Page 57 of Poison Apple Crisp
Eliza sighs as the sommelier comes by, and she motions for him to pour her a glass of red and keep it coming.
“I don’t know, Miranda.” Eliza gives me the side-eye. “I’d like nothing more than to be lost in fantasyland right there with you, but this is Essex we’re talking about. He’s tenacious.”
“Mother.” Everett shoots her a look as if to saythat’s enough.
“Well, you are.” Eliza shares Everett’s jet-black hair and brilliant blue eyes. She’s wearing a navy gown with a large amethyst hooked to her neck by way of a solid silver necklace that proves immovable on her. “You’re going to put all of your time and energy into this relationship. And where is the guarantee she’s not going to be sharing Noah’s bed in a year? With their own child nestled between them. You’ll be heartbroken.”
My own heart breaks just hearing it.
Evie clucks her tongue. “Don’t worry, Dad. You’ll be stuck with me forever.”
“And me.” I pick up Everett’s hand and give it a squeeze, and he squeezes right back with a hint of promise of more sultry squeezes to come.
“Hear that, Noah?” Suze bares her fangs my way. “This is already ending badly for you.”
“It’s not the end,” Noah is quick to contest.
“That’s right,” I say, picking up his hand as well. And my cheeks heat because I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the way out of this pregnant predicament. “I mean, Noah will always have a very special place in my heart.”
Carlotta chuckles. “And your bedroom.” She winks his way. “Lot Lot and Foxy here put a lot of mileage on that mattress of hers.”
Wiley belts out a hearty guffaw. “You get that from me, son. You’re welcome.” He leans my way. “Or perhaps I should say those words to you, too, Lottie.You’rewelcome.”
Mayor Nash gives a wistful shake of the head. “I think it’s safe to say Lottie got her libido from yours truly.” Carlotta and Wiley join in on the nefarious laughter.
Kill me.
The food arrives, but according to that dangerous gleam in Carlotta’s eye, that little culinary detail isn’t going to slow her down.
“In fact”—Carlotta snaps a breadstick out of a bucket that just landed on the table and points it my way—“Lot and Foxy here shared a little get back together or BUST time around the time of Keelie’s wedding, and that’s what puts him in the running with the baby bottle league to begin with.”
Mom winces. “Oh, Carlotta, I’m pretty sure Lottie is going to breastfeed.”
“Eww.” Evie drops her fork before her plate ever touches the table. “Mom, don’t let the little barnacle suck on your boobs. That’s gross. If child services hears about it, they’ll take it away. And neither Uncle Noah nor Dad will be able to stop it.”
“Evie.” I shake my head her way. “That’s what they’re for.” I covertly point to my chest. “And nobody is going to take the baby away from me.”
Suze points her knife at Noah and nods as if I just issued a threat.
Oh dear Lord.
Carlotta scoffs. “Well, all right, fine. If no one is going to ask what BUST is, I’ll fill ya in myself. B-U-S-T—break-up-sexy-time. That’s exactly what Lot Lot and Foxy here indulged in right before she trotted off to Judge Baxter’s love cave, otherwise known as his chambers, and declared him to be the love of her life.”
“Carlotta,” I hiss. And how exactly was she privy to all the delicate details of the voracious love life I happened to have in June?
I take a quick breath.
Nell!
She was the last living—ordeceased—soul in the room with Noah and me that day that we were having that soulmate-inspired conversation she sparked. Not that I’m blaming her for the fact IBUSTeda move with my soon-to-be ex. I couldn’t help it. I was still confused at that point, and Noah smelled nice, and felt safe and comfortable. It was a moment of weakness that turned into a moment of passion, and just may have sponsored this tiny little peanut in my belly.
The waitstaff finishes landing every plate where it belongs, and suddenly my nose and, my stomach by proxy, is hyperaware that someone here has a tad too much garlic in their dinner.
A horrid groan comes from me.
Carlotta points my way with that breadstick in her hand again, albeit a couple of bites shorter.
“Now that’s a sound I’m all too familiar with.” She offers Eliza a sharp look. “You’d be proud to know your big boy is more than capable of eliciting a special sound or two from my little Lot Lot. But don’t worry. I’m spending most nights next door keeping the boogey man away from Evie Stevie.”