Page 33

As Kyle had predicted, no one in leadership agreed to allow me in the meeting.

Not even my mother. Amos wanted to protest, but I stopped him, telling him I’d be waiting on the terrace for him after the meeting.

It’s been over thirty minutes since Amos walked into the conference room and I’m getting nervous.

“Do meetings usually last this long?” I ask Kyle, who followed me up to the terrace shortly after escorting us to the health center.

Kyle shrugs. “Sometimes they’re in there for an hour, sometimes only fifteen minutes. But when we receive a message from The Wall, it’s usually a serious meeting and lasts for a while.”

The Wall.

The first time I heard about The Wall was when I was bleeding all over Amos’ car after he rescued me from the arena.

My mom explained more about it and I’ve heard mention of it since, putting the pieces together over the last few months.

There are several safe zones from Pennsylvania to New Jersey.

All of them are set up near The Wall, which spans multiple highways across the two states.

I can only imagine how hard it must have been to not only find the resources and living humans to build a solid enough wall spanning hundreds of miles, but to do so without suffering major losses from zombie hordes.

The U.S. military guards the outposts inside The Wall.

Communities like The Valley work with the military to share food, resources, and information.

No one from outside a sanctioned community is allowed transit within The Wall.

It makes me wonder how Doctore’s men get around.

Jonah and I weren’t the only ones they kidnapped.

Has Jonah become one of those men now?

Kidnapping innocent people to become Doctore’s lab rats?

The thought makes me shiver.

“Are you cold, Copperhead?”

I whip around to find Amos taking unwavering steps in my direction.

He stops a foot away from me as if purposely keeping his distance, yet I know how much he wants to close the space between us.

For just a moment, it feels like we are the only two humans left in the world as we stare into each other’s eyes.

He breaks the spell, turning his gaze away from me and out to the view of The Valley as he leans against the low wall of the terrace.

“I’m really sorry, Lori, but I’ve got to head out.”

“What? Take me with you,” I plead.

“I’m ready.”

“I know you are, but I don’t want you to be seen at The Wall. Not yet.”

“Why?”

“I was gonna promise to tell you everything when I get back. But since that won’t quell your curiosity, I’ll tell you this much.” Amos pauses, taking a breath as he glances over my shoulder to where Kyle hunches over the edge of the terrace.

“We know that Dr. Tuwile has spies at The Wall. I cannot risk bringing you there.”

I stop breathing when I hear Doctore’s name from Amos’ lips.

It’s the last thing I expected him to say.

I’m safe. He can’t get me here.

I’ve believed in this safe haven for months, thinking that Doctore can never find me here.

But what if he can?

“Does he have spies here too?” My voice shakes, giving away my fear.

Amos finally closes the distance between us, pressing me against his body and wrapping his arms around me.

“No. Not here. But out there? Yes. They are everywhere, Lori. If you want to fight, if you want to join us out there, you have to be prepared for them.”

“That’s why you’ve been keeping me from going out there?”

“Yes. I know you can handle it. I just—”

“No, I get it.” The fear in my voice makes me sound angry, so I soften the fear and try again with, “I am scared. I won’t deny that. But I’m ready to face them. I am ready to fight.”

Amos takes a small step away from our embrace to look me in the eye.

“I know you are. I promise I will be back in a day. Two at most.”

I nod, not trusting myself to say another word.

I don’t want Amos to go.

We’ve only just discovered what we mean to each other, what we could be.

“You better be back in one day, Amos.”

He laughs at my attempt at assertiveness.

“I will do my best. And when I get back, when things are settled, we can talk, we can fuck, whatever you want. I am yours. Got it?”

Amos’ words hit me with a force I wasn’t ready for, nearly knocking me over.

To hold myself up, I wrap my arms around his wide shoulders and pull him to my lips for a tender, hungry kiss.

A kiss that’s interrupted way too quickly when someone from the other side of the terrace clears their throat.

When Amos and I step away from each other, I turn to see my mom walking toward us.

“You should leave now, Amos, before it gets too dark.”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry, Cathy. I just didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye to Lori.”

“I see that,” my mom says with hands on hips.

But I know she’s not angry.

In fact, she is quite enjoying herself as Amos gets all self-conscious and worried about being caught kissing her daughter.

Amos gives me a shy smile and an innocent peck on the cheek.

“See you later.”

“No longer than a day,” I demand, pointing my finger at him as he walks backward, not yet ready to turn away.

His shy smile turns devilish at my neediness.

Goddammit, why does he have to go?

He peels his eyes from mine and calls over to Kyle.

“Lucas is coming with me. He’s prepping our cargo with Anna now. You are in charge while I’m gone.”

“Yes, sir!” Kyle says in all seriousness while playing the role of the general’s lieutenant.

Not that Amos is an actual general, but well, he kinda is.

The two men exit through the glass doors leaving me alone with my mom, who stares at me with a look that says, “you better tell me everything.”

“We only kissed, Mom. That’s it.”

“Mmhmmm.”

“Okay, fine. I really like him. I’ve liked him for a while. And today I found out that maybe he likes me. We kissed. We almost had sex. But Kyle interrupted us.”

How does my mom have this power over me?

I am always forced to tell her exactly what I’m feeling.

I can never lie to her.

I honestly don’t know if it’s a curse or a gift.

My mom joins me at the half wall around the terrace.

