Page 31

CHAPTER 30

T RINA

“Ten years. They lost ten years of being together,” I mutter to myself as I drive from Fitz’s back to Ben’s. “For what?”

My heart hurts for my best friend and my sister at the years they lost. My only solace is that it’s obvious how they feel about each other. I have to believe they’ll overcome what they’re facing now and find their way back to each other.

I drive in silence except for the loud noise of my own thoughts. Desperately trying to ignore the knot growing in my belly and the dull ache settling in my chest, I try to clear my mind, but I can’t. I swallow past the lump in my throat and by the time I pull into Ben’s garage, press the remote to shut the garage door, and turn off my car, my vision blurs with moisture.

Ten years.

Ben and I also lost ten years. As much as I blamed him all these years, I had a part in our downfall, too.

Tears flow down my cheeks relentlessly, a foreign sensation to me, and I can’t seem to get a full breath. This isn’t me. I don’t cry and I certainly don’t sob. Or at least I didn’t until now.

I lean back in my seat and rub at my chest while I try to catch my breath, but it doesn’t work. I don’t think I can move to get out of the car.

At some point—how long, I don’t know—the car door opens and Ben’s voice breaks through my panic.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” His voice is frantic.

I sniffle, the tears still coming. “I-I’m o-okay,” my voice cracks as I struggle to get the words out.

“Clearly, you’re not okay. Let me get you inside. Wrap your arms around my neck.”

I listen without question because I don’t have it in me to resist. The next thing I know, Ben is scooping me out of the car, taking care not to bump my head on the door frame. Deep in my brain, it registers that I’m shocked it’s so effortless for him to carry my body weight, but I don’t dwell on it, instead clinging to him as he walks us inside.

He places me on the couch so gently and crouches on the floor in front of me, cupping my head in his hands. His worried eyes search my face for clues to the cause of my distress.

“Please tell me what’s wrong. I can’t stand to see?—”

“F-Fitz and Em-Em-Emily,” I choke out. “Wasted t-ten years. And, and… s-so did I.”

His eyebrows furrow together and it’s clear he’s still confused.

“How about we give you a minute to get your breathing back to normal and then try again?”

I nod and he grabs me some tissues from the end table, then sits next to me and rubs my back in soothing circles while I get my bearings. I blow my nose and grimace at how gross I must look.

When I feel like I can talk again, I sniffle and turn toward him.

“So, Emily and Fitz wasted ten years…” Ben says, encouraging me to talk.

I nod and turn my head to face him. “They cared about each other all that time. And fear and lack of communication kept them apart. Ten years they could have been doing life together.” I brush away more tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.

“Okay…” He runs the hand he’s not touching me with through his thick black waves and I know he’s not connecting the dots.

I blow my nose again. I’m not sure why he’s still sitting with me when I’m such a hot mess.I clear my throat and inhale deeply, then let it out slowly.

“And it got me thinking that… that we lost almost ten years, too. Now that’s all I can think about. I was so hurt back then. I was afraid to really trust you and then when everything blew up, it broke me, and I was so angry. It was easier,”—I take another deep breath—“it was easier to tell myself I hated you than to work through things.”

He winces at my words. “I deserved it. I was young and stupid and as much as I wanted to be with you, I wasn’t mature enough. I should have been patient—asked you to tell me more about your reasons—when you didn’t want to tell anyone about us. Instead, I acted like an asshole and made you feel betrayed.”

“You did,” I agree.

He laughs, but it’s sad.

“But it wasn’t all your fault. I’m to blame, too. I’ve tried to move on. I’ve dated and tried to find someone I could care about the way I cared about you, but I can’t. Because I’ve never really hated you. No matter what I told myself.”

His eyes brighten slightly and it’s clear my words have given him a little bit of hope.

“What are you saying?” His voice is barely above a whisper.

“I’m saying that I don’t hate you. Not even a little. That even though we accidentally got married and our sixty days are up, I don’t want this to be over. I’m still scared to rely on someone else, to let myself be vulnerable, but over the last few months you’ve let me do that in little baby steps without ever making me feel weak or less.”

“Because you’re not weak, babe. You’re the strongest woman I know. And relying on each other doesn’t make us weaker, it strengthens us, both as a couple and individual people. So, we can give this more time? See if you’re okay staying accidentally married to me?”

