Page 37

THIRTY-SEVEN

jack

The pain hits like a strike of lightning before I even crack open my eyes.

Everything fucking hurts.

I part my dry lips to let out a moan.

My mouth is so dry, it feels like it’s full of sand and cotton and chewed-up Saltines.

“Ahh,” I yelp, bringing a hand to my bandaged head.

“What the hell happened?”

I squint, hoping to see someone who can tell me what happened, but other than me, there’s nobody else in the taupe-painted room.

A throbbing pain assaults my skull and I gingerly touch the sides of the bandages wrapped around my head.

There has to be someone around, but my head feels like a cement block, and I can’t even raise it off the pillow.

An IV sticks out of my right arm.

I shift on the mattress, rolling onto my left side to search for a nurses’ call button and wince, my left arm is also covered in bandages.

Rolling back over, I call out, hoping to God someone will hear me.

“Help,” I wail pathetically.

Where the hell is the call button ?

The door opens and a nurse pops her head in the room.

“Mr. Larson, you’re awake. I’m so glad to see it. I’m Annabel, your nurse.”

She steps inside, dressed in blue scrubs.

Her hair is blonde and in a low ponytail, pink-framed glasses sit on her nose, and her smile is so white, it’s blinding.

Blinding to the point where I need to close my eyes again.

Well, maybe that’s the medication they’re pumping into me.

Medication that isn’t nearly strong enough since I am riddled with fucking agony.

“What happened?” I ask.

She raises my bed a bit and then puts a straw to my lips.

“Here, take a sip.”

The water hits my lips and it tastes so good and wet.

“Thanks,” I croak.

Annabel places the cup back on my nightstand and leans forward to check out my bandages.

“How’s your pain?”

“Miserable,” I say.

“Can you up whatever’s coming through these little tubes?”

She nods.

“Of course. But first, the doctor will want to come in to examine you. You just woke up, so we don’t want you to go right back to sleep again. You were very lucky.”

“I don’t feel lucky. My head is gonna explode at any second.”

“You took a big hit in the accident.”

“Accident,” I mutter.

“I don’t remem?—”

Then my lips snap shut.

And suddenly, I remember all of it.

The dingy apartment, Jeremy’s father, the rolling pin that gave me a fighting chance to survive that shit show, Jeremy’s screams…

“Where’s Jeremy?” I mumble.

“Is he okay? ”

“He’s fine.” Annabel smiles and touches my arm.

“You’re a hero. You saved his life when you took that bullet in your left arm. But you lost a lot of blood, and that’s what made you black out at the wheel and crash into the tree.”

“How did we survive a head-on crash?”

“The airbags deployed and prevented you both from flying through the windshield but yours forced your head against the driver’s side window, giving you a brain contusion. That’s our focus right now. The doctors repaired your arm, but we need to keep you under observation to make sure the swelling in your brain goes down.”

Annabel checks my vitals and looks at the screens of the machines bleeping around me.

“Is Jeremy still here?” I ask.

“I really want to see him.”

Annabel turns with a nod.

“Yes, I’ll see if I can get him back here. There are some others who are waiting to see you, too, if you’re up to it.”

My chest tightens.

“Who?”

“Sam Hartley, Brixton Scott, and Carter Van Kleef. You’ve got a whole celebrity section in the waiting room right now.”

I clench the bedsheet in my right hand.

Truth be told, the only person I really want to see is Jeremy.

I need to hear what happened leading up to my arrival at that apartment.

Annabel disappears, and a few minutes later, she returns with Jeremy.

His face is swollen and bruised.

Scrapes cover the side of his face.

But the look in his eyes chills me to my core.

“Jer,” I say, struggling to sit up.

The wooziness that floods me forces me right back against the pillows.

“Hang on,” Annabel says.

“Let’s raise you up just a bit.” Then she quietly backs out of the room.

Jeremy takes a few shaky steps toward me.

“Coach, I’m so s-sorry,” he says, his eyes pooling with tears.

“He’d been yelling and screaming about how you celebrities think you can get away with anything and that he needed to teach you a lesson. He took my phone and found your number.” Tears spill out of his eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help or call you because he stuck me in the corner where you found me. I was there for hours with that tape over my mouth. I couldn’t scream. And then when you showed up…” Sobs wrack his shoulders.

“I felt like maybe things would be okay, that we could get away. I-I didn’t know about the gun.”

“Hey, none of this is your fault. I get it. I was in the same spot you were, bud. But you don’t ever have to worry about him again. You’re never gonna go back there, I promise.”

Jeremy nods.

“Someone came here to the hospital. Childhood Protective Services. Someone saw us escape the apartment and the gunshots and reported him. They said my dad was arrested, but that I had to go to some other place tonight until they have a more permanent home for me. Because I don’t have any relatives nearby.” He walks closer to the bed, crying like his heart is breaking.

“Coach, I don’t have anyone else. My mom died a few years ago and we don’t have any family here. I don’t know where they’re going to send me or if the people will even like me. I’ll be all alone.” He cries silently, his reddened cheeks streaked with tears.

He swipes at his eyes.

“I guess that’s why I didn’t say anything sooner. I hate him but it’s my house and what I know. All I have. I figured things would get better, but they only got worse, especially after Mom died.”

I raise my right arm and reach for his hand, squeezing it tight.

“Don’t you worry about anything, do you hear me? You’re not alone. I told you that a long time ago.”

