Page 40

After Ruth and Angie finish stitching my skin over Amos’ stump, my back is pretty much all healed up.

I leave the room, needing some air as I cling to the hope that my skin will help close Amos’ wound.

The sting of my newly healed skin is the only reminder of what was likely a gruesome sight less than an hour ago.

But I heal fast. Faster now than I ever did in the bunker.

Perhaps the healthier lifestyle and diet are more agreeable than the life I spent as a lab rat with limited access to a dank and dark basement.

Dana is the first person I see as I descend the stairs, leading into a cozy living room.

I stand over her, watching as she cleans her rifle.

Without looking up at me, she says, “We moved the prisoner to the shed. Two of my people, Marcus and Alex, are on guard. Do you want to talk to him?”

My intention was to stay far away from Jonah, but my head nods before I can even think about it.

Dana makes quick work putting her rifle back together and swings the strap around her back.

I follow her out the same side door we had entered over an hour ago, walking past the red Honda and a small vegetable garden.

“What is this place?” I ask Dana, remembering what Amos had told me about where we had been heading to.

“One of our safe houses. The old manor house was hit by Dr. Tuwile’s men. Thankfully, we got everyone out of there before the raid, but the surrounding houses…we suffered too many casualties.”

“I’m so sorry. Amos and I left as soon as we heard about the planned attacks. We found a car crash. No survivors. Amos mentioned the name Earl when we found a…body.”

Dana’s steps halt abruptly, choking on a sob.

“Oh, Earl. He was a good man. One of our leaders. During the attack, he and a few others took one of the cars and tried to take out as many of the bastards as they could. We weren’t sure if…well now I know. Thank you for telling me.”

I place a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

She reaches back with a squeeze of her own before continuing down the grassy path.

“Amos has told me so much about you and yet, I knew there was something big he wasn’t telling me. You not only used to live with Dr. Tuwile’s people. You are his super soldier.”

Dana didn’t ask, which means she likely figured it out or Jonah had been talking.

I nod anyway. “Amos saved me from that hellhole. Brought me to The Valley.”

“What I don’t understand is why? The Valley is one of the most well-protected survivor communities on this side of The Wall. They rarely ever bring in new survivors and never those from Dr. Tuwile’s crew.”

“I was not in his crew. I was…” Memories of pain, anger, grief shock my system for a moment, leaving me breathless.

“Our prisoner, Jonah, says you were…friends.”

“More than friends. That stopped the moment he chose Dr. Tuwile over me. I don’t know what he’s doing here. Why he saved our lives. Why I even want to talk to him.”

Dana stops a few feet from where Marcus and Alex stand guard outside the shed where Jonah is imprisoned.

“Closure is likely the reason.” She doesn’t wait for my response, only orders Marcus and Alex to open the door and give me privacy.

“Only open the door back up when Lori says she is ready.”

I walk past Dana, and she stands aside for her guards to open the door to the shed.

Marcus stands back, holding out his gun in case Jonah tries to make a run for it.

When Alex waves me in, I take hurried steps past her and into the dimly lit shed.

Jonah sulks in the back corner, crouching over his knees.

He doesn’t look up until the door closes behind me, the lock bolting back in place.

I clear my throat, delaying as I find the right words to say.

What do I even want to say?

But Jonah beats me to it.

“Is Amos okay?”

Hearing Jonah say the name of the man who’s become my friend and lover in the last eight months is a strange sensation.

An out-of-body feeling that makes it hard to tell if my feet are firmly pressed to the ground.

Jonah is here. Jonah saved my life.

He saved Amos’ life.

Though there is still the possibility that Amos could turn into a zombie if the virus made it into his bloodstream.

“He’ll be okay,” is all I say.

Silence fills a void between us, one I want to stay in place because any more words would mean I forgive Jonah.

That I’m grateful for him.

And yes, I am, for what he did today.

But how can I forget about the four years of torture he let me endure all because he believed Doctore was building a future for us?

For humanity. I can’t forget those four years, no matter how hard I try.

Before Jonah can break the silence again, I ask, “Why did you help us? You could have easily let that man rape me and kill Amos. Taken me back to Doctore. I’m sure he would have rewarded you with more Roman titles of honor. And why did you tell me to sever the spinal cord of your men? Were they infected?”

My voice comes out cold and vapid, just as I had intended, but the reaction from Jonah takes me by surprise.

He hangs his head low in shame, mulling over my words, feeling every harsh syllable.

“Before that day…when you escaped…” Jonah hesitates before continuing.

“I hadn’t wanted to see you in the arena because I knew what Doctore did to you. I didn’t want to see it. Seeing it would make it real and I wanted to live in the ignorance of seeing you whole. I was wrong. Wrong about Doctore. Novus Seclorum. Everything. I’m sorry, Lori.”

