Page 3 of Pretty Poison

“We didn’t like each other very much,” Felix added, which was something they’d never shared publicly.

“No,” Jonah corrected. “Leave me out of that equation. You two couldn’t stand each other on sight.”

Mad Dog laughed. “Why not?”

The question was a natural sequitur, but one Rocky didn’t have a ready answer for. Since Felix was the one who’d opened this can of worms, it was only fair for him to field the question. Rocky turned and met Felix’s roguish gaze. “Tell the nice man why you didn’t like me, Fee.”

Felix narrowed his eyes. “You know why, Major.”

“Yes,Ido, but I’m not the one who brought it up,” Rocky countered. Then he sighed dramatically and faced Mad Dog, who stared at them with wide-eyed interest. “He thinks I’m prettier than him, and he’s jealous.”

Felix chuckled and shook his head. “Puh-lease.” He hooked his thumb in Rocky’s direction and leaned toward Mad Dog. “Major here is hung up on size. He’s worried that he doesn’tmeasureup.”

Rocky snorted and looked over at Felix. “As if. I have nothing to be ashamed of.” Facing Mad Dog once more, he said, “I’m a grower. He’s a shower.”

“Um, guys,” Mad Dog said slowly. “You’re making me really happy this isn’t a live interview right now.”

“What?” Felix asked.

“Why?” Rocky added.

“I can’t afford to have my show yanked because you guys are talking about penis sizes.”

“Penis sizes?” Rocky and Felix both asked, then looked at each other.

“Wait, were you talking about your dick?” Rocky asked.

“No, and you can’t say dick on the radio,” Felix replied.

“What were you talking about, then?” Mad Dog asked.

“Brains,” Rocky replied. “Felix likes to show off by using big fancy words.”

Felix shook his head. “And I was talking about muscles.” Then he flexed his biceps for everyone to see.

Mad Dog’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “I’ve been had.”

“Lucky you,” Felix and Rocky said at once.

“Jesus,” Jonah groaned.

“Does this happen often?” Mad Dog asked him.

“Uh-huh, but you get used to it.” Jonah laughed. “The reason these two jackasses didn’t get along was because they’re so much alike.”

“Can he say jackass on the radio?” Rocky asked Felix.

“It means donkey,” Felix said. “So, yeah. Just don’t mention the donkey’s dick, and you’ll be fine.”

Ignoring them, Jonah continued. “They’re either hissing and spitting at one another or completing each other’s sentences like they’ve been married for sixty-five years. You never know which interaction you’ll get and will often witness both in a short span.”

“Sounds like Jonah is getting sick of us,” Rocky said to Felix, who nodded.

“Sure does.”

Mad Dog chuckled. “This is the most fun I’ve had during an interview in ages. As a fan of your show, I’ve picked up on the chemistry between the three of you, but seeing your dynamic in action is a wonderful thing.”

“Everyone should have friends like these two,” Felix said.