“I know,” he whimpers.

“And I’m sorry. I was just so scared.”

I nod, my throat knotted with tears of my own.

“I know, bud. I know. We’re gonna figure this out.”

“Figure what out?” Sam’s smiling face peeks into the room, his expression clouding over when he sees Jeremy.

He walks into the room, Carter behind him with a sheepish look on his face.

I swing my gaze back toward Sam.

Carter doesn’t deserve even a shred of my attention.

Sam crosses the room, his brows knitting together.

“What’s going on?”

“CPS came to the hospital,” I say, my voice tight.

“They’re gonna take Jer and put him in some facility while they figure out a permanent place. Sammy, I can’t let them do that. I can’t let them take him.”

Sam nods.

“I figured as much. But how are you going to plead that case when you’re laid up and looking like half a mummy?” Then his lips stretch into a smile.

He looks at Jeremy and puts a hand on the kid’s shoulder.

“I’ll take him in the meantime. He can stay with me and Brixton while you get back on your feet.”

I let out a deep sigh, a sense of calm washing over my aching body.

“Thank you.” I look at Jeremy.

The panic has been replaced with relief, and a smile spreads across my face.

“You good with that, bud? They’ll take good care of you until I’m up and running again.”

“Yeah,” Jeremy says excitedly.

“Thanks, Coach.” Then he turns to Sam.

“Thanks, Sam.”

“You okay?” Sam says to me, looking around the room.

“You’re hooked up to a lot of stuff right now.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a little anxious for some more drugs. That IV is the only thing I care about and it’s run dry.”

Sam grins.

“I’ll make sure the nurse takes care of that.”

“My swollen brain is holding everything up,” I say.

“Swollen brain. Okay, that’s a different one. I’m used to swollen ego.” Sam winks at me and I chuckle .

“I’ll take care of this CPS stuff right now.” He casts a look at Carter over his shoulder and then guides Jeremy toward the door.

Carter steps forward, looking pretty damn uncertain about making the move.

But he doesn’t let my hard stare stop him.

And dammit, it’s so painful to keep this shit up.

I want to feel his arms wrapped around me, I want him to hug me tight and ease the pain and the horrors that I experienced this afternoon.

Out of everyone, he’d know best how terrifying it would have been for me.

“That was really great, you offering to take Jeremy. I’m sure he needs the kind of support only you can give him.”

“Yeah, well, there was no way I was gonna let some rando take him, not after what he’s been through. I can help him. It’ll be hard, but we’ll work through it. He needs to know he has someone on his side. Someone who will understand what he went through, who had the same nightmares, who learned to deal with the past.”

“Have you?” Carter asks.

I shrug. “The best way I can. It’s how I live my life. I can help him work through it. Get him therapy. Whatever he needs.”

Carter nods, his shoulders tensing.

“Why didn’t you tell me where you were going?” he asks.

“I would have gone with you. You didn’t have to do it on your own. You could have been hurt, way worse,” he says, a crack in his voice.

“I just needed to get to Jeremy. I needed to be there for him because I knew nobody else would be. I didn’t need anyone telling me to make a call, that it was too dangerous.” The stench of the apartment, the streaks of blood on the floor, the piercing yells, and the gunshots…

I can still hear them so fucking clearly, I can still feel my body jerk when the bullet tore through my arm .

I swallow hard. “It was that night at my father’s house all over again. The burning ache to run when my legs couldn’t move fast enough, desperation to slow the guy down before he did something to hurt us, the panic when he waved that gun in my face.”

“But you got away,” Carter whispers, taking my hand.

“You saved Jeremy. You got him out before he was hurt again. Before you both were. Jesus, Jack. You could have been killed. When I saw the news, I panicked and flew over here, praying you made it through.”

“I’d do it all over again to help him. The fucking asshole used Jeremy’s phone to lure me to him. He really was gonna kill me.”

“How did you get away?” Carter’s eyes cloud over with sadness and remorse.

I tell him about the rolling pin, my saving grace.

“I can’t lose you, Jack,” he whispers.

“I need you in my life and I swear I’ll make sure you never doubt that for a single second.”

What feels like a strand of sharp thorns wraps tight around my heart, the stabbing pain way worse than what’s going on with the rest of my body.

“How the fuck am I supposed to trust you again, Carter? I trusted you before. I opened up to you like I’ve never done before. You hurt me worse than anyone else in my life.” I pause, barely able to spit out the words because I hate hearing them, I hate making them real.

“And if that video wasn’t leaked, how do I know you’d have ever come out? How am I supposed to ever trust you again? The only thing you’ve proven to me is your words mean shit. I don’t know if I can ever believe in you again.”

“You have to believe me,” he says.

“I love you. I think I always have and that’s what scared me. But I’m ready for this, Jack. Let me show you. Please don’t turn me away. Give me another chance. I know how hard it is for you to forgive but?—"

“Just go,” I mutter, interrupting him. “You don’t need any more baggage weighing you down. You’ve got enough of your own to handle now. Figure your shit out, Carter. I hope you find your own happiness.”

I wrench my hand from him and turn my head toward the window, staring into the horizon streaked with orange, blue, and pink. Gritting my teeth, my eyes study his pinched face in the reflection of the glass. I know I can’t turn back now. If I look at him, I’ll lose my nerve.

I’ve already lost my heart, and I can’t take another loss like that.