Page 73 of Pretty Poison

“Not when you’re handling it so well,” his friend replied drolly.

“Fine,” Rocky said. “The Felix Franklin goon ranking system was based on the order in which you spoke. Asher was the first, then Dandridge, and so on.”

Eddie cupped his mouth with both hands. “Boooo.”

“Lame,” Zack added.

“Speaking of lame,” Felix said. “Please tell me you’re serving us more than celery and strawberries.”

“Of course,” Rocky replied. “We have burgers, hot dogs, brats, and Impossible Burgers. Lots of sides to choose from like coleslaw, baked beans, mac and—”

“Go back,” Jonah said. “A what burger?”

“Impossible Burger. It’s a plant-based mixture that mimics hamburger,” Avery said. “You’ve eaten it before.”

Jonah screwed up his face in mock horror. “I have not.”

Avery snorted. “I used it to make tacos last week.”

“No, you didn’t. That was beef,” Jonah said adamantly.

Avery shook his head. “No, it wasn’t.”

“Huh,” Jonah said. “I didn’t notice the difference.”

“Yeah, well, your heart and liver did,” Avery said, tucking himself under Jonah’s arm.

Jude narrowed his eyes at Felix. “Have you pulled that switcharoo on me?”

“Hell no,” Felix said. “If this fake-meat tomfoolery is the result of Avery and Rocky working together, then I say we break them up. And who here today doesn’t eat meat?” He scanned the gathering like the mere thought was an egregious act of sedition.

Dandridge raised his hand. “I’m a vegan.”

Jude and Felix stared at him like they couldn’t fathom such an awful thing.

“Really?” Jonah asked. “You seriously don’t eat meat?”

“What kind of meat are we talking about?” Marla sassily asked as she sauntered over. She’d worn a shimmery western-style shirt, a flouncy skirt in the same ivory color, intricately designed leather boots, and a red glittery cowgirl hat atop her head. She’d plaited her wig into two long braids that nearly reached her waist. “All meat isn’t created equal.” They laughed at her obvious double entendre. She looped her arm through Dandridge’s. “They pump so many additives, hormones, and other bad things into our food. Don’t let them bust your balls for doing the healthy thing.”

Dandridge smiled. “I’m getting used to the teasing. To be honest, it’s a rather new lifestyle change since I met my boyfriend.”

“Fiancé,” Eddie corrected.

“Another recent development,” Zack added.

“Congratulations, darling,” Marla said, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. “That’s a whole lot of change all at once.”

Dandridge smiled. “I’ve struggled with it at times.”

“With the man or meat?” she asked.

“The meat,” Dandridge admitted. “I’m looking forward to trying the Impossible Burgers, though. I’ve heard great things.”

“Don’t you try to sneak one of those on my plate,” Felix said, bouncing his menacing glare between Rocky and Avery.

“You wouldn’t notice if they did,” Jonah replied.

“Sounds like a challenge to me,” Jude said. “You up for it, Ace?”