Page 25 of Petals of Blue, Part One (Wilted Duet #1)

Twenty

FELIX

Ipride myself on my control. Normally I would say loyalty, but we all know how that went down. Christ, what a mess.

My control is all I have left it feels like. If this were one of those werewolf books that Declan likes to read, then I would be the alpha. But what does it say about the alpha when he has literally no idea what happened this morning?!

I had no idea Roman was capable of such deception. None of us did—clearly because we thought his anxiety last night and into today was normal. The dickhead was sweating for twelve hours. Declan, Jared, and I shrugged it off and just went to breakfast with him.

That's not to say I'm mad Blue showed up. Okay, maybe a little. Had I known why the hell we were there, I could have prepared myself for it. We focused on Blue and Violet the entire time—which yes please—but she needs to hear our fucking reasons to...to what?

What do we want?

I'm spinning out of control, and I'm about one wayward hair away from losing my goddamn mind. My control over myself. Apparently, I can't control Blue who wants fuck all to do with us. And Declan? What the hell was that?!

Obviously I think D's attractive in a subjective way. He's the pretty boy of our family—I have eyes. But that has never meant my dick does too. Until yesterday. His skin on mine jolted me, and when our eyes clashed, my dick sprung to life.

I fooled around plenty in college, had a dick in my mouth, whatever. But this? That connection lit my insides on fire. My groin turned into molten lava, and my lungs had to fight to keep breathing.

Declan didn't seem as shocked as I was, which left me with so many fucking questions. Questions that have gone unanswered all damn day. He's avoided me since Blue left us speechless at the breakfast table.

How screwed up would it be for me to ask Jared about this? Fuck it. "Yo, Jared!"

It takes a minute, but soon he's bounding into my bedroom. "Sup?" He retracts his greeting as soon as he sees my facial expression. "No."

"I didn't say anything." He definitely knows something.

Jared shakes his head. "I'm not getting in the middle."

"Middle of what?"

"Between you and Declan."

I got him right where I want him. "What about me and Declan?"

"Declan needs to talk to you about it."

"Why does Declan need to bring it up?" Come on, give me something here...

"After two years, I think it's time he manned up. His crush on you—" Jared's brown eyes widen. "You motherfucker! That was manipulation."

It's easy to pull information out of Jared and Declan because they're slightly loose cannons. Their energy and impulsiveness work in my favor sometimes.

I don't feel guilty about it right now, though. I'm fucking reeling. Standing up from my bed with my shoes on now, I begin to pace. "He's had a crush on me for years? What the hell, Jared?! Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

He hesitates, but when I whirl around on him, he folds. I sound like I'm lashing out in anger, but my expression shows the hurt and fear I'm suddenly drowning in.

Jared sighs and runs a hand through his short ringlets. "I've been trying for a long time to get him to open up about it. He's had a lot longer to wrestle with this than you have, Felix."

Fuck, that's fair. "Who else knows?"

"Roman doesn't seem to know if that's what you’re wondering, but..." he trails off and smirks.

"But what?" Annoyance is beginning to steal my patience. I want the information so I can track Declan down and talk about this. Because everything has changed. Our group dynamic will never be the same.

Jared huffs a laugh. "Blue knows."

"WHAT?! How the hell does Blue know before me?!" What in the actual hell is going on around here? I feel like I'm ten steps behind everyone else when I'm normally ahead.

He full on laughs and walks out of my bedroom. I have no choice but to follow him as he treks into the kitchen for what I'm assuming is his fifth snack of the day. "The fuck me eyes at breakfast were an obvious giveaway."

Roman slams the fridge door closed, scaring the shit out of us. "What fuck me eyes?"

Jared groans and crumples onto the island like a drama queen. "Declan and Felix. Into each other."

"What? No I'm not." It's a knee-jerk reaction to deny feelings for someone I've always thought of as a little brother. But my heart shrivels in response to my denial. Am I into Declan?

Roman's eyebrows are hidden beneath his shaggy black hair, and his mouth is open like he gasped while I made an ass of myself.

Shit. Shit. What is the right thing to say to my best fucking friend after our other friend drops a bomb like that?

What's the right answer? Actually, what's the fucking truth? !

"Rome—"

His usually sad, vulnerable gaze turns cold as he straightens. "I suggest..." Roman begins and walks until he's about to pass me. He stops and glares into my soul. "... that when you break my little brother’s heart, you do it respectfully. Because I'd really hate to beat your ass."

Then he's gone, leaving his threat hanging in the air. Break mine too? What, like he'd kick me to the curb and unfriend me?

"Shit..." Jared murmurs, looking nervous.

Shit is right. Because literally the only place my heart feels mostly full is with these guys. My family. I can't lose them. But I have no idea how to navigate this. And now I have to go fuck up someone else's life too.

I don't even know where the hell D is, but I need to go to work. Everything is out of my control. Except being on time. "See you later," I mutter to Jared and leave because facing this issue isn't possible right now.

I have other shit to ruin.