Page 15
CHAPTER 15
I t took several days to reach the cave rumored to house the eternal flame. The terrain grew increasingly treacherous as we journeyed—thick underbrush and twisted vines obscured the narrow path, while the dense canopy above stifled the light, casting deep shadows that flickered almost sinisterly, as if they were living remnants of the darkness that once enfolded the land, determined to thwart us.
A sudden crack echoed through the forest, and a thick branch came crashing into our path. I jolted to a stop, my pulse quickening. As the dust settled, I noticed an eerie sheen clinging to its surface—a murky black substance that oozed along the bark like a stain of corruption. Darcel crouched beside it, running a cautious hand just above the surface without touching it. By his grim expression, it was yet another sign of the cursed decay lingering in the land. I winced as I noticed the trees along our path; innumerable leaves were edged with black, curling with death.
The landscape eventually shifted from dense forest to rocky terrain. Kael took the lead, me and Prince Darcel close behind, with Sir Jiang bringing up the rear, our eyes scanning for any sign of the cavern’s entrance. We carefully navigated the sharp cliffs and loose stones, the slick ground beneath us a treacherous mix of mud and wet leaves that made every measured step precarious.
Despite my meticulous attention as we traversed a particularly narrow ledge overlooking a precipitous drop, a loose stone underfoot suddenly shifted beneath my weight. My foot slipped, sending a cascade of small rocks clattering down the cliffside. In an instant I lost my balance, my body careening sideways. My hands grasped futilely at the air as I slid down the mountainside, my body dangerously close to tumbling into the abyss below.
Before panic could fully seize me, Prince Darcel reacted swiftly, lunging after me without a moment’s hesitation. One strong hand clamped around my arm with an ironclad grip, the strength in his pull unyielding, while the other gripped the crumbling edge of the path. With a determined yank, he halted my descent, pulling me towards him and away from the gaping void.
But before he could drag both of us back up, another rock gave way and we tumbled down together, frantically grasping for handholds until our feet hit something solid. We scrambled to find footing on a narrow, precarious ledge that jutted out partway down the cliff’s face. This scant refuge—barely wider than a footpath—pressed against the mountain side, offered a temporary haven from the sheer drop, allowing us a moment to catch our breath.
He instinctively positioned himself between me and the edge and met my eyes, his gaze intense with concern. “Are you alright, Ren?” The relief surrounding the name of my disguise anchored me back to who I was supposed to be and the precarious reality we faced.
I couldn’t answer, my entire focus eclipsed by how closely we stood—the firm lines of his body pressed securely against mine, as well as the safety from the protective cage his arms created, shielding me from another fall. With a whimper I squeezed my eyes shut and instinctively burrowed myself against him.
He stiffened uncomfortably and awkwardly patted my shoulder. “It’s alright,” he said gently. “I’ve got you.” In the lingering fear from our near fall I didn’t even care about how such a gesture could be perceived or the awkwardness brought by my vulnerability, too desperate for the steadiness Prince Darcel’s presence created.
I drew a breath, looking down to ensure that my satchel still hung at my side, firmly latched to keep my herbal treasures secure. Lumis was still securely attached and seemingly without a scratch, although the lantern was now adorned with a leafy stem that had caught the handle during our rapid descent.
Frantic footsteps sounded from above, and the next instant Sir Jiang and Kael peered over the ledge we’d tumbled down. Relief filled their ashen expressions at seeing us unharmed. “Are you alright, Your Highness?” Sir Jiang called, his typically even voice tight with concern.
Prince Darcel tipped his head back to offer a strained but reassuring smile. “I’m fine, Jiang.”
“And Ren?”
I was grateful to have been remembered, evidence that despite his lack of outward approval, Sir Jiang was gradually softening towards me.
Prince Darcel’s hold instinctively tightened around me. “He’s fine too. I’ve got him.”
Both released heavy exhales of relief. “Thank goodness,” Sir Jiang said. “Stay put, I’m coming after you.”
