Page 22 of Owen (Blue Team #1)

It had been two days since my first s’mores experience.

Two days of everything being the same but completely different.

The vibe in the house had totally shifted, Owen seemed at ease therefore the rest of the guys followed.

They cut up more, made jokes, poked fun at one another.

We ate meals together, sat around the fire together, and the guys had even loosened up and told a few stories.

I now knew when Owen was in the Navy he’d been EOD—I’d learned that was explosive ordnance disposal.

That was bomb disposal, I’d learned that, too.

Further, I’d figured out that was the opportunity Owen had been waiting for that his ex-wife had bitched about.

I could see how a woman would be leery of the man she loved defusing bombs for a living, but I didn’t think that was her issue.

I hadn’t broached the topic of Naomi even though I had a thousand questions about her. I was too scared to ask.

I also found out that Kevin and Gabe both served in the Navy.

Myles was the odd man out and had served in the Army.

When this conversation had come about there was some weird rivalry that led to Kevin saying, “Go Navy, Beat Army.” That outburst earned Kevin Myles’s middle finger and muttered curses.

Owen had smiled and told me he’d explain later though he hadn’t done that yet.

I’d eaten sugary cereal that I decided I didn’t like.

Cocoa Puffs was okay, only if eaten by the handful without milk.

Fruity Pebbles were disgusting. Gabe was an excellent cook, and the only thing Kevin could do was use the grill; otherwise, he sucked in the kitchen and burnt grilled cheese, which sucked because I’d found I loved them and could eat one a day.

That was if they weren’t burnt. I’d yet to find Myles in the kitchen.

Come to think of it, Myles spent a lot of time holed up in his room alone.

Or he was pacing the backyard on his phone.

He wasn’t mean about it but he was the most closed-off.

Owen on the other hand was no longer guarded.

He hadn’t shared his deepest, darkest secrets but he was noticeably more relaxed.

He hadn’t asked any more about my past. He hadn’t brought up our morning of orgasms and he hadn’t touched me, kissed me, or even given me a longing look that would suggest he wanted a repeat performance.

Which was a shame because I absolutely did.

So now, on the third morning in a row I’d woken up in bed next to him, I was fidgety.

I knew what his hands and mouth felt like.

I knew he was giving me this time. S’mores, cereal, walks around the property, more wood chopping—which by the way I was getting the hang of and totally loved.

Easy, calm nights around the fire pit. But I was still disappointed. Selfishly I wanted more.

“Babe.”

Owen’s sleep-rough voice curled around me and I smiled.

“Sorry.”

I didn’t bother playing dumb. We were well beyond coy. He knew, I knew why he made his low warning.

It was early, the sun was barely peeking through the windows but I was wide awake.

I rolled to my side then sat up. But before I could throw my legs over the side of the bed, Owen hooked me around the middle and hauled me across the mattress to the middle of the bed.

He rolled me to my side, maneuvered his body behind mine, jerked me closer still, then he pressed his chest against my back, and settled his arm around me.

Through all of this, I stop breathing.

“Sleep, baby.”

Baby?

I felt my muscles get tight and my heart started pounding so hard it was a wonder my body wasn’t rocking with the beat.

A few moments later, I was still thinking about Owen’s muttered ‘baby’ when he spoke again, “What’s on your mind?”

A million and one things.

“Nothing,” I lied.

“Babe, you’re strung tight and you’re holding your breath.”

I exhaled and tried to relax. I knew it wasn’t going to work, not with Owen close.

Not with his arm around me and his thumb gently stroking my forearm.

Not with his crotch pressed against my ass.

Now I was awake for a different reason, one that had nothing to do with all the thoughts racing through my mind.

“Nat,” he prompted.

“What does go Navy, beat Army mean?” I blurted out, then tucked my chin and closed my eyes in an effort to block out how stupid I sounded.

“That’s what you’re thinking about?”

“One of the things, yes.”

“Football rivalry,” he started.

“The military plays football? I mean, like on teams?”

“No, baby, the service academies do. The rivalry is between West Point and the Naval Academy. It’s said, though I’ve never been to West Point, that there are Beat Navy signs up all over post and the cadets yell “Beat Navy” after their meals.

