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Chapter 21

Kitty

We were happy. Time went by too fast. Way too fast.

We both went home for winter break, and I missed Guy so much. Guy surprised me by coming to West Virginia for New Year’s until we went back to school, something he’d worked out with my mom in secret. One night, a light snow fell, and we took a walk around my neighborhood, our old neighborhood. The air smelled of woodsmoke and that indescribable but distinct scent of winter. As we neared the house he used to share with Maman, Guy slowed. We stood in the street in front of it, Guy tucking me into his side but not saying anything.

“Is this hard?”

“Bittersweet. It’s the last place we were happy. Before it all fell apart.” His last sentence was broken. I took off my mitten and wiped the tear that fell down his cheek. “I’m glad we lived here, even if it was just a year.”

I nodded. “It was a good year.”

He turned to me, pulling our fronts together and locking his arms around my waist through all our layers. “I got you out of the deal,” he said, looking down at me. “It doesn’t get better than that.”

“What if we had only met at Alden?”

“I don’t know if I’d have picked Alden if it hadn’t been for you,” Guy said, nuzzling my nose. “But I’m really glad I did. No matter where you go, Kitty Bird, I’ll be right behind you. I can’t imagine a life without you again.”

He bent, hovering his mouth over mine until I couldn’t take it anymore, pulling us together by his coat lapels. His lips were light and soft as the snow falling around us, like we were two figures inside a snow globe. His gloved hands were at my waist and then one at my jaw, cherishing me, surrounding me, making me feel safe. Even though we kissed all the time, he took special care sometimes, building the suspense, soaking up the tension between us. It never failed to give me that roller coaster stomach feeling. Between the snow and where we were and all we’d weathered together, this kiss was magical. I sealed the memory into my head, a sweet moment that was just ours.

I pulled back and watched his coffee eyes. I saw him for who he was to me: the man who loved me, and had loved me all along. He didn’t always get it right, but since we’d been officially dating, he’d gone out of his way to make me feel valued. He put his fears to the side and gave me everything he had. He’d shown me a love so deep, pure and unadulterated. It was time for me to put my fears aside, too. I was finally ready to give him all of my heart.

I mirrored his words from the back of that ambulance in Pennsylvania. “I love you, Guy. Like really love you.”

Guy let out a little gasp and got the brightest smile. “Kitty. Really? You know there’s no pressure. I don’t want you to say it unless you’re sure.”

“Really. I’m absolutely sure. I love you, Guy.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart. Oh my God. You love me. We’re in love. I love you so much.” Guy covered me in kisses, holding both sides of my face. He shouted into the street. “SHE LOVES ME!”

I hadn’t said I love you since we got together as a couple. He’d been forthcoming with it from the car accident on, but he had hurt me so much in the past that I needed more time. He had waited patiently, never pushing me, but telling me he loved me every day. I needed to trust that he wasn’t going to leave me in the lurch again. I needed to know that what we had really was love. And it was.