Page 28 of Owen (Blue Team #1)

“Steel wasn’t an FBI agent. He was a confidential informant.

Steel Conor belonged to a motorcycle club here in San Antonio,” Cruz told me.

“I spent months undercover with them. They were scum, all of them, through and through, worst of the worst. Facing some serious charges Steel flipped and offered up Wilco Pollaski for a lighter sentence. FBI and DEA jumped at the chance to take down the untouchable. From the report I read, Steel was getting close. Axel is a different story, one I’m not at liberty to discuss, but between those two they were working to bring down the empire.

When Steel didn’t check in and went MIA, my colleagues thought he’d run and have been searching a good long while to bring him in. ”

Worst of the worst.

For some reason that made me feel better. It shouldn’t have, a life was still taken but I couldn’t deny I felt a smidgen of relief that a good man hadn’t died in front of me. A death I hadn’t reported.

“You didn’t have him chipped?” Myles asked in disbelief.

“We did. Last place it was active was a strip club. The theory was Steel cut it out and took off. Once he got the goods on Pollaski, Steel was facing a lengthy sentence, figured he had time to rethink his deal. Like I said, Steel was close, we had a time frame and location of the next shipment of drugs. All we were waiting on was the exact date. Steel went missing two weeks before that was supposed to happen.”

Two weeks? I thought back to the time after Steel died and tried to remember what business my uncle had been conducting.

“There was no shipment,” I told Cruz. “Not two weeks later, more like two days. And it wasn’t drugs. Wilco rotates his stable. Girls from New York were coming in and the girls from Chicago were going to New York. Franco would’ve overseen the exchange.”

“Franco Dalto?”

“Yes,” I answered Tex. “Franco is my uncle’s right-hand man.”

“Set up, or was Steel a dumbass and got it wrong?” Gabe joined the conversation and I looked up at him.

“Set up,” I answered.

“My uncle tests loyalty and does it often. He gives misinformation and watches. If he told Steel a shipment of drugs was coming in and gave a location, I guarantee he was watching. If he saw something unusual happening he’d know he had a leak.”

“Shit,” Cruz cursed. “Our people moved in on the location to set up surveillance.”

“Then Wilco knew Steel was a leak,” I told him. “Two reasons for my uncle to get his hands dirty. One is to teach a lesson to a soldier and he delivers those lessons personally. And the second, he disposes of rats. He calls himself the exterminator.”

“Do you have anything else for us?”

I thought about Tex’s question, and being as this was the last time I wanted to talk about my uncle I thought on it hard.

Owen admitted they’d dug into Wilco’s business, they likely knew more than I did.

But they didn’t know him. Whatever they’d read about his crimes didn’t do the man justice.

They couldn’t know how deep his depravity ran. No sane person could imagine.

“Do not trust anyone in Chicago,” I started.

“You might think you know who he has on his payroll but you don’t.

There are people he hasn’t activated yet.

He waits until he needs them, then approaches them with what he has on them.

And everyone has secrets they don’t want told.

Everyone. Something as simple as a married man getting a lap dance to a man of the cloth getting a blow job.

I am not joking. Every person has dirt in their closet and Wilco has a way of finding it.

“Franco will die for my uncle. He will kill for him. Wilco knows where Franco’s family is and being as Franco wants his sisters and mother safe he will do anything for Wilco, and I mean anything. Do not underestimate Franco.”

I paused, needing to gather my thoughts.

This was harder, and as much as I tried to push Natasha aside and keep my cold detachment in place I couldn’t.

No matter how hard I’d tried over the months to keep my emotions at bay and not get attached to the people who had shown me kindness, I couldn’t do it.

Eva had taken me under her wing and had done everything she could to connect with me.

She’d gone as far as enlisting her friends—Tatiana, Emerson, and Anaya.

All four women had been generous with their time.

They’d come to the house to keep me company.

They’d brought me books and magazines. Eva had bought me cosmetics and nail polish.

Anaya being the closest to my size had brought me a ton of clothes after she’d gone through her closet.

So many people had reached out to me and offered their friendship. And they didn’t stop doing it even after I’d repeatedly rebuffed their efforts.

I could not live with more guilt. If something happened to one of them because of me I couldn’t live, period. I would rather die than have one of them harmed. And that wasn’t me having a death wish like Owen had accused. That wasn’t me thinking my life was worthless. It was the plain truth.

Before Owen and Eva, I had never known kindness.

Not ever. But loyalty had been ingrained into my soul from the moment my father could teach me.

Unfortunately, I’d been forced to show my loyalty to the wrong people.

Owen and his friends were not the wrong people, they were good and kind and clean and they deserved my undying gratitude.