“Sorry?” I shout, cutting his apology short.

“You are a legatus. Obviously Doctore trusts you enough to give you a cohort of ten vicious men to go out and murder innocent survivors. To kidnap those you don’t end up killing. How many people have you killed? How many people have you let him torture?”

“I had to, Lori. If I didn’t keep doing what he expected of me, he would have killed me !”

“And that justifies killing?”

“No. It justifies surviving. I held my men back from doing their worst. I did everything I could to protect anyone we came across. But I had to remain on Doctore’s good side.”

“What, were you afraid he’d turn you into his lab rat?” The fumes of my anger radiate off my flesh, making the heat of the warm June sun feel like a blazing fire.

I pace around the shed, letting my anger drown all rational thinking.

Flashes of my time in the bunker race across my mind.

Jonah escorting me to the lab.

Doctore cutting me open, examining all my innards, testing my limits.

Jonah fucking my tired, hollow body.

Zombies tearing me to pieces on the arena floor.

Hungry orphans. A little girl turning.

I throw my hands up to my head, attempting to push all the memories out.

Alison had helped me cope with the worst of my trauma, but I can’t remember a damn thing she’s said to me.

How to breathe. How to ground myself in the present.

I’m spiraling. Hard.

A pair of warm hands brace me, gripping my shoulders.

Warm hands I know aren’t Amos’ because he no longer has a pair.

The thought is enough to break me in my fragile state.

As my weak points begin to shatter, Jonah squeezes my shoulders.

The slight tinge of pain helps bring me back.

Then his voice coaxes me to open my eyes.

“All of his soldiers are dosed with the virus, just enough to bring us back from the dead to keep killing. Including me.” Jonah sighs.

“I didn’t know this until after you left. A lot of things fell into place for me that day. I swore I wouldn’t stop until I found you. A vow I gave to Doctore as he laid on a hospital bed for weeks after you skewered him with that spear. But my promise was to you. That I would find you and make sure Doctore never laid another hand on you.”

Our eyes meet for a fraction of a second, and in that moment, I see the boy I once loved.

My lifelong crush, high school sweetheart, prom date.

That boy might still be somewhere inside the body of this man, but he no longer exists.

And yet, the man who stands before me now is not the same man I grew to hate in the bunker.

The coldness gripping my heart cools my fury just enough to breathe deeply.

After a few breaths, I feel the chains of my trauma break, releasing me from the pain for now.

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive you, Jonah.”

“Don’t. I never dreamed forgiveness would be possible. All I want is for you to allow me to protect you. To keep you from falling into his hands again.”

I shake my head.

“A lot of people want you dead, Jonah. You were part of a raid that killed so many innocent people in this community. The Valley won’t let you in.”

“If I can convince Amos, do you think he could change their minds?”

I smile.

“Do you think you could convince Amos?”

Jonah shrugs, finally releasing my shoulders from his grip.

The weight I had been feeling against my chest releases as he takes a step back.

“If anything, I have a lot of useful information about Doctore. Who’s working for him. Where to find him. What other experiments have been successful.”

Before I can ask about the other experiments, a hurried knock sounds at the shed door.

“Lori, it’s Amos, he’s up.”

I rush back up to the farmhouse, leaving Jonah behind in the shed.

The raw emotions of my conversation with Jonah are still stirring up inside me.

When I walk into Amos’ room, I’m breathless, crying, and ready to collapse from the overstimulation.

“Are those tears for me?” Amos asks, sitting up on the bed.

In five steps, I’m at his side, crying my eyes out as I carefully collapse into bed with him.

He pulls me against his chest, using his good arm.

“I was so scared, Amos. The thought of losing you when I only just—”

“It’s a good thing your boyfriend thought to cut my arm off.” Amos’ joke is anything but lighthearted.

His voice is dark and menacing, as if he’s imagining ways of killing Jonah.

I glare up at him, hoping that he didn’t mean it, that he can’t possibly think I see Jonah in that way.

“Are you jealous? Or worried that I’ll go back to him?” I ask in all seriousness, but Amos tries to brush it off, shrugging his shoulders like it doesn’t bother him.

“No. Don’t do that. We are not that kind of couple who dismiss each other, ignoring the doubts and fears we try to hide deep inside ourselves.”

“You think we are a couple?” His voice shakes, unable to hide his feelings in such a weakened physical state.

“You will not push me away, Amos. You won’t get rid of me that easily. Or ever. We are moving in together when we get back to The Valley. We are going to be that annoying, disgusting couple who can’t keep their hands off each other. We survive together.”

Amos holds me tighter against him as he whispers in my hair, “I love you, Copperhead.”