Page 37 of Poison Apple Crisp
Wait a minute. If I don’t keep my word, that’ll make me a liar. Oh my goodness, what if I’m loaded with liar DNA? If that’s the case, I bet that bit of genetic material comes straight from Carlotta.
It would figure that would be her contribution to the little peanut growing in my belly.
Alyssa leans in just as the other women sporting donkey ears and tails traipse out of the room in single file.
“I was once married to a preacher back in Oregon.” She shrugs. “He went missing, and I was pegged as the killer.” She sayskillerin air quotes. “I was tried and convicted in the court of public opinion, so I left the state and moved to Vermont. I remarried, and now my son and I have a whole different life out here.
“His stepfather is wonderful. We don’t talk about what happened with his father, but just last spring, the detective I hired sent pictures of him hiding out in Canada. He owed the wrong people money and wanted a new beginning. He didn’t think the men who were threatening him would come after my son or me, and it turns out, he was right.” She leans in and looks me in the eye. A cold chill rides up and down my spine as she does it, and suddenly I’m wondering if I’m safe in this woman’s presence. “Nobody knows that but you and me.” She nods. “My son doesn’t even know all the dirty details. So don’t go feeding the rumor mill, or I’m going to know who spilled the beans. And I don’t take too kindly to people who spill my secrets after I’ve asked them not to. Got it, missy?”
I give a feverish nod. “I won’t say a word.”
“Good.” She spins me toward the door, and it’s only then I see it’s just the two of us in the room. I’m all alone in a dark corner with a suspect—in the exact predicament I promised Noah and Everett I wouldn’t find myself in. “Now let’s get out there. We’ve got a room full of jackasses to entertain.”
We head out as bawdy music blares overhead, and I stand next to one of the girls who was in the back room with me. The entire lot of us has formed what looks to be a kickline, and I follow their lead as I tap-dance alongside them. We wiggle our ears and shake our tails much to the delight of the crowd. And with a loud clap, the women I’m with disperse to the four corners of the establishment, each finding a vacant lap to call their own. So I do what any girl in my lucky position would do. I hightail it over to Noah and Everett—and I meanhightailin the literal sense. But once I arrive, I find a couple of frisky mules already kicking in my pen.
“All right, girls,” I say, trying to pluck a drooling redhead off of Everett. “Back off. These boys belong to me.”
Ginger barks up an earful of vengeance. “You tell them, Lottie. Don’t be afraid to bare your fangs and throw a little growl in there. There’s nothing wrong with letting the other witches know where you stand.” Although, I don’t think she saidwitches. Thankfully, the music jerked up a notch just in time to leave it ambiguous, so my ears settled on the tamer term.
The brunette pawing at Noah’s tie gives a bored glance my way.
“Step off, sweetheart”—she mewls— “this table is full.”
By the looks of the matching skimpy Brew Ha Ha T-shirts these two bimbos have donned, I can tell they’re genuine waitresses here. And I’m guessing they’re hoping Noah and Everett will get mighty creative with their tips, and perhaps their lips.
The redhead all but sticks her mouth in Everett’s ear, and I pluck her right off of him and send her flying toward the bar.
The brunette in Noah’s lap wraps her arms around his neck, and I step forward.
“You’re next, sweetheart,” I say as I pull her up by the tresses, and she belts out an ear-piercing scream.
“You don’t touch me!” she riots in my face before grabbing me by the shoulders and launching me right into—
“Everett!” I pant as he pulls me in tight.
The woman tries to swipe at my hair, and Noah does his best to hold her back while Everett and I make a speedy exit.
No sooner do we get outside than Noah is right there with us.
“Lottie, are you nuts?” Noah’s eyes blaze with fire. “That woman just threatened to press charges. You can’t pick a fight. You’re with child.”
“Excuse me,” I say, affronted by his word choice. “I am not nuts.” Iamwith child, but I don’t want to affirm the fact because I stubbornly don’t want him to be right.
Everett locks eyes with me. “You weren’t exactly acting responsibly.”
“Why do I get the feeling the two ofyouare picking a fight withme? I was defending you both from those heated hussies. Or maybe the two of you prefer to spend your time with those heated hussies. I don’t know. You weren’t exactly pushing them away.”
Both Noah and Everett insist they were attempting to give the women the boot, but a sharp pain in my foot steals their thunder as I howl at the top of my lungs.
“Foot cramp!” I scream so loud I’m sure all of Leeds is aware of my phalangeal predicament.
Everett scoops me off my feet while Noah magically produces a bottle of water, and I do my best to chug it.
The three of us head back to Honey Hollow and end up in my living room—me with my feet propped up while both Noah and Everett each take a foot and massage it. Both Pancake and Waffles are in my arms, and I’m happy snuggling with them while my feet are getting the best spa treatment known to man—or more to the point,woman.
Noah already called Margo from the Honey Pot to open the bakery for me in the morning, and Everett has threatened to order thousands of dollars’ worth of prescription shoes to remedy the problem.
“Lemon.” Everett warms my foot with his hands. “While you were speaking with Alyssa, Noah and I were talking about the future.”