Page 14 of Rancher’s Strength (Flying Diamond 5, #4)

Chapter Twelve

RYDER

K ipp and Griff had put a damper on the day, although there hadn’t been much celebrating before the fight. Everyone understood this wasn’t what it appeared to be, but we couldn’t risk everyone knowing.

“Uncle Ryder, is everything okay?” Ruby asked after I had tucked her into bed.

“Yeah, kiddo, it’s fine.” I pasted a smile on my face before I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “There’s nothing for you to worry about.” She nodded, but I wasn’t sure it would be the end of her questions. I’d answer everyone she had, but I was hoping for no more tonight.

Quietly, I passed Lexie in the hallway and walked into Sawyer’s room. “Well, little man, it’s time for bed.” He nodded, and I couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Could you teach me to fight?” Sawyer asked as he clenched his fist and pretended to box.

“I can when you’re older, but fighting should be the last resort.”

“Then why’d you fight today? Was it the last resort?”

“No, pal, it wasn’t, and I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”

“You going to say sorry to your friends?” His voice was so sweet, and I hated myself for what I was about to tell him.

“No, because I’m not sorry. I shouldn’t have punched Kipp, but he and Griff really hurt Auntie Lexie and me, so I think they’re the ones who need to apologize first.”

“Being an adult seems hard.” His little brows furrowed, and he shook his head. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It is sometimes. Goodnight pal.” He reached out for a hug, and I held him tightly before letting him go, pulling the blankets up and tucking them around him just how he wanted them.

I moved to the door and flicked off the light, leaving his door open just a crack so the light from the hallway shone in, allowing him to see if he needed to get up.

Slowly, I walked down the stairs, undoing the top few buttons on my shirt.

The couch was calling my name, and I flopped down onto it, closing my eyes as I let my head fall back against the cushions.

What a disaster of a day. I knew no one was truly happy about what we were doing, and they clearly didn’t understand why—but they couldn’t even pretend to accept it.

I didn’t need them to like it, just to acknowledge it for what it was.

“Need this?” Lexie’s voice cut through my thoughts. Opening my eyes, I lifted my head and saw her standing beside me with a beer in one hand and a bag of frozen vegetables in the other.

“Yes,” I huffed as I took them from her. She’d changed since I’d seen her in the hallway. She wore short shorts and an oversized T-shirt. A shirt that wasn’t oversized on me but was almost a dress on her. I thought she’d walk away, but she took a seat beside me on the couch.

“Why didn’t I know?”

“It’s not something I talk about. And since our marriage ending was the cause of it, I didn’t think opening up to you was the right thing to do.” Sarcasm hung heavy in my words, and I didn’t even try to hide it.

“Ry.”

“Lexie, I’m fine. I saw a therapist—well, I see a therapist. I went on anti-depressants, which I still take religiously to this day, and I’ve been fine since.”

“But how can you even look at me, knowing I caused that?” Her voice was so quiet and filled with guilt.

“Lex, here’s the thing: you didn’t cause anything. Truth be told, I’ve been struggling with depression most of my life. I learned that in therapy.” Shifting on the couch, I wanted to look at her to make her see it wasn’t her at all. “Please don’t beat yourself up over this.”

“Is there anything I need to watch for?”

“No, there’s nothing, as long as I stay on my meds and I keep talking to my therapist.”

“How often do you talk to them?”

“Once a month now, I might make an appointment for this week; though, there’s been a lot going on.” I smiled at her, and relief filled her eyes.

“Okay.” She nodded and bit the corner of her mouth. “So not to change the subject but Ruby asked if we’d be sleeping in the same room now that we’re married.”

“I suppose we should. If anyone questions the kids, they won’t be able to avoid telling the truth.”

“That’s what I thought too.”

“Where’d the cake get to?” I asked as I leaned over and peered into the kitchen. “I didn’t get any.”

“Well, the kids got into it, but there’s a few pieces left.” When she came back into the living room, she was carrying the slab of cake that was left and two forks. Setting the cake between us on the couch, she handed me a fork and took a seat gently so she didn’t jostle the cake and make a mess.

“Do I get to feed you a piece?”

“Same rules as last time, even though I’ve cried off my makeup and gotten out of my dress.”

“Sweetheart, smashing cake in your face is disrespectful and not something I’d ever do at a real or fake wedding.