They take this shit seriously. And during the season, Kevin and Myles take it to an extreme. ”

“Do you guys go to games?”

“I’ve been to one, years ago. Great game, until Army won and took home the Commander-in-Chief trophy.

I thought Kevin was going to have a heart attack and I swear I saw actual tears in his eyes.

I lost five hundred dollars on that game.

I wasn’t happy, but Kevin’s a third-generation Naval Academy graduate—I swear he bleeds blue and gold.

After that miserable experience driving home from Philly to Annapolis, I swore I’d never go to another game with them. ”

I couldn’t imagine big, buff Kevin crying over anything. But I could totally see him complaining about his team losing and doing that in such a way it would make Owen miserable.

“Do they still go?”

“We haven’t been stateside for football season in the last five years. The Army-Navy game is sometime in December so if we’re…” Owen paused then he abandoned his thought. “I’m sure they’ll get tickets for this year.”

“What were you going to say?”

There was a stretch of silence and I didn’t think he was going to answer me.

The old Owen, the one I’d lived with in Annapolis, was reserved.

He had an uncanny way of being open and closed off at the same time.

He’d tell me things but it always felt like he was holding back big chunks of information.

Something that never bothered me before because I was doing the same.

And as much as I’d been curious and wanted to know more about him, I never asked.

Mainly because I was afraid if I did, he’d ask me questions and the delicate line we were skirting would be ruined.

I hadn’t wanted to out-and-out lie to him, I’d just wanted to hide who I was and what my family did.

“I was going to say if we’re still stateside, they’ll probably go. ”

If?

Owen was leaving?

Why hadn’t I thought of that?

Because I’m a selfish twit .

“Breathe, baby,” he whispered and tangled our legs together.

I didn’t breathe.

I didn’t move.

“How soon would you leave?” The question was out of my mouth before I could think better of it.

I didn’t want to know but I had to know.

I had to know how much time I had left with him.

“Not sure. Zane’s been restructuring. Our team specializing in maritime security, the last two contracts that came up, Zane passed up.”

My curiosity got the better of me and I couldn’t hold back my rapid-fire questions. “Maritime security? Like Captain Phillips? Why did Zane pass up contracts? What’s restructuring mean?”

Owen gave me a squeeze and I quieted even though there was more I wanted to ask.

“Yes, like Captain Phillips, but you can only believe ten percent of the headlines and even less about the movie. All that shit is sensationalized. Zane passed on the contracts because they were too dangerous. There’s risk, then there’s stupid.

We don’t do stupid. We take calculated risks.

And that’s part of what Zane’s restructuring.

He also wants to avoid burnout by rotating teams. Blue has been out to sea more than we’ve been home.

That takes a toll. He wants to avoid that so he’ll send out a new team to take our place and move us into something different. ”

“What’s Blue?”

“My team. We’re Blue. Thad, Brooks, Kyle, Max, and Dec are Gold. Leo, Jasmin, Linc, Colin, Jaxon, and Zane are Red.”

I desperately wanted to know what ‘something different’ meant but I didn’t ask.

I changed my mind—I didn’t want to know when he was going to leave.

Just the mere thought of it hurt. But it was a good reminder our time was limited.

There was an expiration date and I needed to soak in as much as I could. There was no time to waste.

It was on that thought, I squirmed closer to Owen. If this was all he was willing to give I was taking it and I was memorizing how warm I felt with him behind me. How safe I felt tucked close.

“Sleep, baby,” he repeated and kissed the top of my head.

I committed that to memory, too.

It took a while but cocooned in Owen’s embrace, I fell back asleep.

My eyes came open and sleep slowly receded but when it did, I realized I was alone in bed. The room was bright and I was cold. So freaking cold I shivered. I tried to push my forlorn thoughts away but they kept flooding my mind. I had to tell Owen the truth. It was time. Well-past time.

There was a lot he needed to know. Things that would fill in the blanks and make his job easier. I should’ve told him months ago.

Before I could lose my courage I got out of bed, not bothering to shower because that would give me too much time to second-guess what I was about to do.

I didn’t even take the time to brush my teeth or put on clothes.

I was going to do this in my pjs. I was too weak to do it any other way.

Too cowardly. If I didn’t do it right this minute I’d chicken out.