Prince Darcel shook his head. “It’s too dangerous. We’ll find a way back up to you.”
By Sir Jiang’s fierce expression, he looked ready to defy Prince Darcel’s orders and leap off the ledge to rescue us, but sense worked on his perception enough to understand the gravity of such a situation. He eyed the narrow ledge where we balanced—far too narrow to support his weight—and sighed before digging through his pack and pulling out the rope that we’d used previously to tie ourselves together. I wasn’t sure whether to wish we’d been bound together again to prevent this fall…or to be grateful we hadn’t in case the momentum would have sent all four of us over the cliff.
Kael shook his head, motioning for Jiang to put the rope away. “That’s not necessary. We’ll meet you over there.” He pointed to where the ledge wound around the mountainside and eventually met back up with the trail.
Reluctantly Jiang nodded. “Be careful, Your Highness.” Genuine worry filled his voice towards his master.
He and Kael lingered long enough to ensure we didn’t fall as we began to inch our way along the cliffside. Prince Darcel kept me pinned to him, oblivious to how this practical safety measure affected me. I was grateful for the security his hold offered, certain the dizziness rendered by his proximity would cause me to lose my footing all over again. Yet though he protected me from another fall, he put my heart in grave danger of falling even harder for him, one from which at this point I feared there was no recovery.
We’d only gone a few paces when I noticed something warm and wet against my thigh. I glanced down and startled at the dark, crimson blood seeping through a tear in his trousers. “You’re injured!” My stomach churched, and I might have succumbed to my sudden wave of lightheadedness if not for his firm grip around my body, his touch heat upon my waist.
A grimace tightened his expression, as if the fading adrenaline was finally allowing him to experience the full extent of our near fall. “I’m fine.” But the words came out strained, filled with underlying pain. He gave my own body a quick perusal. “Are you hurt?”
I felt bruised from the tumble, but otherwise I was unscathed—at least physically. The fact I remained injury free while he’d been so badly hurt due to my clumsiness only deepened my guilt. My breathlessness made it nearly impossible to speak, but I had to know what had motivated him to do something so foolish. “Why did you?—”
He sighed. “I wouldn’t just allow you to die. Give me some credit.”
Shame burned my cheeks. “I’m sorry, that’s not what I?—”
He cut me off again. “In situations like this, gratitude is more appreciated than unnecessary apologies.”
I mumbled my thanks, feeling a flush of warmth despite the cool air that wasn’t entirely due to the near fall. He offered a simple nod in response and focused his attention on the task at hand, studying the narrow ledge carefully for the best way to circumnavigate it.
We leaned heavily on each other as we carefully limped along the mountain’s edge until the narrow, rocky path opened up into a wider, grassy area. However, our relief was short-lived as we encountered a dense thicket of vibrant green plants blocking our path, adorned with innocuous-looking white flowers belying a deadly secret.
I extended a cautious hand to halt Prince Darcel, warily eying the flower’s deceptive beauty. “Careful. These are frosthelm blossoms. Their pollen is highly toxic.”
Prince Darcel adjusted his hold on me and attempted to navigate around the perilous plants, but his injury and the extra weight of supporting me compromised his balance. As he stumbled, our combined momentum threatened to send us crashing into the thicket. In a desperate move to protect me, he twisted his body at the last second, positioning himself to take the brunt of the fall and shield me from the poisonous blooms.
I clapped a hand over my nose and mouth as a cloud of pollen filled the air, frantically motioning with the other for the prince to follow my example. Dazed from the fall, he inhaled deeply before he could cover his face. Pain instantly twisted his expression and he coughed up blood, confirming my worst fears.
“Darcel!”
Pulling my tunic up as a makeshift mask, I rushed to his side, steadying him as he struggled to stay upright, his body already weakening from the poison. It was my turn to support him, guiding him to a safer spot a short distance away, where I gently eased him down against an old pine before snatching a soft cloth from my satchel and brushing the remnants of the pollen from his face.