“I knew Amos had serious feelings for you, but I wasn’t sure how you felt. You were still so raw about Jonah. Are you ready to explore feelings for another man?”

Such a good question.

One I’ve thought about quite a lot, but my thoughts about Jonah are few and far between now.

He’s in my past. And even if I were to see him again, there would be nothing for us.

So I answer from my heart.

“Yes.”

Three days later, Amos is still not back from The Wall and I’m about ready to gather a battalion and go after him to make sure he’s safe.

I feel like I could kill anyone who gets in my way.

And if someone has hurt him or…

no, I can’t even think about that.

Amos is fine. He’ll be back.

He has to come back.

As I anxiously pace back and forth in the living area of my dorm, Cal emerges from their room.

Mina should be up soon too, but she requires more sleep than Cal.

I don’t stop pacing as Cal weaves their way through the living area and into the bathroom.

I’m still pacing when they re-enter after freshening up from a long sleep.

“You are driving me crazy. I could feel you pacing while sitting on the toilet,” Cal says, collapsing on the couch.

I stop pacing, but my anxious energy requires me to fidget.

“Shit, Lori. What’s going on?”

“Amos said he’d be gone for a day, two days tops. It’s been three. Where is he?”

“Damn, girl. You really got it bad for him.”

“What? No. I mean, yeah, I like him. I’m just worried for him, that’s all.” But I think I do have it bad for him , I say to myself.

The corner bedroom door opens and Mina pops her head out.

“Are you guys talking about how Lori has the hots for Amos?”

I roll my eyes as Cal confirms the topic of conversation and fold myself into the armchair in the corner of the living room.

“Does everyone know I have a crush on him?”

Mina scurries over to the couch and curls up next to Cal.

Both of them answer at the same time.

“Yes. At least the patrol crew does.”

Cal adds, “ And he has a crush on you . Is it true that Kyle walked in on you guys?”

I am mortified.

“How do you know about that? I mean, no, Kyle didn’t walk in on us. The door was locked. I mean—”

Cal and Mina cackle like a couple of old hags, making my body relax at how ridiculous I’m being.

We are all adults here.

There’s no shame in having sex with someone, even if it didn’t happen.

I think about one of the last things he said to me before leaving three days ago, “I’m not done with you yet, Copperhead.” The flush on my cheeks is likely visible, but I don’t care.

I hold on to that memory of him, the way he looked like he wanted to spread me wide and feast.

“What are you thinking about, Lori?” Mina asks wide-eyed.

“Why?” I ask innocently, keeping my composure this time.

“Spill. We want to know everything.”

Cal nudges Mina, saying, “Don’t include ‘we’ when it’s you who wants to know.”

I can’t help but laugh as I say, “Then you might want to leave the room, Cal, if you don’t want to hear about it.”

“Wait, what? Are you going to tell us?” Cal perches on the edge of the couch, looking me straight in the eyes.

What are friends for if not to coax out the deepest, darkest, juiciest secrets?

That’s who Cal and Mina are to me, right?

Friends.

“So it’s us now, huh?” Mina crosses her arms in mock anger.

Cal just shrugs and relaxes back into the couch.

I tell them everything about what happened three days ago after I stormed out of the cafeteria.

They sit so still I’m not sure they are even breathing as they listen to every detail I give them.

In a post-apocalyptic world such as the one we live in, there’s very little entertainment.

Movies, television shows, concerts?

Non-existent. Drama and gossip are the way to pass the time when we aren’t fighting to keep our community thriving.

My trust in Mina and Cal to not tell a soul about Amos and me must run deeper than I thought because I tell them every little detail down to the way his hands felt on me, to the things he said after our make-out session.

“If you need the release, I can get you there in a few minutes. But that’s not enough time for me to do everything I want to do to you.”

“Oh my freaking God, Lori. How did you not just drop your pants right then and there?” Mina shouts.

Cal’s laughter vibrates off the walls.

“I’m with Mina there. Amos gets me going with just one look. I don’t know how you could walk away after all of that.”

“What do you mean ‘gets you going’?” I ask, glaring at Cal with my viper-like eyes.

My gaze softens, though, when I think of Amos’ pet name for me.

“Copperhead.” I’m his viper, and he only has eyes for me.

Well, at least I hope so.

We still haven’t really talked about what we did, were about to do.

“Lori, Amos is a fox. He can wet anyone’s panties regardless of their sexual preference,” Cal explains, making me blush.

“Yeah, he’s not so bad to look at.” The smile on my face fades almost instantly.

“I miss him.”

Cal and Mina hop up in tandem, propping themselves on either side of the armchair I’m sitting in.

The comfort they offer helps soothe my worries.

Knowing they care about me has me feeling all kinds of things.

Friends. How did it happen that I have best friends?

I haven’t had this kind of relationship since…

Sarah. A vision of her gorgeous tanned skin and smoky quartz brown eyes infiltrates my mind.

Tears shred at my eyeballs as I attempt to hold them back.

“Lori, it’s going to be okay.” Mina pats my back as she holds me in a loose hug.

“Amos always comes back. He’s relentless. And he has unfinished business with you. That man needs to come back.”

My body wrangles with the emotions twirling around inside, and my chest clenches at the thought of never seeing him again.

That he’ll become just another person I’ve lost to this dangerous world.

That he’ll become a face that will fade from my memory.

“He freaking better!” Is all I can say as I give in to the tumult of tears.