Page 35

Chapter 33

Kitty

The door to Guy’s hotel room clicked shut behind us. He looked at me with soft eyes. My heart pounded, the whole scene feeling like one of those visions before a migraine: surreal and distorted. I went from an average New York night to being reunited with my oldest, brightest flame. And him getting me off in a dirty alley? My life was strange indeed.

“Kitty, we don’t have to do anything sexual.” Guy leaned into the door, respecting my space.

“Says the man who just fingered me in an alley,” I retorted.

“I realize that may have been a little much,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“I had fun. Nice having our old dynamic back.” I pushed up on my toes and kissed him. His lips met me softly, his hand moving into my hair, thumb at my jaw. His eyes opened slowly as I pulled away. Those gentle Guy kisses made me feel so cherished, another thing I’d missed.

“Yes, but we should probably ease into things. Wanna get down to our undies and be skeletons?”

I couldn’t help but grin. I agreed and slipped into the bathroom, giving myself a hard look in the mirror. I was me, but there was a certain lightness I hadn’t had before my show. I forgot how much Guy completed me and made me whole.

“Get over here, ma puce ,” Guy called from the bed when I emerged from the bathroom. His gaze combed over me as I peeled off my shirt and dropped my jeans. I felt the need to cover myself even though we’d seen each other naked countless times.

I groaned as I slipped under the sheets, the relief of lying down taking over.

“Feels nice, huh?” Guy said, sliding over to me, placing his hand on my side, and kissing my forehead. I traced my fingers down his arm as our legs tangled together. My muscles instantly oozed with relaxation. It had been a while since I’d had snuggles, particularly snuggles that weren’t perfunctory. We were there because we wanted to be.

“So nice,” I agreed. I felt nervous and a little awkward, not quite knowing what to say. “So, how have your last few years been? How’s Grandmere?”

Guy’s face fell. He shook his head. My stomach turned.

“She’s gone? When?”

“Last February.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been there for you, Guy. In a heartbeat.”

He wouldn’t meet my gaze. “You were with him.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you and your family, Guy. What happened to us being a family? Did you tell my mom?”

“It hurt too much, Kitty. I couldn’t see you as just a friend anymore. I still can’t. You’re my everything, and I couldn’t deal with being your nothing.” I felt like he’d put a pin in my balloon.

“You’re not my nothing,” I said. “I never stopped loving you, Guy.”

Guy moved his hand to caress around my belly button, gaze tracking the movement. “I want this so bad, Birdy.” His voice was brittle. “I want you back. No matter what it takes. We only get one life and I want you in mine. My life is only a half-life with you gone.”

“I know what you mean,” I said. “It’s not the same without you.”

Guy’s eyes finally floated up to mine, the little scar on his upper lip from a puck he took there quivering. “Be with me, Kitty. Don’t make me live without you.”

I bit my lip, holding back tears. “I didn’t expect this. I don’t know what to say.”

“Say yes. I let you go too easily last time. I’m asking for what I want this time. I want you, Kitty. All of you. No holding part of yourself back so you won’t get hurt. I have everything else I want. But none of it means anything if I don’t have you.”

I wanted him back. Of course, I did. I still didn’t know how it was all going to work, though. I couldn’t commit the way he wanted me to at that moment. But I needed him.

I placed my fingers on his lips and sniffled. “None of the complicated stuff,” I reminded him. “Just being together.”

Guy nodded. “Okay.”

A moment of tension passed between us, lightning bolts of need crackling in our stare. I wanted it, of course. I wanted to be able to surrender and say yes and just be with him, but I was so afraid of the pain.

But the need surged on.

The need broke me.

I smashed my face to his, pulling our lips together and rolling him to his back. His tongue met mine in a rush, my heart threatening to crack my breastbone with its thunderous force. Guy held me like I was something precious, his hands gripping my ribs, moaning into my mouth. He shifted to have a hand across my back and the other stroking down my spine, so tender and gentle with me.

My hips sought him in a rhythm, grinding my center against his hardness while our kisses tore on. Biting, sucking, strokes of the tongue to soothe. Unfettered desire.

Guy’s hands shook as he groped at my bra closure, just like they had the first time we were together. Without breaking our kiss, I reached back to take over, shoving the offending fabric out of the way.

“Kitty,” he yelped out in desperation. “I need to see you.”

“Not as bad as I need to feel you,” I replied, sitting up briefly before shifting down his body.

“Not fair. I need you first,” he said, clawing at my arms to attempt to pull me back up.

“69?” I offered.

Guy broke a smile as I lowered the waistband of his underwear, freeing him and meeting that part of him again. I stroked him like my life depended on it, like I needed to touch him more than I needed to breathe. While I waited for his answer, I took matters into my own hands. Or my own mouth.

The taste of his precum on my tongue was a homecoming I didn’t expect. I groaned with a mouth full of Guy, not realizing how even little things like that were missing in my life. I felt the rush of blood flow to his dick and more precum that matched his satisfied growl. I needed that. Needed him. Wasn’t sure how I’d been without him all that time.

