Page 65 of Pucking Around

His words knock out all my air. I gasp, hand to my chest. “Jake—what thefuck? Are you serious right now? You tell me if you’re serious, before I cry right here in front of Mr. Chen’s!”

A half-lit dumpling sign flickers behind his head as he crosses his arms. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re wrong!”

“You said we can’t be together because of the contracts you signed,” he says, leveling a finger in my face. “But I talked to Vicki, and she said we just have to sign a ‘we’re together’ form and I can’t see you as my doctor.”

My eyes go wide. “You asked Vicki about me? When?”

“The day you showed up in my goddamn parking garage! It’s not a big deal, Rachel. With the shredding of one document and the signing of another, we can be together. And I think you know that,” he adds. “You just don’t want me.”

How did I not realize the extent to which I was hurting him? He’s always in such a good mood—always smiling, always teasing and laughing and texting me pictures of tacos and pelicans and every cup of coffee he consumes. But this whole time he’s been masking his pain.

“Jake, I’m sorry.”

He stiffens, his last hope shattering.

“Wait—no—” I lunge after him, grabbing his arm. “I didn’t mean—Jake, I’m sorry for hurting you. For not realizing how difficult this was for you.”

“Difficult?” he growls. “This has been fuckingunbearable, Rachel. Do you know how hard it was to wake up and find you gone in Seattle? Do you know what I felt seeing you again? How I’ve suffered knowing you’re in my city, in my goddamn ice rink, on my bus, in my gym, on my plane—you’re fuckingeverywhere. All day.Everyday. And I can’t fucking touch you! Can’t kiss you. Can’t feel this heart beating under my hands.” He splays his hand over my chest.

“I’m not eating, Rachel. Not sleeping. I can’t concentrate on or off the ice. Ask Cay, he knows,” he adds. “He’s been bugging me for weeks wanting to know what’s wrong.You’rewhat’s wrong.”

I raise a hand, wrapping it around his wrist. “Jake—”

“I’m in love with you, Rachel. And you can say that’s crazy, but I’m not some lovestruck fool that falls for any girl at the first flick of her lashes. You turned around on that barstool in Seattle, and I just knew. You’re the one.”

I’m crying now, my head shaking. “Jake, you don’t even know me—”

“Idoknow you,” he counters, cupping my face with both hands. “I know you and you know me. We proved that in Seattle. I may not know the name of your high school or your favorite salad dressing, but I can learn. Iwantto learn them. Give me a chance, baby, please.”

My hands go back to his wrists, pulling his hands from my face. “Jake, you don’t want me,” I say with a shake of my head.

“Don’t,” he growls. “Don’t push me away again.”

“I can’t let you be with me,” I say. “Not in public anyway.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Not in public?” Caleb adds, arms crossed as he glares at me. “What are you, Hurricane? A fuckin’ geisha?”

I fight back the tears that want so desperately to keep falling. “I can’t be with you in public because it would ruin your life,” I admit at last. “Iwould ruin your life…the way I’ve already ruined mine.”

33

My mind is racing. An hour ago, I had this girl on my lap, dazzling me with her show of friendship. Thirty minutes later, I was fucking her hot mouth, coming down her throat while I watched Jake pound into her from behind. They were both goddamn perfection.

I wanted to ride back to the hotel and go for round two. I wanted this gorgeous girl riding my cock, slamming those curvy hips down—

Fuck, concentrate.

Now I’m standing on some random street corner, connecting the dots I should have seen a month ago. Rachel Price is Jake’s Seattle Girl.

“Rach, what do you mean your life is ruined?” Jake says. “You’re a hotshot doctor. Your career is on the rise—”

“I’m flying just under the radar, always only one more indiscretion away from total ruination,” she replies. “I can’t put that on you, Jake. I can’t drag you down with me.”

“Drag me down?” He glances sharply to me. “I don’t understand.”