Page 17

CHAPTER 17

CAMDEN

T he morning after I’d had sex with Jenner, I waited patiently until I thought Brooks would’ve left for the park then headed straight to my best friend. Imagine my surprise when his car was still in the driveway.

What could I do, though? I still had to go in there. They had probably been alerted that someone had pulled in the driveway or whatever on his camera. I thought the camera dinged his phone and he’d likely set it up for Harlowe as well.

Ugh. Fake it until you make it was the saying and I was going to do just that until he left for work.

Brooks was the one to open the door with Kelsie in one arm.

“Hey,” he said, stepping aside so I could come in. I immediately took the baby from him.

“Hi.”

“Did we know you were coming?” he asked as he shut the door.

“You did not. Is that a problem?”

He threw an arm over my shoulder to lead me farther into the house. I quickly tossed my purse toward the couch and let him. “Not for me.”

“Well, I know it won’t be a problem for Harlowe.”

“And how do you know that?”

“I know her better than you.” Which was true but wouldn’t be for long… probably. I’d known her longer. Th ey hadn’t even been together a year… more like five months or whatever and I knew all of her secrets now. The only one she’d ever kept had been about Brooks. The only one I’d ever kept had been about Jenner, but I was here to change that.

“You think you do.”

“Trust me, I do,” I deadpanned as we rounded the corner into the kitchen, where Harlowe was making Kelsie a bottle.

“You do what?” she asked, turning the nipple ring on the bottle.

“Know you better,” I told her, reaching for the bottle because I had the baby.

She handed it over. “Is this a competition?”

“I mean… I don’t think there’s any competition.” I bit my lips together to keep from laughing because we both knew this would rile my brother up. Then I focused on the baby and slipping the nipple into her mouth. She went after it like a hungry badger. “Don’t you usually breastfeed first?”

Harlowe sighed a long breath. “Yes, but it’s still just not enough and my nipples are sore, so I’m giving up.” She threw her hands in the air then let them slap against her legs. That would’ve been a rough decision for her, given how much she’d wanted it to work. “I’m actually producing less, not more. The doctor said it happens sometimes, but she can refer me to someone who could help. I’m just… tired.”

“Well, Kelsie being fed is all that matters, really, right? You have to do what’s best for both of you.”

“Right. ”

“Back to what we were talking about.” Brooks leaned on the island with both of his arms. Harlowe was on the other side. “I can prove I know her better because I know that there’s this spot that when you hit it just right—”

Rolling my eyes, I said, “Behind her right ear? Please. I’ve know that for years.”

Brooks rubbed a hand over his face. “Well, fuck. I guess you do know her better.”

Both Harlowe and I broke out into a fit of laughter, not so loud that it would scare the baby, but if this was a competition, poor Brooks hadn’t stood a chance.

“Now that I’m not so concerned about my milk supply,” she said to change the subject, “I guess I can focus on losing this damn baby weight.”

I furrowed my brows and spoke before my brother could because he was about to. “Hey. Be nice to my friend. This baby is only three weeks old tomorrow. You look fantastic. You’ve been healing.”

“I’m mostly back to normal with all of that, actually. Once my milk dries up, I’ll be totally back to feeling how I did before.”

“Well, expectations on women are unrealistic,” I told her. “You’re supposed to bounce back from something that took almost a year to do? Fuck that. You look hot, mama. My brother would agree.”

He raised his eyebrows and dragged his gaze over her. “A hundred percent.”

She sighed again, like she was frustrated with the both of us. “So, what’s up? Why are you here?” Some could’ve taken that as mean, asking someone directly why they were somewhere, but when it came from Harlowe, I definitely didn’t. We’d asked each other that very question probably a hundred times over the course of our friendship.

“Want to talk to my best friend.” But I gave a pointed look toward Brooks so she’d know that I didn’t want to do it in front of him. This was best friend talk. Luckily, Brooks didn’t see it. He was still watching her with love in his eyes.

“It’s almost one,” she said as she made her way over to him. “Do you need to leave for the field?”

“Trying to get rid of me?” He wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Yes,” she told him truthfully. “We need some girl time and you don’t have the right parts.” Then she snorted. “You just usually leave by now for a night game.”

“Yeah, I do have to go.” He leaned in to kiss her, so I averted my eyes. It didn’t gross me out to see him kiss my best friend, but I believed in a little privacy sometimes. They should get to say goodbye however they wanted to. Then he came toward me and gently wrapped his hands on either side of the baby’s head before leaning down and kissing her forehead. He whispered, “I love you. Be good for your mom.” Afterward, he dropped a quick kiss to the side of my head, grabbed his bag, and left the room.

We were quiet until we heard the front door shut, then his engine start up.

“Want to go get comfortable for this?” she asked.

“Yes, please. ”

We settled onto the couch, but Kelsie had fallen asleep, so I gave her a quick burp before putting her in the basinet.

“All right, spill,” she demanded.

“I’m going to tell you something truly shocking. So brace yourself. Remember you have a sleeping baby right here.”

