Page 29 of Owen (Blue Team #1)

Only after hours and hours later, after Natasha had finally worn herself out, did I get up and leave her in bed.

So many fucking tears—buckets of them had leaked from her eyes until my tee was soaked through.

I didn’t know a woman could shed so many tears.

And I could’ve gone my whole goddamn life not knowing and been happy.

I paused at the bedroom door and looked back at a sleeping Natasha.

She was curled on her side hugging a pillow, one I would replace when I slid back in bed with her and wrapped her back around me.

But for now, the pillow would have to do.

I had to go downstairs and talk to the guys. Plans needed to be made.

By the time I hit the bottom step I hadn’t checked my anger—not that I tried. At this point, it was an impossibility. Through the tears, Nat had talked. Every word she spoke broke me.

“How is she?” Gabe asked from the couch.

I stared at my teammate, a man who had been a friend for a long time, a good man, one I trusted with my life.

And as I locked eyes with him I didn’t bother to hide how goddamn ridiculous his question was, therefore, he didn’t miss precisely how ludicrous I thought it was.

So when he muttered, “Right,” it was not surprising.

“What did Tex say?” I asked on my way to the kitchen.

“Not much,” Gabe told me. “You know him, he takes it all in, does his magic, and comes back with what we need. Now Cruz, he had a lot to say.”

I grabbed a protein bar and jerked my chin, silently demanding Gabe to continue.

“Steel Conor was a mean motherfucker. Cruz met him when he was undercover with the Red Brothers MC. Wilco did the world a favor taking Steel out but Cruz still wants to nail Wilco for his murder. Tex is doing his thing with that but it’s unlikely a body will turn up.

And get this shit—Axel was running his game from an FBI safe house.

I don’t know how that was pulled off but somehow they managed it.

Steel negotiated a lighter sentence but Cruz had piled so much shit on Axel no one would give him time off his sentence.

But Axel bargained for a move. Too many enemies in Texas. ”

“Why’d they keep Axel locked up?”

“Too many ties to Mexico.”

I nodded and chewed the rest of my bar.

“Tex is calling in a favor. He wants more coverage in Maryland.”

It was good Gabe had brought that up. That was what I wanted to talk to him about.

“When are we going back?”

“We’re not. Tex made his calls and Wolf, Abe, Cookie, Mozart, Benny, and Dude all agreed to help. They’re flying to Maryland.”

I didn’t like this plan, and not because I didn’t believe the men Tex had called in weren’t good at what they did.

They were. I’d known Faulkner ‘Dude’ Cooper a long time.

He was an explosives expert and had taught me a lot over the years.

The rest of the guys were solid, smart, and no doubt could handle the situation.

The issue was, I wanted to be the one who handled this particular problem.

“Owen,” Gabe started then wisely snapped his mouth closed.

“I need you to take care of Nat.”

“No, brother.”

What the fuck?

“No?”

“No. You’re staying here and you’re taking care of your woman.”

I clenched my jaw, and through gritted teeth, I told him, “I will be taking care of my woman.”

“Not the way she needs.”

Now he was pissing me off.

“Fuck—”

“Tell me, how’s Nat?”

I snapped my mouth closed and my body went solid.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” my friend who was about to get punched in the throat snickered. “You okay with me being the one holding your woman when she’s crying her man left her?”

“I’m not leaving her. Not like that and you know it, asshole. This has to end for her.”

“And it will.”

“Not the way I want it to.”

“Are you listening to yourself? Not the way you want it to? Selfish much? We’re all up here taking her back and you know why we’re doing it without complaint?

Because we knew what she meant to you long before you had the balls to admit it.

So here we are, Owen, up in the mountains freezing our asses off taking her back—which means we’re taking your back.

Zane’s busting his ass to get her out of that fucked-up mess. And shit’s not going the way you want?”

Jesus, when Gabe put it like that I had to admit, I was being a dick.

Everyone was chipping in, doing more than their fair share.

Which was to say, doing anything at all.

Natasha’s issues weren’t theirs. Wilco Pollaski wasn’t a paying job.

And now Zane was forced to call in markers and pay out of pocket to make a point—that no one threatened his woman, his men, his business, or any of the women under his care.

And the point would be made—loud and clear. Just not how I wanted to drive it home.

But as selfish as it was Gabe didn’t understand.

