Page 61 of Painkiller (Sin Records #3)

M y fingers thread through my hair, gripping at the strands until pain erupts through my scalp. I’m wearing a path in the rug with my pacing. Explicatives tumble from my mouth without thought. “Five million dollars!”

Disbelief and outrage rumble in my chest. I can’t fucking calm down because I don’t have what they’re asking for. Not that I can get before morning, anyway. He has no right to tell me to calm down. If this were Casey, he wouldn’t be remotely calm. He would be setting New York on fire.

I threatened to, but he made me promise to let him work on something.

He’s been working for over an hour. I’m running out of patience.

“I-I’m sorry, Jagger,” Renee tells me for the dozenth time.

Annoyed and terrified, I spin to face her. “You’re sorry?” I’m trying, so fucking hard, to not unleash on her, but I’m struggling. “You do realize I don’t have what they’re asking for, right? That it would take me days, not hours, to ever get it.”

“It was just supposed to be the apartment.” She sniffs and rubs her hands over her eyes. “That’s all Dad wanted. It would’ve been his if Nana hadn’t changed her will.”

“She changed her will to make sure you and your sister would be taken care of because he wouldn’t. Remember? He left you guys with her? Didn’t even look back.”

“I thought he changed,” she yells at me, leaping to her feet. “He said he wanted to get to know me!”

“But not your sister? That didn’t strike you as odd?

” Her eyes flash with old resentment, pissing me off because she has no fucking right to be angry with Poppy over anything.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I warn her.

“And don’t you dare start feeding me the bullshit.

Even if what happened between you was true, which I don’t believe it was, she gave herself to them for you !

You brought them to her door. Tell me which one sounds like the traitorous sister? ”

Her shoulders slump. Fat tears well in her eyes, then slip down her cheeks. Her hands come up, covering her face as heavy sobs shake her entire body. “Brett promised it was just to scare her into giving them what they wanted. He said he wouldn’t hurt her. He promised Dad and me.”

My head tilts to the side, my heart slamming at this new piece of information. “Brett?” She presses her lips together, guilt coloring her cheeks. “The guy who threw you to the floor? You knew him on a first-name basis?”

“He said he loved me,” she whispers with another soft cry.

“Jesus Christ, this was always the problem with you. Anyone gives you a little affection and supplies your habit, and you do anything for them until they’re through with you.”

“I guess that includes you, too, right?” she snaps. “Since you threw me away, too. And my sister, Jagger!”

“First, no. That’s not what we were. We met at a party. We bonded over drugs, booze, and trauma, but we were never together. We were just friends, and you know it. ”

“Friends who fucked?”

“Exactly that. We weren’t even good friends, Renee. We were toxic. We enabled each other’s misery and habits. And what’s with the damn name? Why introduce yourself as Renee? As far as Poppy goes, you don’t get to be indignant. Not when you cut her out of your life.”

“You know why.”

“I thought I did. Then I heard her side. Knowing what I know about both of you, you were in the wrong, but you refused to take your sister’s side over a guy.”

I expect her to argue, but it’s as if the last few hours have shattered whatever pride she’s been hanging onto. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just wanted the deed. Not for her to get hurt.”

“And taking the only place she has to live wouldn’t have hurt her?”

“She has dancing. She has money. She can get another place.”

“You can’t be this stupid. I know you’re not.

What the fuck did they to do you because the girl I hung out with all these years may have been stubborn, shallow, and arrogant, but she wasn’t stupid.

” Her mouth opens, and I see the same answer coming again.

“You thought he loved you, right? The guy your dad introduced you to. Got it. I guess he kept you well supplied.”

“That’s not fair.” She wraps her arms around herself.

“Maybe not, but it’s true and you know it.”

“What about you, Jagger? You use just as much as me.”

Actually, I don’t. Part of the reason I cut her off is that I realized when I was with her, there wasn’t a minute of the day I wasn’t high. And not functional high. So high I didn’t know what planet I was on, much less anything else.

The other part was how volatile we became with each other when the supply ran out.

When we came down. The last time, the cops were called.

After we were both taken to the hospital and stitched up, I was arrested for domestic assault.

Fortunately, she went down there and told them she assaulted me first. That I was trying to protect myself.

Which was the truth, but it doesn’t change the fact that I went too far. Used far more force than I needed because she triggered something ugly inside of me. She got hurt, and I finally realized just how toxic we were.