” I stuck my fork in the cake and pulled off a piece, holding it out for her.

Watching Lexie wrap her lips around my fork sent a shock wave to my cock.

I had to will it to settle down. If there was one thing we didn’t need to complicate our lives right now, it was my desire for my wife.

“Mmm, that’s good.” She sighed and let her head fall onto the back of the couch. When she finished, she held out some cake for me to eat, and I had to agree it was one of the best cakes I’d ever tasted.

The day might not have played out as we’d thought, but right now, sitting here with a bag of frozen peas on my hand and eating copious amounts of cake with my wife, life almost seems perfect again. I definitely need to call the therapist on Monday morning.

Lexie’s eyes grew heavy, the stress of the day taking a toll on her. “Time for bed,” I whispered as I stood from the couch. Lexie nodded and reached for the cake. “No, I’ll clean this up, go get ready.”

“Thanks, Ry.” She smiled, and I watched her scantily clad ass as she walked down the hallway to the room we’d share, to the bed we’d both be sleeping in.

I methodically turned off the lights and made my way to the bedroom.

A glow from the doorway indicated that Lexie had left the light on for me, just as she always had when we were actually married.

Slowly, I unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it off as I walked past the foot of the bed.

I didn’t need to look at Lexie to know she was watching my every move.

“See something you like?” I asked as I dropped my jeans and stepped out of them before turning to the bed.

“Shut up,” she mumbled and tossed one of the small throw pillows at my head. I caught it before it made contact and laughed. “You’re going to put something on, right?” She frowned and let her eyes drift down my body.

“Nope. This is real, right?” I wiggled my eyebrows and crawled into bed, before flicking off the lamp beside me. The heat from her body radiated over to me, and all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms.

“You’re thinking out loud,” I grumbled as I turned over and searched the darkness for her outline.

“It’s weird.”

“What’s weird?”

“We’re in my parents’ room. Together,” she whispered, and the mattress shifted as she rolled over and faced me.

“That’s not what I thought you were thinking about, but now that I know, yeah, it’s kind of weird.” I agreed. “Maybe we should move into one of the rooms upstairs. I know your old room.”

“No, that might be even worse than this room.”

“You never thought of sneaking into your old room and making out?”

“We’re not making out, Ryder,” she said flatly.

“I didn’t say we were going to. I was just asking.”

“Fine, I’ve already made out with a boy in my room. My parents weren’t home, and Lydia was with them, so we came back here and, well, made out.”

“Why do I not know this?” I whispered in the dark.

“I didn’t exactly think to talk about ex-boyfriends when we were together.” She giggled, and I reached out to brush my thumb over her cheek. The moonlight shines through the window, and I could see her soft features shimmering in the pale light.

“Because I pushed every one of them out of your mind, and you could only remember me in your life?” I asked with a hint of humor in my voice.

“Yeah, that’s it.” She pulled her arm out from being tucked in and punched my shoulder, laughing.

It was so amazing to hear her laugh. We’d been more than avoiding one another for so long, and when we stumbled upon each other, we avoided each other like the plague.

Now, here in the darkness of the room we were sharing, we couldn’t avoid each other.

“Who was it?” I asked as jealousy over her teenage boyfriend bubbled up within me.

“It was nobody.” She tried to brush it away.

“Alexandra.”

“I’m serious, Ryder; it doesn’t even matter.”

“I’ll give you one more opportunity to answer, and then I’m pulling out the big guns.” And I wiggled my fingertips at her. She hated being tickled; it might as well have been a torture maneuver for her.

“Fine, it was Kipp, are you happy now?” She grabbed my hands and slammed them down on the bed.

“How in all these years did I not know that you and Kipp had been a thing?”

“Because we weren’t a thing. It was just that one time. We made out for a while and then realized it was too weird, and it never happened again.”

“Do I have to worry about you sneaking him back into the house?” I joked.

“Yeah, couldn’t you tell from our earlier interaction there’s a fiery passion we’re dying to explore?” She pushed me, causing me to roll over onto my back as I laughed.

“Ryder, are you really okay?” She whispered her question, immediately changing the feeling in the room. And lying here beside her, I felt more vulnerable than I had in a very long time. Old me would have lied, trying to pretend everything was fine.