He collapsed against the rough bark, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. His face was pale and blood dripped from his lips, tinged blue as the effects of the poison quickly took hold. Panic surged, but I forced it down. I needed to be calm and methodical. His life depended on it.
I first mixed a paste of groundsnap root, known for its properties to stave off effects, buying precious time to create the antidote. I mixed it with a few drops of water and applied it to his temples and neck, where the skin would absorb the remedy most effectively.
I then rummaged through my pack for antidotis—which could counteract this type of quick-acting poison—but my fingers closed around empty air; with my focus so consumed on the herbs I’d need for my disguise I hadn’t thought to bring any. My heart sank. Without the full complement of herbs, I couldn’t concoct the powerful antidote needed to save him.
Anxiety threatened to rise and cripple me, but determination set in, firm and unyielding. Such a setback wouldn’t stop me—nature often provided, even in the direst of circumstances.
I recalled the diverse flora I’d noticed during our ascent as I scanned the forest edges and undergrowth with a critical eye. The lush greenery transformed, morphing from mere scenery to potential ingredients to craft a detoxifying agent powerful enough to counteract poison.
A few meters away I spotted a cluster of broadleaf fennel, its yellow flowers bobbing gently in the light breeze; known for its anti-inflammatory properties, it could reduce some symptoms of poisoning. Nearby, shadowroot—distinguishable by its deep purple leaves—grew in abundance. While not as potent as the herbs in my original recipe, it was known to be a mild antidote for toxins. I gathered as much as I could carry.
I returned to the prince and laid out the herbs with shaking fingers. My mind raced as I crushed the leaves and flowers, trying to calculate the right proportions to mimic the effects of the more potent antidote. Under my breath, I whispered old apothecary songs my father had taught me, each note a plea for their potency to increase.
Mixed with a bit of water from my flask, I fashioned a paste. It was a far cry from the antidote I would have preferred to make, but it was the best possible option given the circumstances. I applied the mixture to Prince Darcel’s lips, coaxing him to swallow despite his weakened state.
“Stay with me,” I urged, my voice steady even as my hands trembled. “This will slow the poison.”
As the minutes ticked by, I chanted every spell I could think of that might drive out the toxins. Prince Darcel’s breathing gradually eased and the pallor of his skin gave way to a faint flush as the color slowly returned to his cheeks, the first sign of recovery. Relief washed over me in an overwhelming wave, but I kept vigilant, monitoring his every breath, ready to react at the slightest change. In that desperate hour as I sat beside him, watching for signs of improvement, I fully realized just how much I had come to care for him beyond the confines of our quest.
After what felt like an eternity he finally opened his eyes, meeting my worried gaze with a weak smile, his own filled with gratitude and something softer, more tender. He offered a rueful smile. “Seems I owe you my life. Thank you, Ren.”
The use of my assumed name reminded me of the barrier still between us. My heart wrenched, but I tried to disguise the emotion by waving off his thanks with a shy smile. “Just returning the favor.” Guilt stirred, weighing every word with the secret I struggled to keep hidden.
But it was becoming more and more impossible. The deepening of our connection as I sat watching over him as he recovered—a bond forged through care and crisis—caused me to instinctively hide behind the briskness I often used as a shield against my vulnerability. Now that the crisis had passed, I felt a rush of anger.
“The favor for a nobody like me nearly cost you your life. This is what you get for being so noble.” I couldn’t believe the prince had sustained yet another grave injury on my behalf in so short a time.
He chuckled, far too used to my brusqueness to be bothered by it anymore. “Glad you’re so worried about me. Guess you don’t hate me after all.”
Hate was the last thing I felt, a truth that grew more alarming with each moment we shared.
As the remedy began to take effect, the prince slowly regained his strength. His pride urged him back to his feet, but when he attempted to rise I pushed him back down.
He sighed. “You never turn down an opportunity to fight me on something, even when I’m in such a delicate condition.” But he obediently remained still.
