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PROLOGUE

T en Years Earlier

TRINA

I hate people. Okay, not people, but large gatherings of them. Especially when I don’t know most of them. I’m sort of an introvert—in social settings, anyway. That’s why I’m standing off to the side on this hot June day, observing all the laughing, smiling partygoers instead of joining them. No one notices that I’ve drifted away from the crowd; They’re here to celebrate my younger sister, Emily, and her best friend, Shayna Donley.

Emily and Shayna are officially high school graduates. Shayna’s parents, Rose and John, are graciously hosting a graduation party for the girls today, while my parents are off gallivanting somewhere on a luxury cruise. When Mrs. Donley approached me about wanting to make it a party for both girls, she practically insisted, saying she wouldn’t have it any other way.

My vision blurs as tears of gratitude for the Donley’s kindness fill my eyes and I will them away. I never could have given Emily a party as nice as this one, and asking our parents for money to help wasn’t an option. Not that they don’t have plenty of it, it just comes attached to too many stipulations and their own special form of emotional blackmail.

I work as many hours as I’m able between my required classroom and field experience hours for paramedic school. I’ve finally saved enough for the small apartment I just rented. Now that Emily has graduated and will go off to college, I’ve moved out of our parents’ home.

God, have I ever been itching to get out of there. Instead, I stayed, since there was no way I was going to leave Emily to fend for herself in that house for her last few years of high school. Emily is an extrovert, a true social butterfly who thrives around other people. The idea of leaving her alone with my parents—who are almost never home and even when they are, they’re emotionally absent—was unpalatable. So, I’ve stayed four years longer than I had to in order to make sure she got through her high school years unscathed.

I smile to myself thinking of how many times someone—usually me or the Donley twins, Jack and Ben—had to rescue Emily and Shayna from some trouble they accidentally found themselves in the middle of. They’re both good kids, so they never intended to do bad things, but sometimes their naivety and matching extroverted personalities landed them in situations they couldn’t find their way out of.

Me, I like people well enough, but I don’t have the time or energy right now to focus on a social life. Truthfully, if given the choice, I prefer small gatherings and keep the circle of individuals I trust tight. It’s easier to avoid disappointment that way.

As I glance around, my eye catches Rose and John walking around chatting with the partygoers. A pang of longing and a wave of sadness washes over me as I think about how close they are with their kids and wishing Emily and I had that with our parents. We didn’t though, and never will.

When I was in my early teenage years, I finally figured out that no matter how much I tried to spend time with my parents, tried to connect with them, they saw Emily and me as little more than obligations. Did they take care of us financially? Sure. We had nice clothes, they paid our school fees, and live-in nannies attended to our daily needs while Mom and Dad lived their best lives.

Dad worked a lot and Mom spent her days away from home, doing whatever it was she and her rich friends did. Vacations? Oh, yes, there were lots of vacations. But my parents took them alone most of the time, leaving us at home with the nannies.

When I was fourteen and Emily was ten, they had their travel agent plan a trip to Disney. Emily and I were over the moon excited for our first family vacation. At least until they told us they were sending the nannies with us, and they were going to a resort for their vacation. It devastated Emily when she found out our parents wouldn’t be there. The memories are still so vivid in my mind even today, eight years later. God, I’m twenty-two-years old. Why can’t I forget this?

Like they often do, a memory from the past forces it’s way to the forefront of my mind.

My hands tremble as I knock on the open door of Mom and Dad’s sitting room. Emily and I aren’t allowed in here with them, so I might get in trouble for even knocking. It’s their space. Dad glances over at me, a glass of amber liquid with some ice in it gripped in his hand while Mom, reclining on the couch with her feet on Dad’s lap and sipping wine, doesn’t even look up.

“Yes, Trina? What is it? Is there an emergency?” Dad’s voice is deep, firm.

“N-no, sir. I’m sorry. I’m aware I’m only supposed to bother you when you’re in here if there’s an emergency. But this is important. May I come in?”

He doesn’t answer but waves me in with his hand and so I step into the room and gingerly approach them. I stand a few feet from where they’re sitting on the couch, my hands folded in front of me.

I clear my throat and address my father. Mom still hasn’t acknowledged I’m here.