Harlowe snickered. “After all this time, I don’t think you can shock me.”

“Wanna bet?”

“All right.” She blew her breath out, like she was trying to brace for impact. “Tell me.”

“I had sex with Jenner Greene last night.”

“ What ?” she snapped as she sat forward on the couch. “I guess you were right to warn me. So… what? Details? I’m shook, honestly.”

Yeah, well, me too.

“Wait.” Her hand landed on mine. “Are you sure? Are you sure it wasn’t just a hyper realistic dream?”

“I’m sure.” I adjusted myself on her couch. “I can still feel him. So trust me. It was very real.”

“Start at the beginning.”

So I did. I told her more a bout us meeting at the center for the project. She knew about the project but I’d just told her I was doing it not anything that went along with it. The things we’d talked about. I left out exactly no details. Not even the tiniest, most insignificant. I needed to paint the picture for her. Then I explained that I’d only intended to go to his house to show him the scripts.

“Why didn’t you just send them to him? ”

“I don’t know,” I said, sounding exasperated even to my own ears. That was a question I’d asked myself. “I guess I wanted to see his real reaction. I don’t know. I know I didn’t go there to have sex with him.”

“Right. Yeah. You hate baseball players especially him…” Then she glanced at me while holding back a laugh. “Or maybe you don’t.”

“ Anyway . He kissed me and… it moved on from there.”

Harlowe’s mouth was hanging slightly open in disbelief. Trust me. I barely believed it myself.

“So this was the second time he’d kissed you?” she asked. I nodded. “You’re not leaving any kisses out?” I shook my head. “Wow. Those must’ve been really good kisses.”

I blew out a really long, slow breath. “They were.”

“So does this mean you’re together?”

“No. We didn’t talk about any of that. I left pretty quickly after. Whatever. I don’t know that I’d want to be with him, anyway.” That was actually not totally true. I think I’d proven to myself that I actually had limited willpower when it came to Jenner.

This huge weight of the truth—huge to me because I worried about being humiliated—had sat on me for five years and now my best friend not only knew about the accident but that I’d had sex with the man who’d been a part of it.

“How was it?” she asked. It was such a best friend question.

I groaned and dropped my head back even though I still had the baby. “Better than I could’ve dreamed. Like…” I lifted my head and blew out some air. “It was so stupid.”

“It wasn’t if it’s what you wanted to do,” she assured me. “But I can relate to thinking that having sex with the guy you’re not supposed to is going to fuck up your whole life.” She gave me a small smile. That’s what had happened when she slept with Brooks. She thought that if I had found out, our friendship would be over.

“Right. I don’t really regret it because come on… you know better than anyone being with the guy you’ve been in love with so long even just once is…”

“Yeah,” she agreed without me having to finish the sentence. “Trust me. I know. But do you want more? I mean you’ve allegedly hated the guy all these years.”

“I think that was a defense mechanism,” I confessed. “I never hated him but was gaslighting myself into believing I did because he’d rejected me. I couldn’t trust him so hating him was easier.”

“Because you didn’t want anyone to know what had happened, right?”

My eyes began to burn as I nodded. It was so hard having someone know a secret that I’d sworn would never get out.

“I’m so sorry, Camden. I wish you would’ve told me back then. I could’ve been there for you.”

Blinking back tears, I said, “I wish I had too. But it was Jenner who’d sent me running, which in my seventeen-year-old mind meant that it had been his fault. I’ve been blaming him for me getting hurt, but looking back on it, he didn’t make me go into the woods.”

“And he was there to help you when you fell.”

“Yeah. I still don’t know why he was out there.”

“My guess would be that he was there for you, but only he knows that. You should ask him.” She glanced at me nervously. “He wouldn’t leave the hospital at all until we were sure you’d be all right. Most of the time it was him and me. That’s not the action of a man who doesn’t care.”

She wasn’t wrong. Harlowe had told me that she’d spent a lot of time with him but I hadn’t wanted any details then. The plot to hate Jenner had already begun.

“I would’ve kept your secret, you know? You didn’t have to carry this on your own.” Harlowe briefly set her hand on my knee before pulling back.

“Speaking of secrets… I really don’t want my brothers to know about any of this. It’ll just cause problems. Them knowing that he hurt my feelings then. Them knowing that he touched my special parts… They don’t need to know any of it.”

She snickered. “Of course not. I promise. Brooks learns nothing that you or Jenner don’t tell him yourself.”

At least I still had that. It had been a hard boundary for Harlowe when she’d decided to be with my brother. She didn’t want to lose me, so the relationships were separate. And she couldn’t even tell him like she would with anyone else. Because any other friend’s business, Brooks would keep secret. Mine… he’d react as a big br other would and that was the last thing I needed in my life.

“You’re staying for the game, right?” she asked and I nodded. It wasn’t time yet, but we were getting closer.

Harlowe and I kind of vegged out on the couch until game time. Then we were cheering the guys—quietly—as they played.