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t resist the smile tugging on my lips, even though now was not the time to engage in the banter that had become both familiar and comforting. “I beg you to humor me, considering it’s my fault you currently find yourself in such a state. Once again you were forced to come to my rescue. I’m sorry you got injured due to my folly.”
He dismissed the gravity of the situation with a shrug. “It’s an honor for a leader to help a comrade in need.” Despite his attempts at gallantry and reassurance I wasn’t fully appeased.
I lowered my gaze. “I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Your able nursing proves that you’re anything but. I told you before that we each have our unique strengths—each member of this group is necessary to the success of our endeavor, but none of us are equipped to handle every challenge that comes our way.”
While I valued my skills, I wanted to be more than an herbalist, a subconscious desire that had grown ever since our first meeting when he’d refused to allow me to accompany them because I was a girl. As much as I cherished each moment of his rescue, they only confirmed my fear that he had been right to deny my participation.
I kept these secret fears safely locked away, but I sensed his thoughtful study as he searched my expression. Though he didn’t say anything more, I could tell my words had bothered him.
The prince winced slightly as he shifted his position, trying to hide his discomfort, but his stoicism could no longer fool someone who had been as close to him as I had over these past several days. I followed his gaze down to his leg, where the fabric of his trousers was darkened with blood. With his poisoning previously dominating my attention, I’d nearly forgotten about his injury.
“Let me see that.” I did my best to keep my voice firm despite the flutter of nerves in my stomach. I had never been good with wounds, which had always been my father's domain back in our apothecary—I dealt with the salves for ailments while he directly dealt with a patient’s treatment. The one time he’d needed my assistance in a surgical procedure had nearly ended in disaster when I grew faint.
Prince Darcel managed another weak smile. “Two favors from you in one day. I count myself fortunate.”
“Considering you saved me twice in just as short a time, I must pay my debts.”
The prince reluctantly pulled back the fabric to reveal a deep gash on his thigh. My stomach lurched and a wave of doubt washed over me. Was I capable enough to handle this? Despite these fears, the need to care for him propelled me forward.
“We need to get this cleaned and dressed,” I murmured, more to steady my own resolve than to inform him. Scouring the area once more, I crouched to gather moss, my fingers brushing over the damp earth as I searched for yarrow flowers, knowing their styptic properties would help prevent infection and stem the bleeding.
I spotted a cluster growing at the base of a gnarled stump, but unease prickled at my skin as I reached for it. The plant was twisted and stunted, its normally vibrant leaves tinged with an unhealthy black, the curse leeching the life from it, rendering them unusable.
I hastily rummaged through my satchel for the yarrow I had gathered earlier. Relief washed over me when I spotted some dried sprigs I’d overlooked in my first panicked perusal, these ones thankfully untouched by the corruption that had seeped into the land. This would have to do.
I paused upon noticing some leftover ironbark shavings, a component that would add strength and resilience to the antidote…though using it would nearly deplete a key ingredient in my disguise, putting me at risk of exposure should I fail to replenish it. I hesitated but the moment was fleeting, the risk of getting caught nothing to the value of Darcel’s life. I would sacrifice my greatest secret if it meant saving him.
I crushed the leaves and bark together, mixing them with a bit of clean water from my flask to form a paste. I gently cleaned the wound with water—wincing at the stark red of his blood against his pale skin—then applied the herbal paste. He stiffened and his jaw locked, tensing against the pain.
His discomfort only heightened my anxiety that I would mess up, hurting him further. My hands shook as I applied the concoction, the urgency making my movements clumsy.
Prince Darcel suddenly reached out and rested his hand over mine, stilling the movement. “There’s no need to be nervous. I trust you.”
Words that should have brought me warm reassurance instead only stirred the guilt ever closer to the surface, the conflicting emotions brought by my deceit deepening with every interaction the more I grew to care for him.
