Page 27

CHAPTER 26

JENNER

W hen I woke up the next morning, I flung my arm across the bed to pull Camden to me but was met with cold sheets instead, which made me lift my head. She had to be in the bathroom or downstairs, right?

Wrong. After checking everywhere, I hurried back up to the bedroom to get my phone, which was charging on the nightstand next to my bed, worry taking hold and making my mouth water. If something had happened… I gave my phone a yank and unlocked it, ready to figure out where the hell Camden was, when I saw that I had a text from her.

From well after I’d fallen asleep.

I didn’t want to wake you, but I had to go home. I don’t feel like you took my feelings or worries seriously and don’t want to argue with you in the morning before your game. Wouldn’t want you to be distracted and get hurt. But if we want a future together, one where neither of us get hurt, we do have to figure this out later. I just want you to take me seriously.

I love you, but we’ll talk after your game and figure it all out later. I’m just too upset right now.

What the fuck?

I’d taken her feelings seriously, hadn’t I? I thought I did. Told her she didn’t have anything to worry about when it came to me. Why couldn’t she just believe that ?

She’d said she didn’t want to talk until after the game, but I couldn’t go into the game with this on my mind, so I called her.

“Hello,” she said hesitantly.

“You left?” I barked out. “Just waited for me to go to sleep, then you left?”

She sighed into the phone. “Wow. You’re coming in hot, aren’t you? Jenner, this is why I didn’t want to talk to you until after the game today. You’re going to go into it all pissy.”

“You’re damn right I am, but that was going to happen either way.” I brought my tone down so it didn’t seem like I was yelling.

“Did you not read my text?” she asked.

“Yeah. I did, but you’re being ridiculous about all of this. I don’t even get why you’re upset. Last night was nothing. We talked. It was done.”

This time, she huffed out a breath like she couldn’t believe I’d said that and at this point, I didn’t understand what this was even about.

“Of course you don’t,” she snapped. “Because you don’t see that last night you dismissed my concerns just like you dismissed me the first time I told you I was in love with you and yeah… Maybe I have some baggage from that, but that means we have to talk about these things for this to work.”

My heart sputtered and my blood ran cold. “Are you saying that you want to end this because of what I said last night? ”

She groaned. “No. I’m not saying that and I’m not even sure how you’re reading that into what I am saying.”

“Then explain it to me like I’m five because what you say makes no sense. I told you that you don’t need to be unsure of anything.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not. There are reasons that I want things to be clear. This relationship affects more than just us and you haven’t even thought about that. All I wanted to do was talk last night and you brushed me off as if you saying , ‘Hey, don’t worry’ is all I need.” She took a deep breath. I could hear the intake over the phone. “Now, you have a game to go prep for and this could turn into a bigger argument, so I’m going to cut us off. Since we both clearly need to do some thinking and cool off a bit, let’s talk tomorrow, OK? Have a good game, Jenner.” She ended the call.

Well, fuck.

Had I come in too strong? Was she right?

I’d have to think about it while I got ready to go to the field, given that, like an idiot, I hadn’t set my alarm last night.

Camden was so skittish about this relationship. Always worrying about how her brother would react, what people would say, how it would affect us if it didn’t work out, given that we were both going to be part of the club and would have to work together.

I didn’t give a shit about any of that. I just wanted her. Now that I had her, I had to make sure I could keep her .

And while I didn’t care, it was likely I’d have good things to look forward to from her brothers because she was upset. If they knew what was good for them, they’d stay out of this argument. It wasn’t any of their business.

I went through the day on autopilot and the guys treated me the same as they always did. Even Silas had started to thaw over the idea of me with his sister.

Being able to do my prep shit without thinking about it gave me time to go over everything in my head and fuck.

Camden was right.

I had been dismissive, but only because I’d already known there was nothing to worry about. That didn’t matter, though. I’d been the one to purposefully try to crush her feelings for me before, so maybe that was a trigger for her. I didn’t know, but I had to make it better.

Starting with honoring her request for us not to talk tonight, other than to send her a goodnight text and remind her that I loved her. She replied with the same thing.

The next day, I was in the clubhouse alone with my thoughts with the things Camden had pointed out playing on a loop in my head.

Last time, I’d dismissed her for her own good, which she seemed to understand, but it had also ended up with her severely injured. I’d hurt her in more than one way, even if the injury hadn’t been directly my fault. I could’ve handled that better by telling her the truth. At that time, I could’ve told her that she was my best friend’s sister and too young to get tangled up with.

That would’ve been smart.

But no. I had to make it seem like there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d ever want her.

So I could see where dismissing her worries might trigger a response. She wasn’t going to let me get away with it again and I fucking loved her for it.

After sending her a quick text letting her know I was thinking about her, I waited for a reply that didn’t come, at least not quickly.

It would’ve taken a lot for Camden to tell me how she felt before and I’d gone and overlooked any insecurities she had over and over.

That was my flaw when it came to her. I wanted her to feel safe and secure with me so badly that I was doing it all wrong to try to convince her.

The rest of the team started filing in, which included her brothers. Time to snap out of it and focus on the game.

“Hey, guys,” I said as I stood to put on my practice gear. There were mumbles of a greeting, but Brooks glared at me with a tight jaw.

