Page 74 of Pucking Around

Her frown deepens. “Well, if you can’t show me the bare minimum of interest, then I’m moving seats. It’s too awkward for me, okay? I can’t justsithere, Mars. I feel…chained to you. Or like I somehow lose agency each time I feed into your tic by sitting here like a house plant, purifying your air of bad juju.”

“Joo-joo?”

She waves her hand. “Nevermind. Will you just ask me a damn question before I get totally stressed and chug your glass of milk?”

I let out a slow exhale, my mind a humming blank room of nothing. How long can two people sit on a plane, staring at each other, saying no words?

Think of a question, Ilmari.

Why don’t you wear your nose ring all the time?

No, too invasive. You can’t ask a woman about her body. And she’s not just any woman, she’s your doctor.

What is your brand of perfume?

Damn it, no. You want her to know that you sniff her now too?

“I…” Nothing else comes out.

“Great,” she mutters. “I’ll see ya.” She reaches for the buckle of her seatbelt with both hands and my own hand flashes out.

“No—please—” I don’t want her to leave.

She just stares, those brown eyes locked on me. “Hey, Mars?” she murmurs. Her voice is so soft. Her eyes are luring me in deeper, like two dark pools I want to swim inside.

“Hmm?”

“Take your hand off my crotch.”

I glance down to see that I’ve got my hand pressed flat over her seatbelt, which means my hand is pressed in her lap—

“Mitä vittua,” I curse, jerking my hand away.

Now she’s laughing. “You okay there, big guy? You gonna make it?”

I huff, dropping my hand to my lap.

“I’ll show mercy, okay?” she teases. “Two questions. Just ask me two lil ole questions and I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the flight.”

I shake my head, letting myself glance back over at her. “Do you…always drink diet cola?”

Her smile falls and she rolls her eyes. I’m ready for her disappointment. “Seriously, Kinnunen? You can ask me anything, and that’s your question? No, I don’t always drink diet cola. In fact, you’ve been sitting right next to me as I’ve ordered an array of beverages to include coffee, water, and ginger ale.”

She’s right. Of course, she is.

“We’ll call that your warm-up question, okay? Try again,” she says more gently. As if she knows this is difficult for me, she adds, “You can do this, Ilmari. If it helps, just think of me as a doctor. Free medical advice can be yours, my friend. Or we could talk books, music, movies, food—”

Medical advice.

My heart beats faster and my hands clench into fists on my knees. Could it be this easy? Could I finally get the help I’ve been too afraid to ask for?

“Or we could talk about—”

“What is the most effective way to treat a groin pull?”

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Iblink, the words ‘pop culture’ dying on my lips. “Oh—umm—yeah, sure. We can talk about groin pulls if you want.” I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Are you…” I glance down. Big mistake. Now I’m looking at Ilmari Kinnunen’s groin. I clear my throat, eyes darting back up to his face. “Do you—are you worried you might have one?”