I grabbed Ryder’s shirt and pulled him to me.

His guitar was stuck between us, so he slung it back out of the way, and I pressed up against him.

Reaching up, I grabbed the back of his neck and dragged him to me.

Our mouths crashed together, and his free arm wrapped around my waist, lifting me off the floor.

His tongue slipped between my lips, and I melted against him.

The hot spotlight didn’t matter. It was just him and me in this moment.

Even the crowd cheering barely registered as I took in the softness of his lips, the passion of his kiss, and his secure grip on me.

Public displays of affection weren’t my style, but nobody was going to take my man from me.

My man—the thought sent electrical shockwaves through me.

I realized that no matter what, he was mine, and I never wanted to let him go.

This entire county needed to know I was back.

When our kiss ended, I slid down Ryder’s body, and the catcalls and hoots from the crowd made me bury my head in his chest.

“Well, Lex, I think you made a statement,” he said softly in my ear.

“All right, let’s get back to the regularly scheduled band. I’m not paying them to drink all the beer,” Lydia said, and we all walked off the stage.

The blonde at the bar stood, and I stopped in front of her. “There a problem?”

“He’s mine.”

“No honey, he’s mine. Always has been.” I winked and caught up with Ryder and the guys, but I slipped my hand into my man’s back pocket just to be clear.