His touch sent a jolt of heat up my arm, extending its reach to curl around my heart. Afraid I would be tempted to do something as ridiculous as hold his hand, I instinctively yanked mine away. He frowned, but though he didn’t say anything, his frustration was evident in every line of his serious yet achingly handsome expression.
My heart prickled that my actions had inadvertently given him that look. I busied myself with my herbs, but concentration was impossible when his sharp look followed my every move, muddling my thoughts.
His heavy sigh yanked my attention back to him. “Are you alright? Are you in pain?” I hovered over him, frantically scanning every inch for injuries I might have missed.
He shook his head. “I am simply at a loss. No matter how much I try, I can’t seem to get you to like me.”
My heart jolted. Had he detected the feelings I’d done my best to keep hidden? “You want me to like you?” My voice hitched on the word. My interest in him often felt like an overwhelming presence, becoming more and more impossible to conceal with every interaction. Should he detect it, my disguise as a boy would unravel.
He rolled his eyes. “Not like that . Goodness, who do you take me for?”
“Of course.” My cheeks burned, making me extra grateful for the faint light cast by the shade. “Then…what did you mean?”
He pouted slightly, a newly discovered childish impulse that only made his character all the more fascinating. “No one has so adamantly disliked me before. Even in my relationships with particularly difficult advisors or noble officials, I’ve never felt I’d made so little progress in such a lengthy amount of time.”
My lips twitched, tempted to smile due to my pleasure that he cared so much for my good opinion. “Is my dislike harming your precious princely ego?”
“Of course not.” But his voice hitched on his hasty insistence, betraying his lie. At my continued skepticism his defensiveness crumbled, his shoulders curling inwards.
“You’re just making me question whether in the past I’ve given myself too much credit and in truth everyone has simply pretended to like me for the sake of my title, and not because there’s anything about me that’s worthy of their regard.” His voice sounded small, revealing a rare vulnerability of what I suspected was a deeply rooted fear of his.
“You believe I may be the first person not willing to play the game you fear the rest of the court is playing?”
He hesitated before slowly nodding. Remorse filled me for how my actions had been misconstrued, especially when I myself understood all too well how it felt to question my worth—though my measurements towards my strict standards of being fit to uphold my family’s legacy were different than the prince’s constant wondering if those who surrounded him behaved genuinely, the sentiment was the same, a similarity that drew my heart closer to his.
“I cannot provide the assurances you need about the court. Some very well might be pretending, their show of consideration and respect nothing more than a ploy to garner your royal favor.”
He flinched, as if my words had struck him.
“But,” I hastened to add. “I can at least reassure you that I possess no such motives. My interactions with you are genuine.” Though I meant the words truthfully, I couldn’t deny I put on my own charade, even if it was far different than the potential performance of the royal court in their efforts to garner favor.
Though unlike others who might be pretending, the reasoning behind my determined distance wasn’t dislike at all. Quite the opposite. I didn’t immediately speak as I methodically wound the bandage around his leg, unable to lift my gaze to meet his eyes. “Your Highness?—”
“Darcel,” he interrupted, his tone grumpy even midst his weakness.
I startled. “What?”
“You said my name when you were worried about me, only to revert to formality now. You are the only member of our entourage that still insists on using my title, and considering our current circumstances and your previous insistences that my royal position means nothing to you, I think familiarity is long overdue.”
My frantically pounding heart seemed to have seized my voice, making it impossible to respond. I couldn’t deny I yearned to address him casually without his title acting as yet another barrier between us, even as progressing to a first name basis seemed almost dangerous considering my secret feelings towards him.
In the end, my longings were too strong to resist. “Darcel,” I whispered, the name delightful on my lips.
The shadow of a smile lit his expression, warming my heart. “Ren.”
Despite the tenderness of such a monumental moment, sadness twinged my heart that while I’d earned the privilege of addressing him as a friend, the name he used for me wasn’t my own, but instead a constant reminder of my lie dividing us, making him feel further out of reach even with this progress in our relationship.
