Page 30 of Owen (Blue Team #1)

I looked up and caught Gabe staring at Nat, the muscles in his neck tight, his body held stiff. Yeah, he saw it—it wasn’t sweet at all. And it wouldn’t be until she could breathe easy.

“I love this!” Nat shouted over the whine of the engine.

We were on one of Rhode’s four-wheelers.

Nat was behind me with her arms wrapped tight around my stomach and her chin resting on my shoulder.

After I’d coaxed her to eat something I’d taken her up the mountain to a spot I’d discovered the first time I’d visited.

We weren’t at the peak but we were damn high and the sight before us was out of this world.

I shut down the ATV and patted Nat’s thigh.

“Hop off, baby.”

She reluctantly did as I asked but she did it excitedly babbling, “This is so beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

Nat’s boots crunched in the snow as she made her way to the edge of the bluff.

The valley below and the tree-covered mountains in the distance did make for a spectacular sight.

But I only had eyes for the woman with her head tipped back taking in the warm rays of the sun.

It was a perfect day; a cloudless blue sky, sun high, taking some of the bite out of the crisp air, but not enough to make a dent in the compacted snow.

All of that beautiful.

Natasha soaking it in, more so.

Amazing.

Every inch of her. Top to toe. Inside and out.

I took in her smile and couldn’t fathom how after the morning she’d had she could look so happy.

After she ate lunch she’d gone upstairs to get dressed and had come back down in another pair of fleece-lined Carhartt pants these ones tan.

The color may’ve been different from the others but they fit her the same as the first, which was to say perfectly.

Her long honey-blonde hair was in two braids—one on either side of her head.

And right then with her wool beanie pulled down, the brim covering her eyebrows, those braids hanging out the sides pulled to the front, the rubber bands brushing mid-chest, she looked hot as fuck.

Fresh-faced, eyes no longer red and puffy from crying, and rosy cheeks—she looked like a high-class mountain woman, which normally wouldn’t go together, but Nat made it work.

And she looked happy smiling up at the blue sky.

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her middle, fitted myself to her back, and held on tight.

“How ya doin’, baby?” I asked and braced.

I figured I knew how she was doing but that smile threw me for a loop.

So had her happy skip to the edge of the clearing.

When we’d left the house Nat was still quiet.

She’d readily agreed to go for an ATV ride, but there was no spark, no shine in her eyes.

Now it seemed she had some life in her after our long ride.

“I’m…good,” she whispered.

“Nat—”

She shuffled and wiggled until there was no space between us. Her hands came up, hooked onto my forearms, and her head dropped back to my shoulder.

“I’m good.”

Still not mollified, I asked, “What does good mean?”

“I just had my first four-wheeler ride.”

“Okay,” I said slowly.

“And it was awesome. I want you to teach me how to ride.”

I wasn’t sure what that had to do with her being good but I went with it.

“I can do that.”

“I know you can,” she murmured. Then just as quietly she continued, “This morning wasn’t good.”

That was an understatement. This morning and the aftermath that followed was something I’d never forget.

“But you made it better.”

Fuck me .

“You took me for a ride and brought me here. You gave me all this beauty. But before that, you gave me everything.”

Jesus. Fuck me.

Overcome with emotion, I buried my face in her neck and breathed in.

Pine, cold, and Nat’s flowery shampoo. I could live the rest of my life happy smelling that shampoo—go to sleep, wake up, with the scent of jasmine and lemon.

Go to work and tick off the minutes until I could go home and see her smile.

Hell, yeah, I could live the rest of my life happy.

“Baby—”

“You don’t understand.”

“I think I do.”

“No, Owen, you don’t.” Nat dropped her hands and twisted in my arms so she was facing me.

She tipped her head back, placed her palms on my chest, and her eyes locked onto mine.

“You gave me this.” I opened my mouth to speak but her hands pressed deeper and she shook her head.

“You made my fantasy a reality. All my life I was alone. No one ever made me feel safe until you. No one has ever cradled me in their arms, carried me to bed, held me while I cried. I’ve never been safe—period.

I’ve never gone to sleep not worried about what the next day would bring.

I’ve never woken up happy. I’ve never been excited for what the day would bring.

I’ve never loved anyone. You gave me all of that and more.

I’m okay because you made it that way. You gave me a safe place to get it out—all the ugly, disgusting, painful parts of my life, and the whole time I was doing it you never let me go.

You held me in your arms and I let her go.

She’s gone. I don’t want to be Sarah Pollaski, I want to be Natasha, I want to be yours . ”

The cool air in my lungs burned as I exhaled.

There it was—Nat was ready. She believed.

“I fell in love with you the night you burned boxed mac and cheese. You were adorably disgruntled, banging around in the kitchen, ranting about how the directions on the box weren’t right. Then something struck you funny and you smiled. Just a hint, a ghost of a grin but that was all I needed.”

