Page 65 of On the Way to You
“They loved him, you know? And we would celebrate his birthday, and I’d listen to them tell stories about him, but I neverknewhim. I felt bad because I couldn’t cry or miss him, only theideaof him, of a brother.” Emery was quiet a moment, the sun directly over us casting shadows under his eyes. “Sometimes I feel like I disappoint my parents, like maybe they wish they had him here instead of me.”
“I don’t think they wish that at all,” I said, reaching over for his hand. I entwined my fingers with his, feeling the warmth of his rough skin on mine. “But I understand why you would feel that sometimes. And if it makes you feel any better, I know without a shadow of a doubt that my parents wish I wasn’t here.”
Emery was still frowning, his wheels turning, but he squeezed my hand in return. “That’s not true.”
“It is,” I argued. “Trust me — they’ve told me, more than a few times, actually. It’s stupid, because they never wanted me, but they never wanted anyoneelseto have me either — not child protective services or my best friend’s family or anyone else. It’s like they did just enough to get by as what they considered decent parents, just enough to keep me in their household. But they resented me, they think I stole their life away.”
“Right. Because you asked to be born,” Emery said, lips flat.
I chuckled. “Well, if they were here, they’d probably argue that I did.” Shrugging, I used my free hand to pull my hair over one shoulder. “But it’s fine. Lily’s family was all I ever needed. And Tammy, of course. I don’t think I would have made it without them.”
“Lily,” Emery mused. “That’s your best friend, right? The one who gave you that ring,” he said, nodding to the silver infinity loop still housed on my middle finger.
“Yeah. She’s crazy, and loud, and sarcastic. She’s also probably the only reason I never got bullied in high school. No one ever messed with Lily.”
“Does she know you left?”
I laughed. “Well, I shared my location with her in case you killed me, so yeah.”
“You’re not supposed to tell me that. Now if I kill you, I know to take your phone before I hide the body.”
“You wouldn’t kill me now,” I said confidently, leaning over the console to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Not now that I’ve hooked you with how adorable I am.”
“It’d be like murdering a kitten.”
“Exactly. You’re notthatmuch of a monster, Emery Reed. Even if you think you are.”
He eyed me from the driver seat with a smirk, lifting my hand entwined with his to his lips and kissing my fingers. Without another word, he turned up the volume on the radio, and we settled in for the four hour drive to the coast.
We made it.
The glowing edge of the sun had just barely touched the waterline when my bare foot hit the sand on Laguna Beach. I carried my sneakers on the tips of my fingers, walking straight past the Laguna Beach lifeguard stand with my eyes on the water. Emery followed a ways behind me along with Kalo, her tongue hanging out as she hopped around, flicking sand up with her paws in the process.
I paused when my toes hit the water’s edge, a shiver running up my spine when the icy water grazed my skin. I’d pulled on a sweater before we got out of the car and I wrapped it around me tighter, thankful for the shield from the breeze rolling in off the water. With the sun fading, the temperature was dropping fast, but it could have been twenty below zero and I still wouldn’t have moved.
It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Whispy clouds stretched over the blue sky, their white puffs taking on pink and purple hues as the sun dipped farther away. Its orange glow spanned across the water, reaching all the way to the exact spot where Emery and I stood, its bright light softening more and more with every passing second. There were people all around us, some with their family, some on their own, some snapping pictures, some just sitting, watching. We were all strangers, but we shared that sunset together, that punctuation mark on yet another day, each of us hanging on to the sun’s whispered promise that it would return again tomorrow.
“I’ve seen more in the past week than I’ve seen in my entire life,” I whispered to Emery, and he tucked me under his arm, pressing a kiss into my hair.
“Is it what you expected?”
“It’s more.” I shook my head. “It’s like I can’t open my eyes wide enough.”
“I love the way you see life,” Emery said, his eyes on me instead of the sunset. “It’s like nothing has ever disappointed you, like you don’t have a reason to believe it ever would.”
I glanced up at him, the hue of the sun illuminating the different shades of gold in his eyes. “I’ve been disappointed before,” I argued. “But that doesn’t mean I have to expect to be let down again. Every day is a new day, you know? A new chance.”
Emery shook his head, knuckles hooking under my chin. “You’re something else.”
“You already said that to me once,” I reminded him, my voice just a breath as my eyes fell to his lips. “I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
He smirked. “Good.” And then, just as the last of the sun sank beyond the Pacific, he leaned down, pressing his lips to mine.
A moment. Frozen in time. A boy and a girl. A beach and a kiss. I was beginning to measure my new beginning with those little snapshots of time, filing them away in a mental scrapbook for safe keeping.
“Can I ask you something?” I said, pulling back after a while, a little breathless.