“Emily and I are really grateful for the trip to Disney. But we were wondering if maybe you and Mom could take us instead of the nanny. If… if it could be a family trip.”

Mom slides her feet off Dad and sits upright, pinning her angry gaze on me.

“I’m sorry, Trina. That’s not possible. Your father and I have already made plans for the resort. And all that walking around the park, waiting while you’re on rides, it wouldn’t be enjoyable for us.”

“But, Mom, Emily is so excited. Imagine getting to see her face light up as she takes in everything. She really wants you there.”

Dad sets his glass firmly on the coffee table, drawing my eyes back to him.

“Trina, you’re being dramatic again. We talked about this. Your mother and I need time away together.”

“B-but what about spending time with me and Emily?” My voice is a whisper.

“Stop making this a big deal!” my mother snaps. “Do you really think you have it so hard? A trip to Disney would thrill most other children. Do you want us to cancel the trip, and you can stay here?”

I stare down at the ground. “No, ma’am. I’m sorry. Thank you for the trip. I’m sorry I bothered you about this. May I be dismissed?” I lift my gaze to look at my father again.

“Go,” he says.

I walk out of the room, appreciating that my tears wait to fall until I’ve turned my back.

When I get far enough from their sitting room, I run and don’t stop until I’m in my room and on my bed. Once there, I let the salty streams flow from my eyes. I swear I cry for an hour. Finally, when there are no more tears to come, I sit up at the side of the bed and make myself a promise.

Mom and Dad may not want to be around us, but I’m going to be the best older sister to Emily that I can. I’ll do anything I have to do so that she knows she’s loved, protected, and special. It’s too late for me, but not for her.

I’m torn from my trip down memory lane when a gentle voice interrupts my thoughts.

“Trina, honey, are you okay? You’ve been standing over here by yourself for quite some time. And I don’t see a smile on that beautiful face of yours.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “Yes, I’m fine, Mrs. Donley. I’m sorry, I was lost in thought. I’m so thankful for you and Mr. Donley including Emily as part of this celebration.”

“Oh, there’s nothing to thank us for. It’s our pleasure. Shayna and Emily are inseparable, and Emily is like a daughter to us after all this time.”

“Well, thank you anyway. Are you sure I can’t give you some money toward the food and cake?”

Mrs. Donley flaps her hand toward me. “Trina Flynn, absolutely not. John and I won’t hear of that. Now, please, let’s go get you a drink and then enjoy the party a little. It’s okay for you to have a good time. Emily is having a great day. Okay?”

I smile at her. “Sure.”

I follow her back to the main patio and, once I have a drink in hand, I smile at her again before I awkwardly hug her. When I walk away, I sit in the first empty seat I find near the periphery of the party. I’m not sure I have it in me today to be smack dab in the middle of everyone.

The Donleys are one of those families that every child should get to grow up a part of, but so few do. They have five children. No family is perfect, but anyone who’s spent time around them knows that John and Rose are good people and that their kids know they’re loved.I’m immensely grateful that in the four years Emily and Shayna have been friends, she’s seen this example of what a family can be like.

I’m occupied watching Emily and Shayna laughing with a group of their friends as they play cornhole, so I don’t notice when Ben, a twin and the oldest of the Donley siblings, sits in the empty seat next to me until he speaks.

“Hey there, Trina.”

I turn to gaze at Ben, trying to ignore the fact that he’s so attractive, though I suspect he’s probably not even trying to look good. He’s wearing a T-shirt and cargo shorts but it’s his stupid smile with those damn dimples and his pale blue, almost gray, eyes that annoyingly draw me in.

“Benjamin.” It’s all I say in response and, rather than deter him from further conversation, he chuckles.

Ben and his twin brother, Jack, were two years behind me in high school. While Jack had a serious girlfriend during those years, Ben had a reputation as a ladies’ man—the exact type of guy I try to avoid in life. Unfortunately, because our little sisters frequently found themselves in some sort of trouble they couldn’t find their way out of, I’ve gotten to know Ben way better than I’d planned.Even if he is charming and easy on the eyes.

“I heard you’re about to start the fire academy. Congratulations.”

Ugh, I have to be polite.

