Page 92 of Perfect Order

“I meant since the beginning, Kane.”

Ah, hell. I glance at my watch and pray the gods of traffic are on my side because her earnest statement grabs me by the heart.

And once Leanne wraps her long legs around me, I’m grateful over time I’ve left more than one suit here as well.

MAY

Although some people wear scars with pride, others may feel the need to hide those marks. It truly is in the eye of the beholder. If you’re someone who wants to cover their scars, getting a tattoo is one way to possibly cover the area. However, the process isn’t as simple as you think. According to celebrity tattoo artist, Kitty, prepare yourself for several consultations. And do your homework. “Meet with your tattoo artist face to face several times so they can touch and feel the canvas they’ll be working with to come up with the best design. It’s your body and their art. Both of you want it to be perfect.”

— Moore You Want

“Are you ever going to share with me how you got the knife cut?” he asks me.

I pause, my water bottle paused halfway to my lips. “I can’t tell you everything.”

His lips curve wryly. “I figured that.”

“Plus, it doesn’t say much for me as…” Releasing a heavy sigh, I admit, “I still struggle to use the word ‘operative’ because that’s not who I am in my heart. I gather data, I analyze it. Just sometimes it’s under extreme circumstances.”

“Understood.”

I lean on the breakfast bar and twist the bottle between my hands. “It was about two years ago. There was some information needed I couldn’t access unless I was at the mainframe. We needed that data.”

“What was at stake?”

I don’t reply at first, too lost in the memories of the horror of the brutality being conducted to women the fuckers had sent halfway around the world. “Leanne?”

“People’s lives.” I finally answer.

“And it FUBARed.” It’s a statement.

“That’s putting it mildly. One of our analysts was on the take—we found that out from the data I yanked off the drive. But because of that, they left guards behind.”

“You could have been killed.” His voice is devoid of emotion.

“I could have. I’m grateful I wasn’t. I was trained well enough to escape.”

“And the guards?”

My eyes lift to his. He needs to know he’s not the only one who’s taken lives when necessary.

“I see.” He walks around the counter and smooths his hand up my side. “A badge of honor.”

“I hate it,” I blurt out. “Lee and I were going to get tattoos to cover it. I was so pissed she got hers before she died. It was going to replace the agony of that memory with something good.”

“And now?” His fingers press against my skin, leaving warmth in their wake. “Now, what do you feel?”

I stare into his eyes while his fingers make their way under my shirt to the scar beneath. There’s no judgment, just acceptance of me. Of who I am. “Maybe there’s no reason to hide it.”

“Get the ink if you want to, but never hide the woman you are, Crash. That’s who I love.”

When he lowers his head to kiss me, I know if his kiss had the power to heal, my skin would be smooth by the time his lips lifted from mine.

After all, look what he’s done to my heart.

JUNE

Regardless of the tragedy, moving on doesn’t mean you have lessened your grief. It simply means you’re being gifted with another chance to keep living.