Page 147 of Pucking Around

He grunts, turning away again. “The dog I can tolerate. It’s Compton and Sanford I want to push off a cliff.”

“Push them away, and you’ll push me right along with them,” I warn. “And this isn’t some kind of ‘they came first’ situation,” I add. “Even if you came first, this is just who I am, Mars. I’m…complicated.” I wish there was a better way to describe me, but now the word is out, and I’m going with it.

“There are so many facets of Rachel Price,” I go on. “The idea that one person could satisfy all of them and be my perfect match…I just don’t think that’s possible. You make me happy, Mars. Caleb makes a different part of me happy. It’s not more or less happiness; it’s just different. By feeling such happiness with all three of you, I get to be the fullest, best version of myself. Am I making any sense?”

His face is stoic as he breathes quietly next to me, saying nothing.

“It’s a lot,” I admit. “And I understand if you need this to be a one-night only thing. I mean—it’s fine—if that’s all this can be for you. I can accept that—”

He rolls to his side, placing three fingers over my mouth to quiet me. “Rachel…”

“Hmm?” I say behind my muzzle.

His gaze softens somewhat. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Heart in my throat, I push up on one elbow, studying his expression. ‘You’re sure?”

He gives a curt nod and I sigh.

“This is kind of a big moment, Mars. I’m gonna need more than a nod.”

He’s quiet for another long moment, looking for the right words, before he finally speaks. “I’m willing to admit I’m curious. I think I need to see you with Compton and Sanford. I need to understand what this is, what you have with them, and where I fit.”

My eyes go wide. “See us together as in like…see?”

He growls low, pulling me against him and twining our legs together. “I’m not talking about sex, Rakas. I don’t want to think about their puny cocks poking anywhere near you.”

I can’t help but snort a laugh. “No one’s going to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” I say more diplomatically.

He’s still tense, his gaze locked on the ceiling. “But you are with them in that way.”

“Yes,” I reply. “Separately and together. They love sharing…and I love being shared,” I admit. “And I think maybe you should also know that Caleb is queer. He likes men and women. He’s been in relationships with both. And Jake is currently exploring his own bicuriousity,” I say with a soft smile.

“Bicuriousity?” he repeats.

“Yeah…I think Jake’s in love with Caleb,” I admit, my stomach filled with warm fuzzy thoughts as I remember the way Caleb gazed down at him with such wonder in his eyes, Jake on his knees. “He just doesn’t know it yet. But he’s on the path.”

“So, they are with youandeach other?”

“Jake’s not quite there yet. But I think it’s on their horizon.”

“And would they…” He doesn’t finish the thought, but I know where he’s going with his question.

“Mars, are you asking if the guys will want you to enjoy sexy times with them without me there?”

“It’s not happening,” he mutters.

“Fair enough,” I reply, snuggling in next to his massive frame. His hand traces soft circles against my skin. “You’ll walk your own path, Mars. If you only want to be with me, that’s fine.”

His hand stills, his breathing slow and steady in his chest. “Do you want me, Rakas?” he murmurs, not looking at me. “Beyond this night…do you want me in your life? In your bed?”

I can’t help but think back to our dinner tonight, hearing him admit to being all alone. No father. No mother. No siblings. Just a demanding job that requires endless travel. He left everything behind in Finland. His home, his surrogate family. Mars Kinnunen is all alone.

Not anymore.

My heart thrums as the words echo down to my very bones. No one deserves to walk through life alone, especially not someone as wonderful as the man lying naked in my arms. “Yes,” I say, cupping his face. “Ilmari, yes.” I kiss the tip of his nose, both his cheeks. “Yes, I want you,” I whisper, trailing my kisses down his neck. “Yes, I need you.”

“Then you have me,” he replies, his fingers digging into my hair.