I owed it to all of them.

Even if Owen didn’t like it, I would give it to them.

“One last thing.” I stopped and cleared the lump in my throat and fought the sick feeling in my belly. “Wilco will carry out everything he threatened.”

“Nat—”

“Everything. Do not ignore his threats. Don’t think he will not take out every woman on that list. He will not hesitate and he won’t do it fast. Women are nothing to him, meaningless pussy.

He is so disgusting there are no words to express how bad he is.

Pure evil down to his soul. And he is uncontrollable.

He values nothing but his throne. He cares for no one.

He has no weakness because he doesn’t have a single emotional tie to anyone or anything.

Take his stable, he will not care other than the money he’s losing while he rebuilds.

Cut off a supply chain, he’ll find a new one.

I disobeyed a direct order. There will be hell to pay.

Please understand that, someone will pay the price for my disobedience. And that person should be me.”

“Are you shitting me?” Owen roared and I jumped. “No one is paying for jack shit, Natasha.”

He was wrong. Way wrong. Someone would. I knew it as fact.

“What I’m saying is, I cannot live with someone getting hurt because of me. I can barely breathe as it is knowing what I did, what my father did, what Wilco does.”

I stopped so I could shift in my seat and face Owen.

And once I did I realized my mistake. I never should’ve looked at him.

The sheer magnitude of his emotions was on display.

Nothing hidden. And before I could recover from that hit his next words plowed into me and stole the oxygen straight from my lungs.

“Baby, hear this and hear it good. There is no way those women will be touched. None. You think Wilco Pollaski is the devil, but I can assure you he is no match for Zane and the army he has at his back. What Barny and Wilco have done, will do, could do, might do, none of that is on you. What those motherfuckers forced you to do isn’t on you.

I know you don’t believe me right now, but you will.

There will come a time when you’re clear of this and you’ve had time to heal when you’ll reflect.

And when you do, you’ll understand what I’m telling you is the truth.

You don’t blame the victim for the actions they took to survive.

And you might not like that but there’s no way around it.

You were a victim in their fucked-up, whacked— ”

“But I—” I tried to interrupt Owen but he interrupted me right back.

“Straight-up, Nat,” Owen snapped. His voice was colder than I’d ever heard it. “You enjoy taking cock for money?”

“What?” I breathed then tried to suck in air but I couldn’t.

Owen’s question burned through me, leaving pain in its wake.

“Wilco pimped you out. Did you enjoy taking cock for money?”

“Absolutely not!”

“Right. So you did what you had to do to survive. Lived through that nightmare, then after you had to endure that, you took a fucking beating so you wouldn’t have to do it again. So tell me, are you responsible for that?”

“No.”

“Right. What’d you do with the drugs when your packages were light? Did you sell it on the side? Inject it? Give it away?”

“No, of course not. I flushed it.”

“Yeah, you flushed it and took a goddamned beating .”

Okay, I was beginning to understand what he was saying, but I still held guilt. I should’ve found a way out.

“I see you’re getting it,” Owen continued.

“So let me help you out some more. There was no one for you to go to. No one you could’ve gone to for help.

They made sure of it. They kept you where they wanted you.

They pay. Not you. Not Ivy, Eva, Emmy, Anaya, Vi, or anyone else.

Wilco’s time is up. He fucked up, Nat. He made threats he cannot follow through on.

He touches any one of those women hellfire will rain down on him.

He attempts to get his filthy hands on you and I will personally rip his throat out. No joke. I will kill him.”

Something strange happened and it happened so quickly I didn’t understand what it was and I didn’t get a chance to process it before I was up off the couch and cradled in Owen’s arms. He was carrying me across the room when he said, “No more questions. Nat’s out.

This shit ends for her now.” And that was when I realized I was sobbing. Big, wracking body-shaking sobs.

I shoved my face in Owen’s neck. And stopped fighting the memories. Horrid, appalling, revolting, unspeakable moments filtered through my head. My whole life was one hideous waste. Once they started I couldn’t stop them until my world exploded and pain engulfed my entire being.

“I hate him,” I croaked.

“I know you do, baby.”

“I want her to die.”

“Who, baby?”

“Sarah. I want her to die. I don’t want to be her. I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to—”

“She’s gone, Natasha.”

“Not yet.”

“Then let’s get the rest of her out.”

That was what Owen told me. His voice sounded sure. He made it seem so simple that I believed him. I believed that together we could let Sarah go. And it worked.

Then it didn’t. And when the time came, I learned a new lesson.

I didn’t have the first clue what real pain felt like.

I never should’ve believed.