I forced myself to return my focus to the tending our conversation had interrupted. The next step was finding something to bind the wound. I started to reach for my own shirt but hesitated, afraid tearing off even a portion would expose too much of my feminine body, betraying my disguise. He sensed my reluctance, and even without understanding the reason, he weakly motioned towards his own. I used a strip to carefully wrap his leg, tying the makeshift bandage securely but not too tightly, my hands steady despite my raging turmoil.
As I worked, I found my thoughts drifting from the task at hand to the man who’d come to mean so much to me. It wasn't just about saving a companion but someone important to my heart, whose life had become intertwined with my own in ways I hadn't anticipated when I’d first donned my disguise.
His gaze was intense as he watched me. “Thank you, Ren.” I knew his gratitude extended beyond the nursing I had just rendered to the conversation that we’d shared.
The quiet of the forest felt more intimate than ever before. I avoided his eyes to hide the emotions swirling within me, fighting to keep my voice steady though my heart was anything but. “You’re welcome.”
After I ensured he was comfortable, I sat back, a quiet pride settling over me. I had faced my inadequacy head-on and had not found myself wanting. Perhaps I was capable of more than I’d always given myself credit for. The prince’s soft, grateful smile told me I had done well, and in that moment I allowed myself to believe it.
The fading daylight cast long shadows around us, making the forest seem almost foreboding as dusk approached. As I finished securing the bandage around Prince Darcel's leg, a rustling suddenly broke through the calm brought by the settling evening, a sound followed by familiar voices calling out. Relief washed over me as Sir Jiang and Kael emerged from the thick foliage, their faces etched with concern.
Sir Jiang’s eyes bulged upon immediately noticing Darcel’s injured state. “Your Highness!” He rushed forward and crouched beside us, examining the wound I had just dressed. He nodded approvingly at my handiwork before casting a wary glance towards the darkening sky. “We need to find a safe place to camp for the night. This path is much longer than it initially appeared; it’s a significant walk from here until it rejoins the road above, and this injury could use rest. Reaching and exploring the cave will have to wait until at least tomorrow, once we’ve better assessed the prince’s condition in the daylight.” His tone left no room for argument.
The decision to delay was met with nods of agreement, each member visibly tired from the day’s exertions and the additional stress brought by our separation. As we gathered our belongings to move to a more secure location for the night, I felt a mixture of disappointment that my time alone with the prince had come to a premature end, and relief that the delay would give me more time to prepare for the cave’s challenges as well as monitor Darcel’s recovery.
Though part of me had cherished the newfound closeness that had developed between Darcel and me, another part was grateful for the return of our companions, unsure my heart was strong enough to pass the night alone with him.
As we settled into our new campsite, the familiar routines of setting up tents and preparing a late dinner brought a sense of normalcy and safety. Later that night as I lay listening to the crackling campfire, I reflected on the day’s events—born from danger and softened by healing, both which marked a turning point in our journey.
The series of rescues—first with Darcel saving me from a fatal fall and then me treating his poisoning and injury—had woven a new layer into our relationship, and I couldn’t shake the growing feeling that things couldn’t remain as they were for much longer.
The closer we grew, the more impossible it would become to hide the truth…and the less I wanted to. How would he react if I told him who I truly was? The more I considered it, the more I wondered whether I should stop the pretense…particularly if it was becoming increasingly likely that he’d discover my identity on his own. I felt it was important that I be the one to tell him the truth before he could stumble upon it himself.
I swallowed nervously as I considered when and how I might break the news to him, and whether he would welcome the idea or put an end to our growing friendship. I felt a stab of pain at the thought and pulled my blanket closer with a sigh. At least for tonight I would remain Ren.
Yet for all my deceit, I couldn’t deny that something profound had shifted between us. We were no longer just allies—we were partners, bonded by survival, a reminder of the fragile line I walked…one bound by the secrets I no longer wanted to keep from him.