It was weird seeing Jenner on the field after seeing him in his bedroom last night. Weird only because every move he made created an image in my head that I shouldn’t have been having or brought out a memory of something he’d done.

That wasn’t me. I didn’t tend to obsess over a guy in any way.

By the seventh inning, Harlowe had fallen asleep on the end of the couch, so I pulled the throw blanket off the chair where it’d been hanging and tossed it over her so she’d be more comfortable. Then I heard Kelsie stirring, so I picked her up before Harlowe heard her. She definitely needed a diaper, which I changed in her bedroom on the changing table.

Kelsie wasn’t sleeping in here yet, but this way, we were far enough away from Harlowe that if the baby fussed at all during the change, she wouldn’t hear it.

I was sitting in the chair next to Harlowe with the baby lying in my lap, my legs bouncing the slightest bit when Brooks came through the front door.

“Hey,” he said quietly, looking from Harlowe to Kelsie before he used the hand sanitizer sitting on the table and reached for the baby. “How long’s she been asleep?”

“Seventh inning.”

He snorted. “Glad it was an exciting game for her.”

I shrugged. “I mean, it kept my attention.”

He nudged his head toward the kitchen, meaning he wanted me to follow, so I did. In there, he grabbed some water and asked, “When did she eat last?”

“Um… It was around the second inning.”

“So she’ll need to eat soon.”

“Yup. Want me to pour a bottle?”

“If you don’t mind.”

As soon as I’d grabbed the premade formula and a bottle, something thumped in the living room, then footsteps hurried toward us.

“I fell asleep?” Harlowe said as she came into the kitchen.

“Yup.” I screwed the cap on the bottle and handed it to Brooks as he leaned down to kiss Harlowe.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I was tired.”

I shrugged. “Fine with me. I got to eat my brother’s snacks and hang out with a baby. No hardship over here.”

Brooks chuckled. I could’ve eaten everything in the kitchen and he wouldn’t have cared. He was just thankful that I helped so much.

“Besides,” I told her, “I get to sleep all night. So if I’m around and you need a nap, you get a nap.”

She gave me a tight hug before saying, “I have the best support system. ”

“Yes, yes, I’m the best.” I snickered as she let me go. I turned to Brooks. “I’m going to talk to Mom about a job once you guys leave on your road trip. She always has slightly less to do when you’re not in town.”

“So you like getting rid of your brothers?” he countered.

“Every chance I get.” When in reality, I loved having my brothers here. The fact that they all now lived here and were settled enough that I didn’t think they’d want to move made me happier than I’d probably ever tell any of them.

“Are you going to any of the games on the road?” Harlowe had a shit-eating grin on her face that my brother wouldn’t understand.

“Uh, not that I know of, but we’ll see.” I hadn’t gone to any since Kelsie had been born when normally, I went to some. Hell, I probably hit most road series at least for one or two games, but that was usually in the summer and it had started as me going to Knights games when they were playing against a team that one of my other brothers was on. It was a way to see the brothers that didn’t live in the same city.

But now… If I went on road trips, I worried I’d be sending a message to Jenner that I wasn’t ready to send.

“Don’t worry about it,” Brooks said. “Mom’s going to jump at the chance to have all of her kids in her organization.”

“That’s true. So what were the brothers up to after the game? ”

“Fuck if I know. I got out of there as quickly as I could to get home to my girls. I assume they’re all going home to their women.” I thought he was done, but then he added, “Though Jenner did leave with a woman today, which was weird. Haven’t seen him do that in a while. I thought he was kind of past it.”

My stomach dropped and suddenly, a wave of nausea ran over me.

Harlowe’s eyes were wide as my heart sank when it shouldn’t have. “Who was it?”

“Don’t know. They seemed friendly, but not sexual that I could tell, but I also don’t look that closely.”

I cleared my throat nervously. “Well, that’s information I now have.”

“Camden—” Harlowe started.

But I shook her off in part because my brother would ask questions if he thought I was upset about this.

That image brought back a whole lot of what I’d seen when I’d been a kid. From all of them, but at some point, I’d focused on Jenner. Each and every time I’d seen him with another woman, my heart would break a little. Kind of like it was doing now.

But we hadn’t made promises. We hadn’t declared our love for each other. I was the one who’d said it was a one-time thing, both out loud and to myself. So why shouldn’t he go off with a woman if he wanted to? There was nothing stopping him.

He could do what he wanted, so why did this feel like a punch to the gut? Brooks had said it didn’t seem like a romantic thing but admitted he doesn’t really look that closely. Which meant that I had no idea what was going on.

I told both of them goodbye and kissed Kelsie on the side of the head before hurrying my ass out of there.

It was so stupid to have let last night happen. I never should’ve allowed myself to get too close to Jenner Greene.

I’d dropped my guard and that had been a bad decision. Whether we’d proclaimed ourselves or not, I should’ve been able to predict how knowing this would make me feel.

Because when it came to how strongly I felt about Jenner, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be over him.