“Thank you. And I heard you’re working on your criminal justice program and applying to the police academy. Is that right?”

A huge grin spreads across his face.

“Why, Trina, are you asking around about me?” He winks, and I roll my eyes.

“You’re impossible. No, I’m not asking anyone about you. We’re unfortunately connected forever by those two goofballs,”—I gesture over to Shayna and Emily—“so it’s natural I hear news about you.”

“Let me take you to dinner.” Ben’s voice goes from playful to serious in no time flat.

I rub my hand over my eyes. He’s so predictable.

Looking down at my watch before I lift my eyes to meet his again, I shake my head. “Wow, that took you all of three minutes this time. Why do you keep asking me out? Do you have a vacancy to fill in your rolling calendar of women?”

Ben has flirted with me and asked me out nearly every time he’s seen me since we met in high school. I have to give him credit, few freshmen would have been ballsy enough to ask a junior to homecoming his first year at the school. But Ben did. He’s relentless. It’s a little flattering, or it would be if I wasn’t one of many women I’m sure he flirts with.

“Why do you keep saying no?” he quips.

I snap my eyes up to peer at him, tilting my head to the side, and stare at him for a few seconds before answering.

“Are you seriously asking me that?”

His smile is gone, his eyes fixed on my face. “Yes. I’m seriously asking you that.”

I decide that if I tell him the truth, he’ll stop trying to get me to go out with him every time I see him. Then I can stop being tempted to say yes.

“Fine, Benjamin. I’m going to be honest with you. First, you’re too young—I’m twenty-two and you’re only twenty. Second?—”

“Not a good excuse. You only turned twenty-two like three months ago, and I’ll be twenty-one in a week. Next.”

“Don’t interrupt me. It’s rude.” He smirks at me. God, he’s irritating. But why does my lower belly flip-flop when he looks at me like that? Ew . “The second reason is that this is a joke to you. You’ve been asking me out for years. Any pretense of you being serious is long gone.”

He stares at me, his eyes refusing to release me from their hold.

“Are you done?”

I shrug. “For now.”

* * *

BEN

I lean closer to Trina, not breaking eye contact with her.

“Nothing with you is a joke to me, Trina. Every time I’ve asked you out, I’ve been one hundred percent serious. Every. Single. Time.”

I swear I hear a small gasp escape her and her mouth gapes in surprise.

God, she’s fucking beautiful. In the traditional way, sure—long blonde hair flowing down her back, striking blue eyes, and a body any man would have to be blind not to notice. Her smile, Jesus, it’s almost paralyzing. When she smiles, she’s so damn radiant. She doesn’t do it very often though, and that’s a shame.

There’s more to her behind that tough exterior she displays. I see it when she looks at her sister, in how she’s taken care of Emily these last few years. She’d do anything for Emily. I suspect if you’re lucky enough to be loved by Trina Flynn, you’ll experience nothing else like it.

As if she suddenly realizes she allowed her mask to drop, Trina’s face transforms into a neutral expression, giving away nothing about what she’s thinking or feeling.

She sighs and looks away from me, subtly moving her upper body, putting more distance between us.

“Why would you even want to go out with me, Ben? You’re… energetic and social. I’m more reserved. I have a small circle of friends, and I like to keep it that way. We’re, like, opposites.”

I’m quick to answer. “Opposites attract.”

She looks over at me again, her blue eyes serious. “Well, there’s more to attraction than the physical.”

Whoa. Did she imply she likes how I look?

I can’t stop myself from grinning. “Did you just say that you’re attracted to me, Trina?” I keep my voice low, so others won’t overhear. The crowd is dwindling. Even so, she’s private and wouldn’t want anyone to hear me.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she makes eye contact with me again, she opens her mouth to speak and I’m absolutely dying to hear her answer.

But I don’t get to.

Because Emily and Shayna are suddenly standing in front of us.

“Tri? Can I please borrow your car so Shayna and I can go to a few other grad parties before we call it a night?”

Trina turns to focus on our sisters, her face and shoulders visibly softening.

“Will there be any underage drinking?” Trina asks.

“Seriously? If there is, we won’t be partaking. Right Shay?” Next to her, Shayna nods.

“And how am I supposed to get home?”