Ah. Brooks knew that Camden and I were in a not-so-great spot right now and that it absolutely was my fault.

Silas glanced from his brother to me. “What’s going on? Jenner piss in your cereal this morning?”

I snorted. “You know I prefer to piss in private.” Which wasn’t exactly true, but the best I could come up with in this situation .

“Jokes won’t work,” Brooks said, making all of his brothers curious.

“Uh-oh.” Cobb tossed his glove in his locker. “What’d you do?”

Yeah. That was for me. “Your sister’s pissed at me right now. That’s it. I’ll fix it.”

“What’d he do?” Urban asked his brother, but he was giving me the stink eye.

“I already told you. She’s mad. I’ll make it right.”

“Yeah,” Urban finally said. “But why is she mad?”

“Apparently, he’s being an asshole to her,” Brooks snapped.

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, brother,” I told him. “I did do something yes, but I’m not being an asshole to her. It’s a misunderstanding and I’m going to talk to her tonight.”

But Silas lurched at me like a man on a mission and I took a step back out of surprise. Cobb and Urban were closest, so they jumped in front of him to hold him back.

“No fighting in the clubhouse,” Urban said in a strained voice as Silas struggled against him.

Once the two of them had gotten Silas under control, Cobb added, “Yeah. Don’t want to be sent to Mom’s office.”

It took everything I had not to snort because it’d been a jab about getting sent to the principal’s office, but the principal was your mom.

“I fucking knew it,” Silas said, no longer looking to fight but still stepping up to me. “I knew this was a bad idea. What’d you do? Did you fucking cheat on her?”

I sighed as I shook my head. “You know I wouldn’t do that.”

“I don’t know fully what happened,” Brooks said, loud enough for us to hear, though glancing around, I found that most of the team was minding their own business. They were used to us being rough with each other. “All I know is that when I got home yesterday, Camden was there talking to Harlowe. I picked up enough to know that when Camden cried out of frustration, it was because of him.”

“You made my sister cry?” Silas balled his hand into a fist again.

“Not on purpose,” I told him as I held up my hands to try to calm him. “Plus, Brooks said it was out of frustration. Do you think any of your women haven’t been frustrated with you enough to cry?” At least they had the guts to admit that to themselves. “Right. The only thing is that they don’t have brothers who know about it or can come after your asses.”

“You better fucking fix it,” Silas spat. “Or fucking let her go so she doesn’t have to deal with it.”

I nodded, but the second part to his solution wasn’t going to happen. I mean, clearly, if Camden wanted out of this, I’d let her go. I’m not a psycho, but I was going to fucking fix it and make sure she knew that her feelings were important to me. The most important.

“I’m going to,” I vow.

“Good.” He turned back to his locker, probably so he didn’t have to look at me again. “You’re the fucking reason Camden has hated baseball players all these years.”

I shook my head and muttered, “She didn’t actually hate baseball players.”

“Just you, then,” he countered and it was like being stabbed in the heart.

But Camden had said she hadn’t actually hated me, either, no matter how much she’d wanted to.

“It’s also why, even though she’s fantastic,” he continued, “she has so many insecurities about men in general. Which is messed up, but you did that to her.”

Fuck. Camden didn’t present herself as insecure about anything, which was probably why I hadn’t caught on myself. I didn’t want her to be insecure about me.

“I messed up,” I told them. “I’m going to fix it and I never wanted to do any of that. I thought I was doing the right thing five years ago and in theory, I was.” Then I focused on Silas. “As pissed as you are about me with your sister now, could you imagine what it would’ve been like five years ago?”

“I would’ve had to kill you.”

“Exactly. So, it was a mistake. Nothing more.”

“Yeah?” Brooks asked. “It might’ve been a mistake, but she was still crying on my fucking couch.”

And that killed me. I didn’t want to cause her any tears.

I lowered my chin to my chest in defeat as my hands went limp beside me. Picturing her crying on his couch was like ripping my own heart out and stomping it on the ground. And I didn’t give a shit if she was just crying out of frustration or if that was just what she’d said. Because some of it hadn’t been frustration.

As my stomach turned, I stomped out of the clubhouse. I didn’t need them to tell me I’d fucked up. I already knew it and if I stayed there listening to them, I’d leave and go to her, which I absolutely couldn’t do right now.

I was going to make it right.

Since I couldn’t go to her, I found a quiet place and pulled my phone out to call her. The rings rattled my brain, but she never picked up. After hearing her sweet voice, I said, “Hey, baby. I know we’re going to talk tonight, but I couldn’t wait until then to tell you how sorry I am that I dismissed your feelings instead of reassuring you. It’s not a mistake I’ll ever make again. I’m not trying to excuse anything, but in my mind, I thought I was being reassuring telling you that you have nothing to worry about. I realize now that I have to show you. You absolutely deserve someone who listens and I’m going to be that person for you.” I took a calming breath. “I’ll see you tonight.”

After ending the call, I stood there with my phone in my hand hoping for an immediate text, but again, that didn’t come. Chances were she was busy, anyway.

But I meant every word of what I’d said.

And tonight, I’d start to show her that I meant it.