Page 48 of Poison Apple Crisp
“You two brainiacs still at it?” She shakes her head at Noah and Everett. “I think we all know this isn’t about whose brain is bigger, more like who’s got the bigger—”
“Heart,” I finish for her. It’s the second time she’s used this euphemism, so I felt better prepared. “They’re both happy to help for a good cause. And by the way,hot tubis two words.”
She makes a face. “Whatever.” Carlotta steals a drink from my mother just as she steps up. “Don’t wait up for me, Lot. I’ve got a hot tub date with two of the biggest hearts I know.” A devilish laugh pumps from her. “And if that sounded as if it could go more than one way, it’s because it could.” She knocks back the fruity concoction in her hand and gives the empty glass back to my mother. “Tootles.”
“Tootles!” my mother calls out, thankfully back into her red sparkly dress.
A thought comes to me. “Mom, were you sitting back there in nothing but your unmentionables?” For some reason, the thought of her being dressed from the waist down satiated me.
She waves me off. “Oh, Lottie, you’re always such a prude. It was all for a great cause.” She swivels her shoulders. “Besides, Wiley loves my wild side.”
A hard roll of nausea bounces through me just as Wiley comes upon us looking every bit like Noah aged about twenty years.
“Darn right.” He gives my mother’s rear a squeeze, and just the sight of it sends another wave of nausea through me, twice as hard as the one before.
“Lottie?” a tiny child’s voice calls out from behind, and I turn in time to see little Lea herself with her dark hair combed over her face, that bloody hatchet dangling by her side.
I bend over a notch, since she hardly comes up to my hip.
“That’s me,” I whisper a bit too cheerily. “What’s going on, kiddo?” I wouldn’t normally speak to a spirit so blatantly in front of people, but the only people who are nearby are my mother and Wiley, and they’re too busy goosing one another to care if I’m carrying on a conversation with thin air.
“I believe this belongs to you,” Lea says as she pulls something from behind her back and thrusts it my way.
Shoved in my face is yet another face, a far furrier one—and one that’s been severed at the neck at that.
GAH! Poor Ginger has lost her head!
I spin on my heels in fright and I’m about to scream, but my body has other plans as I upchuck my cookies onto the table right between Noah and Everett.
Ginger scampers onto the table in front of me, prancing around with her head right back on her body the way God intended.
“I suppose it’s too late to tell you it was meant as a harmless prank.” Ginger barks out anI’m sorrybefore disappearing into a ball of dust.
Suffice it to say, it’s game over for Noah and Everett.
I’m quickly shuttled home, into a hot shower, then into bed where Everett holds me in his strong, capable arms.
I fall asleep thinking about that book that was stolen from me.
It might just be game over for Cokie Hickman, too.
In fact, you can add the killer onto that game over list. That is, if they’re not one and the same.
Chapter 13
It’s anotherbooty-fultoo-hot-to-handle day that started off with Hot Hannah and her harem of hussies. And how I hate that so many of my friends and family members have taken to this madness.
This morning I even spotted my half-sisters, Kelleth and Aspen, indulging in the gluteus maximus madness. Since Margo is still opening the bakery for me, I’ve taken to sitting by the window watching the sultry show while stuffing my face with fried pickles.
Who knew the pickled treat could pair so well with apple Danish and coffee? Not that I felt guilt-free while noshing on my breakfast. It’s hard to chow down on carbs when everyone you know, andbothof your mothers, are out there turning their derrieres into virtual hot buns. And if I keep eating the way I am, I’m going to turn into an entire sheet pan of sticky buns that have been proofing for nine long months.
The bakery is already pumping by the time I make an appearance.
Lily hands me an apron as I make my way behind the counter.
“Why the long face, Lottie? Noah and Everett forget to give you breakfast in bed? No foot rub before you left the house?”
“No to both, but I don’t expect that kind of treatment every day.” Everett gave me a total body massage all on his own this morning, but I don’t feel like sharing that info. “Everett made me coffee,” I say. “And Noah just took off for work like he usually does. I guess they’re used to the idea of me being knocked up by now. Things are getting back to normal.”