Page 29 of Poison Apple Crisp
“I’m glad you came, Uncle Noah.” Evie wraps her arms around him and gives him a warm embrace. Evie looks adorable in her black skinny jeans and white cable sweater. And as she squeezes Noah tightly, I can see the leather gun holster from under his tweed jacket that houses his weapon. “You too, Crazy.” She hugs Carlotta as well.
I know for a fact Evie has called Carlotta just about everything trying to figure out what she’s most comfortable with, and personally I’m rooting for Crazy. Let’s be honest—it fits best.
Evie steps to the left of our small circle. “And how can I forget you?” She lunges at an older man, and both Everett and I exchange a curious glance.
“Look who’s here?” Evie turns our way. “It’s my Uncle Luke!”
A groan comes from both Everett and me in unison, and I believe Noah just took a deep breath.
Luke Lazzari is a notorious crime boss who once dated Carlotta way back when. According to her, Luke was almost my father. He’s nearly bald with gray eyes and a pointed chin. Luke is the one that tracked Evie down when we were looking to find her. Carlotta pulled her underworld strings and had both of the notorious crime families in the area looking for her.
We exchange niceties and follow Evie toward the scholastic holy land while teenagers in fancy tricked-out cars zoom past us with their radios turned up a little too loud. And standing in front of us like a stone behemoth is Honey Hollow High, gleaming with pride. All of my diciest memories were made within those unhallowed halls.
“This is a big day.” Noah picks up my hand and kisses it. “Are you excited?”
“Heck yes, I’m excited. And I’m nervous for her, too. I didn’t exactly love high school. I’m hoping Evie will have an easier time with it.”
Noah runs his tongue over his teeth. “You didn’t tell her, did you, Everett?”
“Tell me what?” I look to my tall, handsome, forever stoic husband. “What is it, Everett?”
He glowers over at Noah. “I thought we’d focus on the first big milestone of the day before we get to the second.”
Carlotta chortles as she looks to Luke. “These three are entertaining as all heck. The other night they were running up and down the street in their underwear, Foxy made Mr. Sexy dance by way of bullets, then they went back to her place and a good time was had by all.”
Evie turns our way with a sour expression.
“I think this is about as far as we should go.” She gives a quick wave. “I’ll be at cheer practice until five, then Conner is taking me to dinner. Good luck at the doctor’s appointment, Mom. Who knows? Maybe they’ll do an ultrasound and you’ll see if the baby is holding a gavel or a shiny badge?” She gives a little wink.
“What?” I shake my head and wince as if I had a hard time hearing her. “I don’t have an appointment—”Before I can finish my sentence, two blonde bimbos glom onto Evie, both dressed in black and wailing at the top of their socialite lungs.
Evie swats them away with her backpack, and soon both Cormack and Cressida are shouting at her.
“Public school is not a good look on you, Everly! You’ll regret this!” Cressida is quick to threaten the girl she birthed. I refuse to call her Evie’s mother.
Everett strides toward the dodo birds in our presence. “What are the two of you doing here?”
Cormack wastes no time in attaching herself to Noah. “Oh, thank God, you’re here. Talk some sense into her.”
“Cormack”—I smack her away from Noah with my purse—“Evie is already on her way to homeroom. What the heck is wrong with you?”
“Yes, Cressida.” Everett’s voice is tight with anger. “What the heck is wrong with you?”
Cressida tugs at her designer tracksuit. “Oh, come off it, Essex. Everyone knows you can’t go far in life if you attend the wrong schools. Look what happened to Lorretta.” She points my way. “The woman eats donuts for a living, and now’s she knocked up and she doesn’t know who the daddy is. What do you think is going to happen to our daughter after that school infects her with a serious case of blue collar?”
Everett lowers his chin and takes a breath. My guess is he’s mentally counting to ten.
“Cressida”—his voice comes out measured—“Evie will be fine. She’s already determined to go to college, and she’s considering many colorful and varied career choices. I’m giving you five minutes to vacate the premises before I do everything in my power to garner a restraining order on my daughter’s behalf. She doesn’t need you turning her life into a circus.”
Cressida scoffs. “You’re one to talk, Essex. Taking up Noah’s sloppy seconds.” She jabs him in the chest with her finger. “You may have ruined your life, but I’m not letting you destroy Everly’s. I’ll see you in court.” She tugs her blonde, dimwitted sidekick by the arm.
Cormack wags a finger at Noah. “And I’ll see you at the B&B for game night! I know you’ve got the brawn, Big Boss. Now is your chance to let your brain shine through.” She blows him a kiss while being dragged backward. “And, Lorna, you take care of Essex’s baby!”
Cressida gives her a powerful jerk and sends Cormack sailing like a kite. As terrible as it sounds, I hope she dislocated an elbow.
Carlotta scoffs. “Her name is Lot Lot!” she shouts after them. “Get it right!”
Neither Cormack nor Cressida has said my name properly since we’ve met. It’s either a cheap ploy on their part to get under my skin or they are genuinely too vapid to get it straight after all this time. I’m betting on the latter.