“Um, I guess we could drop you off first. It’s a little out of the way, though.” Emily bites her lower lip and looks at Shayna.

Trina chuckles, throwing her head back. It’s a good look on her.

“I’m sorry to inconvenience you,” she says, grinning at Emily and Shayna. “It’s fine. I can get an Uber or something.” Trina reaches into her pocket and pulls out a set of keys, handing them to Emily.

Both girls lean in and hug Trina. I’m pleasantly surprised to see her hug them back.

“Make sure you thank the Donleys before you leave.” Trina tries to whisper it in Emily’s ear, but I hear anyway. Emily nods.

When Emily and Shayna stand upright again, they thank her and take off toward their friend group.

Trina pulls out her phone and starts swiping at the screen.

“What are you doing?”

She doesn’t glance up but answers. “I’m ordering an Uber. What does it look like I’m doing?”

I risk her wrath and grab her phone from her hands before she has a chance to stop me.

Her eyes bulge, and she jerks her head back in disbelief. “What the hell? Give me my phone back.”

“You’re not calling an Uber. I’m gonna drive you home.” My voice is firm, and I hope it’s enough to convince her.

If looks could kill, I think I’d be halfway dead right now with the way her eyes home in on me. It takes everything in me not to swallow the lump in my throat while she’s watching me so intently.

“Fine. But give me back my phone, Benjamin.”

I pass her the phone, and the skin of our hands barely graze against each other, but I swear I feel a tingle in the spot. Trina jerks her hand back like I shocked her, then looks down at it, her brow momentarily furrowed before she recovers.

“I’ll go get my keys and meet you out front if you want to say goodbye to anyone.” I stand and walk back into our house, saying nothing else.

Twenty minutes later, I pull up in front of the brick building Trina’s new apartment is in and park the car. I unbuckle my seatbelt, and the click must get her attention. She whips her head in my direction.

“What are you doing?” She squints at me as her brow wrinkles.

“I’m walking you to your door.” I open the car and practically leap out before she says no.

When I make it over to her side of the car, she’s already out and walking toward the front of the building. I follow closely. As she reaches for the metal handle on the door, she whirls around to face me so quickly that I almost run into her.

“Thanks for the ride. And, uh, for walking me to the door, I guess.” Her eyes dart around, looking everywhere but at me.

“This isn’t your door, Trina.” I say quietly.“I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

Trina huffs. “Ridiculous is what you’re succeeding at being,” she snaps. But she opens the door, walks through, and I follow her as we climb the steps.

I don’t want to leave yet. That’s the weird thing about Trina and me. Since the very first time I met her, I consistently get this odd pang in my chest when we go our separate ways. It’s not painful per se, but I hate it.

Trina turns to me. “Okay, well. This is it. So, thanks. See ya.”

She faces the door and puts the key in the deadbolt and unlocks it. When she grasps the knob to open the door, panic rises in my chest, and I place my hand on top of hers to stop her. She stills.

I don’t know what to say, but I need to say something. I swear I’ve had a thing for Trina since the first time I saw her across the soccer field in high school. Though I thought it would fade or go away completely, it’s only intensified over the last few years.

“It’s almost dinnertime. Let me take you to Pat’s Diner for a simple meal. No strings attached.” I want my voice to sound confident, manly, but it sounds raspy and quivers a little.

“We just came from a party with more food than we could ever want. I’m not hungry.” She stares at the door, our hands still grasping the handle together.

I move my mouth near her ear. “Please, Trina. Take a chance on me.” I practically beg.

Her upper body shivers against mine and she angles her head toward me, our cheeks brushing against each other’s.

“You have a reputation, Ben.” My stomach drops.

“Don’t believe everything you hear.” Having her so close, wanting to touch her, to kiss her, is nearly killing me.

“Is it not true?” she whispers.

I turn my head so my lips caress her cheek. “Not all of it. And no one else matters. Only you and me.”

My heart pounds in my chest at her nearness. Her breathing is shallow, rapid. She turns her head achingly slowly until the corners of our mouths are touching.

“Don’t make me regret you, Benjamin. Please.”

Unable to stop myself, I take my hand off hers and run the backside of my fingertips down her cheek. “I won’t. I promise.”

And with that, our lips collide.