But as she says the words, reality slams into me. I haven’t touched anything in days because of Poppy, but the second she wasn’t here, I wanted a fix. A fix I can’t have because of Noah. And the need has made me irrational and agitated.

“You need help.” My head falls back, an exhaustion rippling in the air.

“And so do I.” I lift my hands, scrubbing them over my face, doing everything to cling to sanity.

“I can’t be what I need to be for Noah unless I face my demons.

” I look at her. “And you can’t face reality until you deal with yours. ”

Graham walks back into the room, tucking his phone into his pocket with his lips pulled between his teeth. A glimmer of pride reflects in his eyes as he stares at me.

The fucker heard me.

It’s annoying.

And it makes my chest tighten with something I can’t name.

Fortunately, he won’t say anything. He jerks his head toward the door. “Come on. Henry is meeting us at the house.”

“You’ll bring her back, won’t you?” Phoebe asks, sniffling loudly. The suffocating desperation she displayed moments ago has finally begun to subside.

My own grows by the minute.

Graham snaps his fingers. “You’re coming too.” Curiosity surges through me, raising my brows and narrowing my eyes. “I trust her as far as I can throw her,” is the only explanation he gives to the unspoken question.

It doesn’t lessen my piqued interest, but it’s something to worry about later.

Half an hour later, we’re back on the East Side.

Will stands against the wall watching as Maggie feeds Noah a little oatmeal. The adults’ attention shifts to us when Noah squeals, grinning a messy smile when he sees me.

“Where’s Casey?” Graham asks Will as I walk to Noah, kissing his fuzzy head.

“Hey buddy,” I whisper. “Having fun with Maggie?”

“Of course, we’re having fun,” Maggie chimes. “We always enjoy ourselves.”

I nod, then turn to my brother and his sometimes bodyguard and best friend. “Why are we here?”

“We’re waiting on Henry. Come with me.” He jerks his head, but when Phoebe tries to follow, he puts his hand on her shoulder. “Not you.” He looks up, getting Maggie’s attention. “Maggie, can you keep Miss Lawson entertained, please?” Maggie nods once, and Graham turns.

We follow him to his office, and he walks to the far corner. He carefully moves the table that sits over his floor safe and taps in the code that I already know is Casey’s birthday.

I’m shocked the guy hasn’t had his identity and everything else stolen, since that’s his code for everything.

He opens it and removes several stacks of bills. “Graham…” I stop myself because can I really refuse what he is about to do?

The answer is as simple as breathing.

No, I can’t.

It will take me time to get my hands on that much cash. Time I don’t have.

“Don’t worry, Jagger. I’ll transfer it from your portfolio.” Of course, he will. He manages them after all.

I swipe my hand over my mouth. All these emotions racing through me are more than I can handle. More than I can force away. The only thing I can do is embrace them. Like I do when I fight or play music.

A thump on the door grabs all of our attention.

We turn and find Henry’s wide frame standing there, dressed head to toe in black.

The former Marine and security company owner looks ready for combat as he tosses a black duffle bag toward Graham, that he starts stuffing with money.

“I got what you asked for. I’m parked in the garage. ”

The bag’s zipper closing rips through the air. Graham tosses the bag to me, and we follow Henry to the garage.

Standing beside the dark SUV is a guy I’ve only seen once, with Maddox’s mafioso brother. He opens the back of the SUV as we approach. “Aren’t you supposed to be watching my sister?” Will practically growls the words.

“I do what my boss tells me. Not you or Dom. And I needed a fucking break from babysitting.”

“Then who’s watching her?” Will demands with narrowed eyes, his fists clenched at his side.

“Don’t worry about your little princess. She’s handled for the night.” He turns to me, gesturing at the bag. “You won’t need that.”

“I’d rather have it just in case,” I say, still waiting on introductions.

He shrugs, tossing it in the back, and I notice the full arsenal in the back, complete with a fucking AT4.

He looks at Henry when he steps back, then turns his attention to me.

“I’m guessing Henry called Maddox, who called his big brother.

Aka, my boss, or he just dialed Bastian directly because I was told to help however I can and to make sure the money isn’t needed.

” I lift a brow, hearing a lot of subtexts, but no context.

“I’m Christian, by the way.” He extends his hand. I take it, but I look at Henry.

“You called Maddox?”