“You don’t get it,” I told him.

“Get what?”

“How it feels to hold the woman you’ve fallen in love with while she relives the nightmare she endured.

A nightmare that is so dark, so traumatic, she shook so violently her teeth clattered.

I hope to God she got all that shit out because I am not lying when I tell you that if there’s more I do not want to know.

You’ve been at my side a long time, Gabe, so you know, you lived it with me.

We’ve seen some gnarly shit, we know what lurks in the dredges of society.

But still, Nat knows better than us. She lived it.

Lived. It . You heard it, she was pimped out, but you didn’t hear what that did to her.

You got the cold, emotionless story. You didn’t hold her while those memories flooded. He sold her virginity.”

I watched Gabe flinch and it sucked, me telling him that, but he needed to understand.

“Yeah, brother, Wilco Pollaski sold her virginity. Now, I’m not a woman and I don’t think I have to be to know straight to my soul that shit is beyond fucked.

Something that was precious for her to give was bought.

So, as selfish as it is, and I admit, I’m being a selfish bastard, I need this to end for her.

And the way it needs to end is permanently.

Not with the looming threat of that motherfucker going to trial and getting off.

Or with him rotting in prison but still calling shots, meaning that threat is still there. ”

“I get that,” Gabe conceded. “But, Owen, you’re not gonna be the one to end it.

Your priorities have to shift. You have to trust your team to handle this.

If you don’t and you leave her here, you’ll lose her.

She won’t understand. I heard everything you said, but I don’t think you heard yourself.

Nat gave that to you—not to me, not to Kevin, not to Myles.

You. You’re her lifeline, you’re the one she trusts. Don’t break that trust, brother.”

Goddamn, Gabe was right.

I didn’t want him to be right. I wanted…

what the hell did I want? I wanted Pollaski dead.

I wanted Natasha safe. I wanted her in my life and in my bed when we went home.

I wanted to live my dream. The life I thought I’d have before things went bad with Naomi.

I wanted to be happy and the only way I got any of that was if I trusted my team.

They’d handle Pollaski and I’d handle the rest.

“You’re right,” I begrudgingly admitted.

“Of course I am.”

Smug bastard.

“Don’t be stupid,” I returned and Gabe smiled.

“Right. Just to finish this up. Zane sent the plane to pick up Wolf and his team. Benny needed a few extra hours to help Jessika at the bar and Abe had something going on with his kids but they’ll be in Maryland by tonight.”

Guilt infested my insides. Those men all had wives and responsibilities, yet they were dropping everything to help a woman they’d never met.

Fucking , hell. My head dropped forward as the knowledge rushed through me.

“You know they’d do anything for Tex,” Gabe said.

He was talking about Wolf, Abe, Mozart, Cookie, Dude, and Benny. And Gabe was right about that, too. Tex and the other six retired SEALs were brothers—closer than blood. But other than knowing Dude on a professional level none of them knew me and they certainly didn’t know Nat.

“And Mozart and Cruz have a connection,” Gabe went on.

“The way Cruz tells it, part of the reason he went into law enforcement was because of Mozart’s sister, Avery.

She was murdered and that tragedy struck Cruz deep.

He’s never forgotten Avery Reed, and because of that, Mozart and Cruz have a bond.

Mozart’s all in. Cruz for his own reasons, one of which is the drugs Pollaski puts on the streets means Cruz is all in.

As in, all in , brother. Cruz is getting a team together and cashing markers.

So what I’m saying is, they’re all happy to do it.

For you, for Natasha, and with that comes the added benefit of taking a drug-dealing pimp off the streets. ”

“Right,” I mumbled, still staring at the floor.

“I get it’s a hard pill to swallow but I know you’re gonna do it.”

It was damn hard but I was going to choke it down and take what was being offered. But fuck if it didn’t taste bitter.

I heard footsteps and my head shot up to find Nat coming down the stairs.

That bitterness started to evaporate, and when she walked directly to me and plastered herself to my side, I hitched my arm up to make room for her and suddenly I tasted nothing but sweet. The guilt settled and so did my soul.

“I woke up and you were gone,” she whispered.

I tightened my arm around her and kissed the top of her head before I said, “I was coming right back up.”

She nodded against my chest and shoved her face deeper.

Christ .

That felt sweeter.

It also felt a lot like she was trying to melt into me and disappear.