“That was only a few days after I got to your house,” she told me something I very well knew.

To be precise it was the third night she’d been there.

I’d taken a shower and when I came out prepared to call and order takeout, I found her trying to cook.

It was a disaster—the macaroni was burnt beyond edible, and had to be scraped off the bottom of the pan.

She didn’t have the first clue what to do in a kitchen but she’d tried.

However, it was the ranting that had caught my attention.

In those early days, Natasha barely spoke, so hearing her raving about burnt food and wanting to do something nice for me had hit me square in the chest. But when she smiled, I felt that blow down to my bones.

That was the first time I’d ever seen her full lips tip up into a grin.

It was at that moment I saw her as a beautiful woman.

A woman I wanted to see smile every day and I wanted to be the man that put that smile on her face.

Then I promptly shoved my feelings aside and refused to acknowledge I fell in love with a woman I knew nothing about.

A woman who was painfully sad. A woman who was so goddamn strong she’d survived hell.

Jesus, I was a jackass. I’d wasted so much time.

“Yep, so now do you understand what I meant when I told you every day it was torture coming home, having you in my house, sleeping in another room, and not being able to be with you the way I wanted? Not being able to touch you, kiss you, hold you. I’d rush home after work to see you, knowing the woman I wanted more than anything was waiting for me.

But when I got there I couldn’t have you—and more, I couldn’t give you me.

I couldn’t make you happy the way I wanted. And that fuckin’ killed. ”

“But now you have me,” she muttered. She rolled to her toes and her cold lips brushed feather-light across mine.

“Now I have you,” I confirmed and pulled Nat tight against me, keeping our lips connected, thinking now that I had her, there was nothing holding me back from kissing her.

So that was what I did, not wasting another moment, not hiding, or keeping myself in check.

I kept the kiss gentle—slow glides, our tongues teasing.

Not a get-to-know-you kiss, but a welcome home.

This went on a good long while, standing on the top of the bluff, surrounded by the best Mother Nature had to offer, pristine splendor as far as the eye could see—not that I was looking but I knew it was there. And still, the woman in my arms was far more pretty.

Nat slanted her head and took our kiss from slow and sweet to scorching hot.

Not only did the kiss deepen but her hands went to my neck and she held tight.

At the same time, she pressed closer and wiggled.

My already-hard cock started to throb, and as painful as it was going to be it was time to end the festivities.

Natasha had other ideas. Not wanting the kiss to end, she held on and pressed deeper. All of that felt great, but it was the moan that vibrated from her chest, up her throat, and coated my tongue, that nearly did me in.

I wrenched my mouth from hers. Still breathing heavy I warned, “Natasha.”

“Don’t stop.”

“Baby—”

“Please don’t stop. We’re out here all alone.”

“Nat—”

“I need you,” she pleaded and I swear to God it was by sheer force of will I didn’t rip her clothes off and take her right then and there in the snow.

But that was not going to happen. Not with Nat. Not now. My hands slid down her back and cupped her ass at the same time I thrust my hips forward.

“That need goes both ways,” I told her. “But the first time you take a man, the first time you take me it will not be with your pants around your ankles bent over an ATV. You want that adventure later, I’ll gladly arrange it, but not now.

The first time will be in our bed where I can take my time, worship you. ”

“Owen—”

“And make no mistake, baby, I am your first. There is more to sex than the physical, more than two bodies coming together, more than want and desire and hunger. When you feel that need and it goes both ways, when it’s shrouded in care and concern and love, sex becomes more—two people connecting spiritually.

And while I’m all about communing out in the open, in God’s country, surrounded by all this beauty, the first time I’m taking my time so you know you are loved. ”

“Owen,” she breathed and I liked the sound of that so much I decided I wanted to hear it again while I was moving inside her.

I dropped a hard quick kiss on her lips and pulled back and asked, “Understood?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now, you wanna drive back or you wanna sit bitch and wrap your arms around me?”

Nat’s response was instant—it was blinding, it was beautiful, and it stole my breath. If I wasn’t already in love, her wide, pretty smile would’ve made me jump headfirst into the emotion.

“I want you to teach me how to drive.”

I knew that would be her answer.

“Then hop on and let me teach you.”

She didn’t move away but her hand went from my neck to my face and her thumb glided over my jaw .

“You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, Owen.”

Before I could return the sentiment, she was out of my arms, skipping to the ATV.

Nat was good.

How she could recover as fast as she had, I’d never understand.

I also wasn’t giving the thought any more headspace.

She was good, and by tonight, she’d be better—and every day from then on I’d work to keep her happy and whole.

If I had known then what I know now, I would’ve understood there would be no such thing as whole , not for Natasha and not for me.