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Chapter 13

Kitty

The Chainsaw Chatterbugs show was a mess. Brian insisted on rhyming everything he said. That was funny for about one scene, but then he wouldn’t give it up. Nothing worse than a selfish player in your group, especially when they’re not even funny. It’s hard to “yes and” shitty choices. Plus, I’d been in something of an on-and-off shitty mood since my accidental orgasm with Guy. He kept trying to talk to me, and I was sure it was just going to be to friend zone me and remind me why I wasn’t like that to him.

I didn’t need that slap in the face. He’d already dealt me one by just leaving in the morning and not waking me up to say goodbye. And turning down my offer to get him off. And not kissing me after the deed was done. My stomach turned every time I thought about it.

So I avoided him like the plague to avoid that conversation. I didn’t want to be mad at Guy. We’d just started hanging out again. But if he was going to play me, his longest friend, then yeah, I was mad. I focused my anger on disliking certain members of my improv group.

“Can you believe Brian?” I asked Cassie after the show. “So annoying, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know, Kitty. You kinda left him hanging.”

I screwed up my face. Something wasn’t adding up. Cassie was almost always game to talk a little well-deserved shit after shows. “You fucking him or something? You always talk shit about Brian.”

Cassie’s face instantly went red. “Oh, shit, Cass! I wasn’t serious! I, uh, I’m sorry. Uh, how’s it going with him?”

Her face softened, the embarrassed red going to a more enamored pink. “He’s pretty sweet. Enthusiastic.”

“I guess you can say that for him.”

“Hey, I think someone’s waiting for you,” she said, gesturing to the back of the auditorium. A tall, lanky figure leaned against the wall. I waved goodbye to Cassie and headed toward the person, knowing damn well who it probably was. Once the lights were out of my eyes, my suspicions were confirmed.

“Hi, Guy.” He gave me a sheepish smile.

“You did great, Birdy.” He opened his arms. “Hug?”

I sighed and stepped into his embrace. “I know that’s not true. Tonight was a flop.”

“I thought you were wonderful,” Guy said, kissing my hair. I inhaled his cologne. Deodorant? Whatever it was that made him smell so damn good. “So are you still busy now? Have some math homework I can help you with?”

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. His eyes were so hopeful. He had been trying to get me to hang out a lot, and I kept shutting him down. It was easier to shut him down when he wasn’t standing in front of me, and he knew that. I did have homework and could use his help. “Tea and waffles?”

“Sounds perfect.”

We walked out into the November cold. He seemed to be angling to put his arm around me, so I busied myself with walking apart from him and cracking jokes.

“Kitty, we should talk about last weekend,” he said, brown eyes earnest under the brim of his beanie.

“Do we have to?” I groaned.

“Yes, Kitty. I don’t want to lose you because of it. You don’t need to feel awkward about it.”

“Then why did you leave without even saying goodbye?” I was skeptical. Once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy.

“Kitty, I really did have an emergency,” Guy started. I leveled him with a sharp look. “I did! One of my teammates stole his girlfriend’s dog and had the cops out looking for him.”

I cackled. “Can I use that in a script?”

“You really should,” he said, laughing. “Looking back, it’s pretty funny.”

I worried my lip between my teeth, wanting to rip off the bandaid. “I know what happened between us was kinda weird, so can we just pretend it didn’t happen? You’re a hookup boy, and I know you don’t settle down with anyone.”

“I mean, that’s true, but Kitty—”

“I miss being your friend. We’ve been apart for so long and I think we need to find our footing again.” I was desperate to beat him to the punch on let ’s be friends and keep one shred of my dignity intact.

Guy got a funny look on his face. His voice cracked when he spoke next. “Yeah. Yeah. Probably a good idea.” Wait, did he want it to mean more?

Neither of us said anything for what felt like an eternity. “Hug it out?”

“Okay.” Guy held me close to him, tucking his head to mine and kissing the top of my head.

“I love you, Kitty Bird,” he said, pain in his voice as he squeezed me tight.

“I love you, too, Guy-Guy.”

We walked on to the waffle shop, where we both got tea and a waffle to share. Guy was just as much fun as he always was when we did homework: patient, not condescending, and making me feel smart. He cracked jokes, and the warmth that we’d shared for years returned. We were still such good friends no matter how much time passed between seeing each other. We were two instruments tuned to the same key, playing perfectly together, complementing each other.

That warmth was what I protected at all costs. We couldn’t lose that warmth by playing with fire together.