Page 31 of Petals of Blue, Part One (Wilted Duet #1)

Twenty-Six

ROMAN

The anxiety right now is horrendous. I feel like this is my only chance to grab hold of Blue and never let her go.

She opened the door to let me in when she asked about my baking habits. Blue knows the answer, so my interpretation is she's ready to hear me out.

So, I'll tell her our story.

"There was this girl. She was younger than me, but I was so envious of the way she swooped my brother under her wing. She was bright and so much fun. All I wanted was to be a part of her day."

I refuse to look at Blue while I get this out. It sounds so cheesy, but I feel like this is the only way she'll actually listen to me. Her silence encourages me.

"She only became more intriguing after I met her. My brother was infatuated from the beginning, and I thought she'd be cool to hang out with. But damn," I huff out a laugh. "She was so sweet and kind too."

I feel Blue's eyes move away from me. Ignoring whatever upset her, I continue because she has to know.

"Even my best friend, who didn't go to our school, was half in love with her within a month." No, I don't feel bad for telling Blue that Felix had feelings for her too. We're all flying by the seat of our fucking pants trying to ensure she forgives us.

"Rome—"

I cut her off because I'm on a roll now.

"We spent all of our time together until I was nearing the end of senior year.

College and the pressure of what my parents wanted me to do took my attention from my friends.

I was more upset with the fact that I didn't hang out with my crush anymore, but I thought I was just doing what I was supposed to. "

All of this is true. "I was a coward."

Blue sucks in a breath, hearing that my story is about to take a turn. I can't hide the pain in my voice as I recall the long string of bad decisions I made. Thankfully, she doesn't interrupt.

"My parents," I growl, "got in my head. Our heads. They loved to tell me and Declan that we were meant to go far in the world. And even if we brought you with us, your family would eventually catch up. They would ask us over and over again if a high school friend was worth risking our futures for."

I'm aware that I haven't apologized yet. Blue should know exactly what I'm apologizing for first. She's still listening, so I keep going.

"Felix's parents were friends with D's and mine, so of course they were saying the same shit to him. Sometimes I feel like it was easier for him to separate from the girl because he wasn't with her nearly as often. Though I still saw the pain in his eyes. Broke my heart."

"Jared, poor kid, had gotten so close to me, my brother, and Felix. His parents are saints and were immensely disappointed in him for cutting the girl out. He was young and did what his friends said was best."

A slight sniffle beside me tests my resolve. I take a deep breath and move on to the worst part of the story. "We decided that when she moved, it would be the best time to just completely cut ties. The most childish and cruel thing I've ever done was ghost the girl who brought life into our group."

I'm going to cry.

"Um," I clear my throat and close my eyes.

"There was a lot of fighting and arguing.

Leaving for college was the easy way out, and I took it.

Felix moved in, which sounded great, but we spiraled together.

We drank a lot, but not once did it drown our guilt.

Christ, we were so fucking sad we almost failed our classes the first year.

Had to get our shit together and work hard to get back on track. "

"Grades were so important to you," Blue gasps out like that's the worst fucking thing I've said. It makes me angry that that's what she's commenting on.

"Not as important as her. I hate myself every day for what I did. More so after what happened to Declan."

"What happened to Declan?" She sounds scared and a little accusatory. I don't blame her.

I sigh, the self-hatred gripping my throat a little tighter. "He moved in with us when he graduated high school and enjoyed our lifestyle a little too much. Drank too much at a frat party then jumped off the roof and into a pool because it sounded fun."

Blue gasps and grabs my forearm, her touch burning me with passion and worry. "Holy shit! But he's okay, obviously."

I nod. "He wasn't for a bit. A few cracked ribs and some bad bruising. Concussion too. Mom and Dad were pissed."

"I'm surprised they showed up," Blue comments bitterly.

"Honestly, I'm glad they did. That was a turning point for all four of us. Mom and Dad called me a fuck up, then compared me to you and your family. They said horrible things about you and your aunt. Didn't even sugarcoat it with normal parental concern like they had done in the past."

"What did they say?"

I shake my head because if I tell her, then she'll stop touching me. "I'd rather not say."

Her nails dig in a little, making my focus flash to her determined face. "Please, Rome."

I study her, loving how her blue hair accentuates her eyes. Fuck, I can't deny her anything. "They said I was trailer trash like you. Like your family."

Blue snorts. "I bet they did. Believe me, you are far from trailer trash."

"That's not what upset me, Petal. Jared, Felix, Declan, and I cut my parents and Felix's parents off that day. We narrowed ourselves out, Jared moved in, and we continuously debated whether or not we should reach out to the girl we hurt."

She retracts her hand and crosses her arms. "But you didn't."

"No, we didn't. What a horrible fucking idea that was too. We thought we had done enough damage and that there was no way you'd forgive us. Christ, we didn't know if you had the same number or not."

"You fucking assholes didn't even try to figure out if I had the same number. News flash, I do, and I never blocked you. I should have, but it turned out I didn't even need to because nobody cared to contact me!"

"Blue," I whisper and feel relief when she doesn't stop me.

"We cared. We cared so much it hurt. We were kids reeling from our string of bad choices.

Honestly, we didn't have much to offer. I was fucking depressed, Felix barely controlled his party ways, Declan and Jared were totally aimless for a while. "

"And what about me?!"

"That's what we want to know." Felix makes himself known. I knew they had been outside for a while now, and I'm glad they gave us the space to talk. "What happened after you moved, sweetheart?"

Blue jumps up, rage pouring off of her in waves. Headlights shine through the trees, drawing her attention and simultaneously making her deflate. Taking the four of us in, she zeros in on her backpack in Jared's hands.

He offers it to her with a nod and a sad look. "Bethany texted me, saying that's her, and you can head over to her place if you want."

Something that looks a little like jealousy flashes in her gaze when Jared mentions Bethany texting him. Hope flares that maybe there's still something between all of us. Some kind of connection we can play off of.

"Maybe next time," she says quietly, responding to Felix. Turning, she sniffs and begins her trek to the neighbors.

"Oh, and Blue!" I jump up, shouting for her. "The banana bread and the flower tattoos on my neck are a reminder of that girl we still love."

It's a bold statement, but I don't regret saying it. Not even when I hear her choke softly on a sob, because that means what I have to say affects her.

Blue doesn't look back, but she does say, "Good night."

Just that simple acknowledgment that the past ten minutes weren't a figment of my imagination makes me feel lighter than I have in eleven years.