Page 33 of Poison Apple Crisp
And yes, it’s perfect with both Noah and Everett.
And this sweet baby is the icing on this very delicious cake.
Chapter 10
It turns out, Alyssa Thomas is working tonight in a dive bar down in Leeds. I made the call right while grabbing a bite with both Noah and Everett, and shockingly neither of them was all that impressed with my tenacity to go forward with my own investigation.
Noah went back to work and said he wouldn’t be home until the wee hours of the morning, so I proposed Everett join me in our first ever investigative date night. I let him know just because we’re hitched, he wasn’t getting a free pass on laying on the charm—to which he quickly replied that he plans to lay out all the charm I can handle in the bedroom until he’s given up the ghost.
Speaking of ghosts, Ginger, the adorable little Pom, is floating by my side as Everett and I stand outside of the Brew Ha Ha Bar and Grill. It’s well after seven, and my feet are aching from putting in a hard afternoon at the bakery. I’m not sure why my feet feel as if I’ve just run a marathon, but I’m going to take a cue from Keelie and order a pair of those clogs she started wearing while she was pregnant, the ones specially designed for nurses. I remember her telling me it felt as if she was walking on a cloud, and thanks to next day shipping, I’m about to walk on a couple of clouds myself come tomorrow.
The autumn air is icy. A vat of dark boiling clouds looms overhead with the threat of rain, and it’s dark as midnight out. Everett holds my hand as we stare at the establishment with apprehension. A giant neon donkey holds a flashing sign that readsBrew Ha Ha! Best booze and ass in town!
I shake my head. “Is there not one place in this decrepit town that has an ounce of dignity?”
Leeds, the town in which we stand in, is located just below Honey Hollow, and yet it might as well be an entire solar system away. Leeds is as seedy and tawdry as they come, and it seems that every time an investigation calls for a seedy, tawdry location, we don’t have to look any further than our neighboring town.
“Don’t worry, Lemon.” Everett glides an arm around my waist. “I’m not here for the booze or anything the waitresses might be wiggling on by with. Let’s try to enjoy dinner, and hopefully you can get a pop quiz in with Alyssa.” He gives a little wink.
The poltergeist of that tiny Pomeranian blinks to life in a spray of hot pink stars.
“I’m all for enjoying dinner,” Ginger trills. “How I hope they have Fancy Beast on the menu. I do miss my old dinner mush.” She glides right through the door, literally just before Everett and I head in the old-fashioned way.
No sooner do we step inside the dimly lit, boisterous establishment than the scent of garlic hits me hard.
A horrid groan comes from me, and I start to dash for the door before stopping cold in my nauseated tracks. I take a few steady breaths.
“Lemon? It’s the garlic again, isn’t it?” Everett tries to shuttle me to the door, but I dig my heels in.
“No, it’s fine,” I pant. Because dear God Almighty, it is so not fine. “I just have to remind myself that I love garlic. Garlic is my friend. Garlic is not out to get me. And the tiny being I’m brewing in my belly is not a vampire. Oh my God, Everett, it’s not a vampire, is it?”
Everett’s cheek cinches to the side. “Not unless there’s something we don’t know about Noah. Baxter DNA is vampire-free.”
A tiny laugh trembles through me. “Whew,” I say as the feeling that I’m about to puke my entrails out subsides and is quickly replaced with a ravenous hunger. “I feel better.”
“Did you notice you felt better after I said a few deprecating words about Noah? I think we’re onto a cure for your morning sickness.”
“My all day sickness,” I point out. “And I see what you’re doing. So very funny.” I shake my head at him. “Now let’s get some food in my belly. I suddenly feel as if I can eat everything they offer plus the menu.”
We head into the bar, and a waitress greets us with an ear-to-ear grin, but before I can even think of smiling back, I take in her strange headdress and… is that a tail?
“I’m sorry,” I say to her while squinting up at the brown furry concoction sprouting from her head. “Are those supposed to be bunny ears?”
The cute little blonde gives her ears a pat.
“They’re donkey ears.” She turns, giving her bottom a shake, and that pointed brown tail swings side to side. “It’s the Brew Ha Ha’s mascot.”
“Let me guess.” I lean in. “The bunny ears were taken?”
She belts out a strange hee-haw of a laugh that has both Everett and me on edge. I can tell she rattled him because he just squeezed the life out of my hand.
The blonde shrugs. “They pay us to do the laugh, too. You want to sit at the bar or a booth?”
“Table,” Everett says as he points just past her. “I think we’ll be at that one.”
I follow his finger, only to find Noah Fox seated with quite the spread of deep-fried dishes scattered around him, and we head on over.
“I thought you were working late,” I say as I land in the seat next to him and pluck a weird looking fry out of a basket before popping it into my pie hole.