I shake my head and the hope and happiness that was just flitting across his features drops off.

“Oh.” He drops his hold on my gaze. “I guess I misunder?—”

“I’m saying that I love you and I want to get married to you on purpose. I don’t need more time. Because I already know.”

His eyes fly up to meet mine and a tentative smile lifts the corners of his mouth, his eyes misting. “Yeah? You’re serious?” His voice is gravelly.

I pull my lower lip between my teeth and nod. “I’m serious. It’s what I want. Only you and me.”

“God, I love you.” He leans forward and kisses the side of my mouth, then plants tender kisses all over my face. “I never thought I’d get this chance again, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to make you happy, to make all your dreams come true.”

* * *

BEN

After a few minutes of kissing, we’ve shed our clothes and they’re tossed haphazardly across the room—on the coffee table, the arm of the chair and Trina’s panties are hanging from a lampshade. My cock aches as it’s hard as a rock and I’m dying to be inside of this woman—my wife.

Trina climbs onto my lap, straddling me with her knees bent. “I need you inside of me. Now.”

As she slides her slick, soaking wet pussy over my dick, I slip inside her and feel my eyes roll back in my head.

“You feel so fucking good, babe. It’s perfection when we’re joined like this.”

Trina moans in response to my words and I lean forward, bringing my mouth to hers, kissing her again. She pulls back and smiles. “Let me look at you.”

I growl with satisfaction as I focus my eyes on this beautiful woman, the woman my soul recognized as its other half, even when I was just a teenager.

I slide my hands up the porcelain skin of her sides, moving to the underside of her full breasts, cupping them as I alternate between flicking her nipples with my thumbs and running smooth, teasing circles over them. I love how she’s fucking me, taking what she needs from my body. What I want to give her. Christ, does it feel amazing.

“God, you’re so beautiful, babe. Are you ready to come for me?”

She pants out her “yes” and I reach down to rub her swollen clit, exactly how I know she likes to be touched. Her rapid breathing tells me I’ve found the pace and pressure that she needs to get her there. As she slides her hot, soaking wet pussy up and down on top of me, I work her nipples and her clit in tandem. Fuck, I’ve seen nothing hotter than her chasing her ecstasy as she rides my cock.

“Please. I need to come,” she begs.

I put more pressure on her clit, and I watch closely as she rises, nearly coming off my cock, and then, just as she drops back down onto me, I pinch her nipple. Hard, but not enough to hurt. It’s the exact amount of tightness that I know she loves. That I know will get her there.

And I’m right, because Trina throws her head back and screams with her release. Her body stiffens as her pussy clamps down around my aching cock. But I don’t let myself come yet. I hold her in place—sitting on my cock because I want to wring one more out of her. I want to get her so relaxed that any stress she felt about today is gone.

I would literally die for this woman and the thought of her experiencing any pain, physical or emotional, nearly makes me unable to breathe. My job is to love her, to cherish her, and this is part of how I do that.

As she comes down from her climax, she leans forward and kisses me. Our mouths open and our tongues merge in a sensual dance. She’s so damn sexy I wonder if I should pinch myself to be sure this is real.

When she’s recovered enough, she moves her gorgeous body over me again. But this time, when we break away from the kiss, she leans back a little so that we can look at each other again.

Our eyes fix on each other, speaking volumes about what we’re both feeling in our hearts. It feels amazing as she moves her warm, wet pussy tantalizingly slow over the throbbing flesh of my cock.

I whisper, “I love you so damn much,” as I reach up and tuck her hair behind her right ear.

“I love you. This is all I need. Only you and me.”Her words are a balm to my soul.

That’s all my brain and my heart need to hear to send me over the edge. She follows right behind me and the spasming of her pussy, combined with the twitching of my cock, feels unbelievably amazing—like nothing I’ve ever felt before. At this moment, as my wife and I come simultaneously, I think of the younger me who was too proud, too arrogant. The me who lost Trina. And I thank God I wasn’t able to move on all those years ago. That I couldn’t bring myself to put my mouth on another woman who wasn’t her. Because touching her, kissing her, finding our mutual pleasure—this is everything.

She’s everything.