Page 80 of Pretty Poison
“Iknowotherwise now.” Rocky took a deep breath. “But, boy, was I dumb and gullible back then.” He felt his face heating as he recalled just how easy he’d made Duggins’s job for him.
“You were neither dumb nor gullible,” Karen said. She pointed her pen at Rocky. “What’s the first rule here?”
“We do not talk about fight club.”
Karen snorted. “That’s the second rule.”
“Oh, yeah,” Rocky said. “I’m not allowed to insult myself.”
Karen nodded. “Now tell me what happened next, but do it in a kinder, more constructive way.”
“About this time, my nana had decided to move into a retirement home. She was really struggling with the decision and scared about her future. Nana worried she’d feel trapped and regret selling her house. She’d been an independent woman long before it was cool.”
“Sounds like my kind of gal.”
“She’s the best, our Queen Bea,” Rocky said. “Anyway, it broke my heart to hear her so sad and confused. Asher was out of town on an assignment, and the media attention had turned our apartment into a prison. I think Asher volunteered for extra work just to get away from me, and I couldn’t blame him. Bunkering down by myself was the absolute worst thing for me, so I decided to fly home to help her transition. I needed to be needed.”
“We all do,” Karen said.
Rocky nodded. “When I arrived back home in Savannah, I felt like I could breathe again. Considering the humidity, that says a lot.” Remembering the time made his lungs feel heavy, so he rubbed the spot over his sternum. “Reconnecting with my family was exactly what I’d needed. My first full-blown panic attack hit me when I stepped inside the airport to fly back to Vegas.”
“Had you decided to fight for your marriage?” Karen asked.
Rocky shook his head. “No, but ending our relationship in person felt important. I missed the first flight, then a second and a third. So, I took the easy way out and told Asher I was leaving him over the phone.”
“How’d your husband respond?”
“By getting on a plane,” Rocky said. “We argued for days, but I wouldn’t budge. He went back to Vegas by himself, and I filed for a divorce a few months later.”
“Yet, you’re still married?”
Rocky nodded. “Asher contested the divorce and applied for a transfer. He had big plans to win me back. His first request was granted right away, but the latter didn’t come through until recently.” He smiled. “But it came with the promotion he’d been denied in Vegas.”
They continued talking about the recent changes in Rocky’s life. And even though it was embarrassing, he spoke of his erectile dysfunction and the various things that seemed to improve his condition. “Sleep helps the most.” Heat flushed Rocky’s neck and face. “And, um, Asher employs other techniques to distract my over-busy brain.”
“Erectile dysfunction is a prevalent side effect for people suffering from PTSD,” Karen said. “There’s absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about, and I applaud all methods as long as they are safe and consensual.”
“Absolutely.” And, oh, so very sexy.
“Look, I don’t want to come off sounding like a rep for a pharmaceutical company, but there are reliable and safe prescriptions. Not only for ED but for sleeping.”
“I know,” Rocky said. “I don’t want to come off like some nut job who doesn’t believe in science or medicine either. I know how valuable and important medications are. I just have issues with giving up control. I also don’t want something that makes me groggy. I have to stay sharp in my line of work.”
“I fully understand,” Karen said. “You said Asher travels a lot as a marshal, right?”
“He does.”
“What happens when he’s not home? Will you return to sleeping poorly?”
Rocky hadn’t given it much thought, but she had a valid point. “It’s possible.”
“During your recovery, you’re at a higher risk for falling into codependent relationships. While it seems less addictive and dangerous than medications, I assure you it’s not.” She held up her hand when Rocky started to object. “I’m not saying your marriage falls into that category. I’m just asking you to be aware. I would’ve had this conversation with you sooner if I’d known you were in a relationship.”
“Point taken.”
“What else has been going on with you this week?”
Rocky told her about the changes at the office that resulted in him taking on more responsibility. He even showed her the picture Trudy had taken of him holding Skylar Rose when they met. Rocky wouldn’t divulge details about the new clients he signed but expressed excitement to work with them. He talked; Karen listened. She only interrupted if she wanted to clarify something or delve deeper into his feelings.