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Chapter 29

Guy

When COVID first hit the U.S., I went into a spiral. I knew Kitty was still at Alden, which isn’t that far from New York. I had this panic that she was sick or would die without talking to me again. Hockey was on hold while everything was locked down, so all I had to do with my time was eat, sleep, and worry. I didn’t have a partner to hang out with. I just had myself. I was terribly lonely and deeply anxious.

I needed Kitty.

For years, our back-and-forth had only been via text. Little reminders of our friendship, inside jokes, silly memes that we knew the other would think were funny. She, Frank, and I still had a three-way text going, sometimes more lit up than others. But when I developed this fear that she was in danger, I had to call her, breaking out of the text chain.

I was shaking as the phone rang. I was never afraid when a 200-pound man came hurtling down the ice at me with a vision of wedging my body between his and the boards. But the thought of that five-foot-seven woman being in danger put more fear in me than anything could. If I lost her, I’d have nothing.

Her voice was warm on the other end. “Hi, Guy-Guy.”

A smile cracked over my face at hearing her, though my words broke. I realized how long it had been since I smiled. “Kitty Bird. Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I’m in Cambridge still.”

“We have to get you out of there, Kitty. Are you feeling okay? Are you healthy?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Are you okay? Your team is already a breeding ground as it is.”

She wasn’t wrong. If one of us got a cold or stomach bug, it was almost guaranteed to make its way around the locker room. We spit and bled all over each other all the time, a veritable cesspool at times.

“I haven’t seen anyone in like five days. I hope nobody has it. You’re so close to New York, though, ma puce .”

“It’s just been me and Violet holed up together for now. We’re okay.”

“I’m so worried about you. Can I rent you a car to drive home?”

She chuckled, kind of sad. “Mark Gatto’s already on it, Frenchie.”

I snorted. “Of course he is.”

“He’s on his way to get me. I’m more worried about him getting it since he’s older. We’re going to ride home with the windows down. We’ll both isolate when we get back.”

My heart pounded. “Kitty, I need to know you’re okay. I need to see you.”

She was quiet, coughing a couple of times. My panic raced harder. “Birdy, do you have a cough?”

“No, it’s just a throat tickle.”

I broke down. It was like all my worst fears were coming true. “Kitty, I’m going to drive to see you, okay? I’ll stay in a tent in your yard if I have to, but I . . . I need you.”

“In West Virginia? Guy, you can’t. I’m taking a risk traveling as far as I am. You can’t cross the whole damn country.”

I couldn’t even get words out. The days of loneliness, fear, and handwashing had gotten to me.

“Why don’t we make a plan to FaceTime whenever we can? Then we can see each other.” She coughed again.

“Kitty, are you sick?”

“Guy, seriously. Hang on.”

She hung up, then I got a FaceTime request. I answered right away, wiping my face with the bottom of my shirt. Kitty’s face filled my screen. She was wearing sweats, her hair in a messy pile on her head. She lifted her phone so I could see her whole body.

“Hi. See? I’m alive and well. All my parts. Breathing. I’m fine. I’m worried about you now.”

I had to laugh. “I guess I got a little irrational.”

She gave me a sympathetic smile. “It’s okay. Shit’s weird out there. How have you been keeping yourself busy? Make any crumbly meat pies?”

Talking to her made me realize just how stark the loneliness had been. It reminded me to call Frank, too. I needed people in my life. I almost always had someone around me, whether it was a teammate or yeah, a hookup. All the stress melted away as we got caught up. Violet passed through her background and said hi at one point.

“Is Violet why you’re not freaking out right now?”

“Yeah. We have each other,” Kitty said. “It’s probably hard for you being alone.”

We talked until my phone was hot in my hand and warning me of its imminent death.

“When’s Mark coming for you?”

“Two days. Wanna talk again tomorrow?”

And that’s how we passed those early days of the pandemic. Heather let the camera roll when they did Kitty’s at-home graduation ceremony. Kitty practiced her SNL audition tape on me. We learned stupid TikTok dances together and did pushup challenges. I won. She didn’t even try. We synched movies together. The vibe was something like we were in high school and college before we officially got together: really good, really affectionate friends. I think we were both afraid to venture into something more because the problem between us still wasn’t resolved. We still couldn’t physically be together.

In late July, it all came to an end. The NHL figured out a way to “bubble” teams together, so I had to go back to practice. And Kitty was off to New York, having landed that SNL spot. Even though most recording was remote, she still needed to be close to the studio. I was so fucking proud of her. And in the back of my mind, I felt a little glad she’d said no to my proposal. She made it, just like she knew she could. By August, we were back to occasional stray texts, memes, and jokes. We were back to our distance keeping us apart.