Page 105 of Perfect Order

“Can’t you trace that?” Caleb asks, his own amusement depleting at the way Sam was being bested by Leanne—again.

Sam shakes his head. “Offshore account. It would take me a while. And her computer needs to be on for the final trace. Damn, I love and hate and love how frustrating this girl is.”

“I just love her,” I admit out loud to both men for the first time. Scooping up the card, I make my way for the office door. “Anyone mind if I take off for the rest of the day?”

“Not at all.” Caleb grants permission somberly.

I nod, before walking through the good tidings toward the elevator without acknowledging a single one. I need to be close to Leanne, and there’s only one place I can think of to do that—where I know she loved me.

Nodding at her doorman, I head upstairs and knock. There’s no answer. There never is. I turn my back and sit down with my back to the door. My phone pings with an incoming text. I reach for it with a sigh. “Probably Mom.”

Unknown:Happy birthday.

Unknown:No, it’s not your mother.

Unknown:God, Kane, this really would have been easier if you stayed at the office.

Afraid to hope, I type a single letter.L?

That’s when I get a screen filled with “I’m sorry,” scrolling over and over. I yell, certain my microphone is on. “Stop! I don’t care. Do you hear me? None of this is your fault. I realize you would never have done something like that to Beckett and Paige. I’ve been working with someone; I swear it. I got lost in my head and muddled what happened with you with what happened with Gene. It was never you; it was me. You asked for trust, and I’m the one who screwed up. Me. Please, if I have to type it a thousand times, let me. If I have to say it a million times, give me a chance to.”

I clutch the phone like it’s my lifeline. My fingertips have to be embedding into the surface. Then the blood rushes to my chest.It’s all my fault, Kane. Every moment of pain. There will never be a minute I will stop loving you, but it’s too late. I have to finish this.

“Finish? What the hell have you been doing? Damn you, get on this phone and call me right now!” I roar.

“Hey, buddy, keep it down.” A man who has arms that are easily twice the size of mine flings open the door across from where I’m sitting. “Don’t make me get physical.”

Despite the gray edging at his temples, I catch a glimpse of a trident on his forearm. Yeah, I’m not a fool. Even with as much adrenaline as I have coursing through me, I know better than to fuck with a former SEAL. I lift my hands in the air. “Sorry, man. Won’t happen again.”

His eyes rake over me, giving me the once-over before he slams the door in my face. I scrub my hands through my hair, and when I pull my hands away, I almost miss her face filling up my screen. Tears pour down her cheeks. She doesn’t say anything, just absorbs me. When she finally speaks, her voice is everything that’s been living in my heart. “I have to do this, Kane. It’s too late for me to stop it now.”

“Please, baby. Let me help,” I beg.

Her lips curve sadly. “You can’t. I haven’t stayed away because I don’t love you, but because I love you enough to keep you alive.”

My lips part. “You know who…”

“Shh…” She holds a finger to my lips through the video. Her eyes dart around as if someone is listening in.

“Christ, hang up if this is putting you in more danger.”

An almost ethereal expression crosses her face. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Go back to the office. They’ll be waiting for you.”

“I love you. Please, God, tell me you know that.”

“And I love you, Kane. Always. Forever.”

I start to make my way to the elevator. “Do you forgive me?”

Her eyes dart away. “There’s nothing to forgive. I tried to make amends. I hope it worked.”

“Lee,” I say firmly. Her eyes bounce back. “There’s only one thing I won’t forgive.”

“What’s that?”

“If you leave me. Everything else, we can spend our lives working out.” My voice breaks.

My knees almost buckle when her video suddenly cuts off. Her voice whispers, “I hope to God it won’t cost that.”