“Kitty baby, you know you go first,” he said, darkness tinging his tone. “You’d better do as I say.”

I looked him in the eye and spat on his dick in response, adding impossible wetness. I wanted him to give me his worst.

“That was your last warning,” he said, tracing a finger along my jaw. “Get up here.”

Meeting his fiery gaze, I wiped my lips and crawled back up his body. A powerful smack landed against my backside, a hiss escaping me. I panted in Guy’s face, my jaw falling open.

“If you don’t want another of those, you’d better sit my favorite pussy in the world on this face.”

I did as he asked, mostly because having Guy’s mouth back on me in that way was preferable to his spanks, no matter how pleasurable those were. I rested my bottom on his chest, my knees next to his head. Guy inhaled sharply.

“My favorite scent, Birdy,” he said with reverence. “For years I’ve tried to remember everything about you.”

“How’d you do?”

“There’s nothing like the real you,” he said, drawing a finger down my slit and making me shiver. “It’s your taste that haunts me the most.”

His eyes cut to the headboard. “Better hold on.”

Guy’s tongue sank into me, and it’s like he forgot nothing. He remembered exactly how I liked it, something no one else mastered like he did. He sucked on me, alternating broad strokes of his tongue with teasing flicks. His hands found my thighs, pushing me open wider as my hands gripped the headboard. His eyes met mine, then followed his hands over my breasts, down to my ass. I sighed out his name, overwhelmed as my orgasm loomed. I bucked into his face, fully riding him as a long moan of encouragement left him.

I’d had good times with other guys and even felt bonded during sex, but nothing compared to the sacred intimacy that Guy and I shared. Sometimes it was a treacherous high, but always with a soft net to catch me. Guy was both danger and security. I came, completely breathless in a shaking, quivering rush of emotions.

“Nobody does it like you, Guy. No one,” I breathed as I came down.

“Because nobody knows you like I do,” he said. “We belong to each other.”

He was campaigning for what he wanted, hard. I wanted it, too, but I still didn’t see how it could all work. Between that and my orgasm, I was wiped out. I climbed off his chest and laid down beside him.

“Good?”

“You know it was,” I teased. “But I need a minute. It’s really intense being back like this.”

Tears came at me unexpectedly.

“Oh, sweetheart, no,” Guy cooed, pulling me into his chest. “Should I have not come to see you?”

“No, I’m glad you’re here. It’s just a lot,” I sobbed, the second time that evening I’d been emotional after an orgasm.

Guy tipped up my chin to look at him, wiping my tears and studying my eyes. “Wanna know something?”

“What?”

“I almost cried seeing you naked again.” Guy smiled, but his eyes were sad. I gave a soft laugh. “It’s true. It’s a lot for me, too. If we need to take a break for the night, that’s fine.”

I blew out a breath, pulling myself together. “I’ve needed you so bad for so long.”

Guy sighed, too. “You have no idea, Birdy.”

We lay there quietly like that for a while: my head on his muscled but somewhat manscaped chest, holding each other tight.

I was almost afraid to ask my next question, like he might make fun of me. “What if we make love? Go slow?”

Guy’s sweet chocolate drop eyes met mine. “I’d love that.”

Our earlier kisses were fiery and hungry. This was a different kind of hunger. Earlier, our bodies had needs. Then, it was our souls. So much hurt and longing had passed between us, and we needed to honor that. To bury the hatchet.

His lips savored mine. His hands took on a new deference. We listened with our motions. I studied the changes in him and the things that were familiar. I’d been able to read his body like a book before, but it was like new chapters were added. Good chapters, but unfamiliar nonetheless.

“You’re still perfect,” he whispered between kisses. He descended down my neck and to my breasts, open-mouthed and passionate. I dug my thumbs into his flat brown nipples, his head cocking back. We continued on, touching and feeling, until the time felt just right.

“Want me to get a condom?” Guy asked. “I got tested before this trip, and I haven’t been bare with anyone but you.”

“My last tests were negative and I’m on birth control,” I said. A grin lifted the corner of Guy’s lips.

“Just you and me?”

I nodded. “Just us.”

In a flurry of kisses, Guy pushed into me. Our words came freely, uninhibited, not profound but meaningful to us.

“I love this.”

“God, Kitty.”

His hands held mine, pinning them over my head. It gave the advantage of being able to watch each other’s faces. I gazed into the eyes of the man who never stopped loving me as he filled me, again and again. The man I let get away. The man I let go so we could have a shot at the lives we wanted. Letting go was necessary, but coming back together was, too. I hoped the weekend in New York wouldn’t be the end of us.

We rolled to our sides, my leg wound around his torso. I loved looking so deeply into his eyes, making his presence more tangible.

“Gorgeous as ever, baby.”

“More, Guy.”

“I’ll give you everything, sweetheart. You ask and I give. I’ll always take care of you.”

And he wasn’t just blowing smoke. I knew he meant it. If I let him, he’d give me anything I ever wanted. Guy belonged to me, whether I wanted him to or not.