Page 15 of Only Fans

@ B randi

Slipping into my Skims Waffle tank and underwear set after drying off from the hot steamy shower I just had, I lit my favorite Bath and Body Works candle, White Lavender Eucalyptus to help set a relaxed vibe so that I could calm my nerves.

My nerves were shot to shingles after what had gone down today.

I wasn’t surprised by the fact that Reggie was messing around with other chicks.

I wasn’t surprised that one of them confronted us today, but I was taken for a total loop with how he handled it.

The whole time we were arguing, all I could think was I couldn’t get home fast enough to calm myself down.

As soon as I locked my front door, I headed straight for my master bathroom, stripped out my clothes, then jumped in the shower to wash away all the stress from the day.

The only good thing about today was my follow up doctor’s appointment.

Thankfully, all was going really good with me and our baby, which was soothing to hear.

Having lost my last child before, I had feared from the moment I found out I was pregnant again that something would happen to this baby.

So, every time I got a good report from my doctor it was music to my ears.

I just wished that Reggie and I were on the same page, especially now that we were about to become parents.

If only I could get him to change his ways.

I realized today that Reggie and I may never be on the same page and I was going to have to do my best with dealing with the cards that he dealt me if I wanted to be with him.

Reggie was the love of my life, and no matter what he did he would always hold a big piece of my heart.

He filled a void in my life that my dad left causing me to be very vulnerable when it came to men.

All my life I had to accept what time I could get from my dad and due to his busy life, he didn’t have very much to give me.

Even though my dad was alive and well, I still felt like a fatherless child.

For as long as I could remember I yearned for true, unconditional love from my dad, and I never really got that.

Having to grow up and from an early age, I learned to accept and be okay with what people dished out to me.

It was the reason why I had allowed for Reggie to mistreat me and the reason why I was always willing to disregard my truth to be accepted by others.

Just like with my sister Deja. We were half-sisters sharing the same dad.

For many years Deja and her mom hated me because our dad cheated on Deja’s mom with my mom and made me.

When Deja’s mom found out about me, an instant war was created between my mom and her, and unfortunately, I was collateral damage because I was the result of my dad’s indiscretions.

It took years for me and Deja to develop a relationship because our dad would go between her house and ours keeping up drama between our moms. Her mom didn’t want her having a relationship with me, and my mom didn’t want me having one with Deja in fear of me being mistreated.

My mom didn’t trust Deja and her mom’s intentions toward me, so my mom felt like I shouldn’t push too hard for me and Deja to have a relationship.

I disagreed with that because Deja was my older sister and neither one of us could control our dad’s actions.

It wasn’t fair to either one of us for us to not get along when we were blood siblings.

My mom’s health ended up taking a turn for the worse my senior year of high school, and two years after I graduated, she passed away from a rare form of bone cancer.

After my mom passed my safety net was taken from me in an instant.

Thankfully, she had an insurance policy, so I wound up getting a little over eighteen thousand after her funeral and burial was paid for.

With the money I was able to maintain paying the bills on my mom’s rented condo for a little over a year.

Once my savings started to get low, I started doing freelance writing work from home.

Even though I sucked as a student, I was a very strong writer.

I actually enjoyed writing, and reading was my favorite pastime, so I lucked up being able to work doing something I enjoyed and from the comforts of my home.

The only downside was my pay would fluctuate based off of the writing jobs I got.

By the time I met Reggie, I was at a very low point financially.

My savings were just about depleted, and I was literally working job to job.

Reggie stepped in and changed my entire world.

He made sure my bank account was always sitting pretty and my bills were paid on time.

As things progressed between us, he eventually bought the townhouse that I lived in now.

Reggie was essential to my life and the lifestyle I had grown accustomed to having, which was why I was willing to put up with his bullshit.

Because of Reggie, living paycheck to paycheck became a thing of the past, and I had grown to love how financially secure I was, it just sucked that it had to come with a price.

Reggie and I had messed around with one another for about five and a half years on and off.

I included our off time in those five and a half years only because when we were off and called ourselves broken up, we still had sex.

To be honest, there was never really a time when we didn’t have sex except for now.

Me and Reggie’s relationship was so toxic that by the time I realized it, I was in way too deep with him.

He had quickly become my addiction and at one point, I couldn’t see myself living without him.

The last time we broke up was after my first miscarriage.

That was a very hard and emotional time for both of us.

I knew Reggie was hurting over the loss of our baby and I was beyond devastated as well.

I had fallen in such a dark place that it affected my writing.

My entire mental status was thrown completely off.

I wasn’t able to eat, sleep, write, read, nothing.

I couldn’t shake the pain of losing our baby and I couldn’t help but to take it personal because I felt like my body failed me; and not just our child, but all of us.

Reggie and I became very withdrawn from each other emotionally, leading to us both stepping out on our relationship.

As bad as I hated to admit it, it was a given that Reggie would step out and seek comfort in the arms of other women but what was most shocking was when I cheated on him.

As much as I loved him, I had started to resent him just as much, causing me to react and for the first time I cheated on him.

One could argue that he deserved it from all that he had put me through, but I loved him and never planned to ever tell him whether I felt justified in my cheating or not.

I regretted what I had done at first, I wasn’t thinking clearly. But at the time, I was hurting and in need of something that Reggie wasn’t capable of giving me.

The one person that I needed to be strong for me bucked when I needed them the most. Reggie practically pushed me into the arms of another man.

Richie was a guy from around the way that had been trying to shoot his shot with me since high school.

Over the years we kept in contact through social media, and it wasn’t uncommon for us to flirt and message each other especially in moments when I’d be lonely, or Reggie and I were on the outs.

Things with Richie and I never got physical until the day I cheated.

I was feeling pretty down on this particular day.

It was two weeks after I had miscarried, and Reggie and I had gotten into a big falling out.

I wanted him to be by my side, yet he had checked out of our relationship emotionally.

I knew he was hurt because we had just found out that I was having a boy and he was stoked about having a son.

But after I lost the baby, he made me feel like he blamed me, causing me to get in my feelings and in turn blame him for losing the baby due to me always being stressed out about him and his bullshit.

We went back and forth, tit for tat saying some pretty hurtful things to one another and broke up.

I was so upset that I made the mistake of making a post on Facebook about how men ain’t shit and changed my relationship status to single.

It only took seconds later, and Richie was in my inbox asking me what was going on, so I vented to him.

I needed to get it off my chest and he provided me with the listening ear I needed.

He offered to take me to Lake Geneva Grand Resort for a weekend getaway and reset and I took him up on his offer.

Richie owned a cleaning service, and he had a few clients to service in Lake Geneva which was a frequent trip for him due to his business.

Since he sometimes frequented the Grand Resort up to three times a month, he was able to get all exclusive access to all the benefits the resort offered.

He described a loft style villa with a picture-perfect view of Lake Geneva, along with all expenses paid access to all the food service and resources the resort offered.

He mentioned something about a hair and nail salon and a massage experience that would have you weak in the knees and I was sold. It sounded heaven sent.